A Lighter Shade of Grey
by Submissives-R-Us
Summary: What if Ana resisted Christians desire for her submission? If she had the sense not to jump into his playroom so quickly, making her his biggest challenge yet? A battle of wills that tests his sanity and her resolve ensues, involving family and friends who both help and hinder the couple toward a common goal. Revelations and drama help them to meet in the middle. Eventual HEA. AU
1. Chapter 1

A Lighter Shade of Grey - Chapter 1

Anastasia

* * *

Ana spent the best part of her journey from Seattle back to Portland muttering to herself.

"I'm such an idiot!" She exclaimed, cringing at the lingering awkwardness she felt clinging to her, even twenty minutes later when she'd regained the power of speech.

"_Are you gay Mr Grey?" _Ana lifted her hand to palm her forehead, unwittingly swerving slightly into the next lane and nearly giving herself a heart attack. Luckily there were no other vehicles near her. What in the world possessed her to read that question out loud? She couldn't believe that Kate would actually dare to ask it. Once again, she put her foot in it. Idiot! idiot! idiot!

"_We have an excellent internship at GEH, have you applied?" _The question had an obvious answer didn't it - just walking through the lobby there were blonde fembots everywhere.

"_I wouldn't fit in here, look at me!" _I'm bookish, plain and wouldn't touch a bottle of peroxide with a 10ft pole!

"_I am looking at you...Anastasia."_ Oh sweet mercy, the way he said her name - he made it sound like a reprimand. She'd never met anyone so intimidating and so utterly compelling in her short life. She squirmed in her seat as she remembered how breathtakingly gorgeous he was. He took her breath away the moment she laid eyes on him. He probably had that effect on all women...he was so unbelievably striking. The tousled 'sex hair', the expressive pretty grey eyes and the broad expanse of his shoulders in his very, very expensive suit.

_And don't forget the voice._ Deep, sexy, commanding and almost hypnotic. He certainly managed to throw her off her axis with just a few words and a look.

She continued berating herself for being so unprofessional, so meek and so utterly enthralled she might as well as asked him to sign her notebook out of pure adulation.

She was still muttering when she entered her and Kate's apartment and as she hung up her coat only for it to fall unnoticed by her as she toe'd her shoes off, nearly landing on her backside.

Kate watched from the couch where she was crashed surrounded by her cold supplies that Ana had so kindly arranged so that she wouldn't need to move. Tissues, vaseline (for her sore nose), two bottles of water, honey &amp; lemon linctus and paracetamol had been her companions, along with re-runs of The West Wing, whilst her darling friend had been interviewing Mr 'hot stuff' Grey.

Ana flopped down in the armchair with a defeated sigh. "How are you doing sweetie?"

Kate snorted, _which was painful by the way _and levelled her friend with her best 'you're kidding right?' stare. "_Ana_...I know that look and that huff. What happened? Did you do the interview?"

Ana ran her hands over her face and through her hair, crossing her hands at the back of her head, pulling her ponytail tightly to the point of painful. _Not as painful as embarrassing yourself in front of gorgeous billionaires though._

"Urgh! It was awful Kate...you didn't tell me the place was so damn shiny and everyone would be so damn….tidy! I felt like a country bumpkin and so out of place, but yes, I did the interview. You're probably going to hate it, but I recorded it so you can relive my horror in surround sound."

Kate had to bite her lip at her friend's self-deprecating rant. She really was too adorable and far too hard on herself. Sure she wasn't trussed up in business dress, but she was casual pretty - her amazing blue eyes and creamy skin a sure distraction from the chaos that was Ana's wardrobe. Something Kate would need to help her fix if she got her dream job at S.I.P.

There was no way Ana would have not got enough of a decent interview from Mr Grey. Kate would bet her inheritance that he would give up his secrets the minute his eyes laid on her baby blues. Ana was completely oblivious to her allure. Her innocent and intelligent personality were just the added bonus to her natural beauty and a killer bod. Kate knew for a fact that Miss Steele had curves like a pin-up and she'd be lying if she didn't say she was a tiny bit jealous of her friend's hourglass figure that she kept mostly hidden under cardigans and jeans.

"_Ana, Ana, Ana_...I'm positive its fine - I'll listen to it later when my ears pop. I'm so full of snot that I feel like it's coming out my ears." She pinched her nose and blew out, keeping her mouth closed like you do when you're on a plane and the air pressure is all messed up. _Nope, nothing, no pop._

"Just summarize for me. How would you sum up Christian Grey in 10 words?" Kate asked Ana nasally, a painful rasp sounding in her throat.

Ana breathed deeply as she tried to relax, blowing the air out as she contemplated her question. The interview and the pensive drive home, her mind whirring with images of the gorgeous powerful man had left her scattered.

"Arrogant. Intimidating. Charismatic. _Unnerving_. Philanthropic. Domineering. _Mysterious_. Private. Strong. _Handsome__." _She folded her fingers over as she counted off his traits_._

"Oh my God, you liked him - I told you you would!" Kate screeched like a bird then broke into a coughing fit.

"I have eyes...what's not to like?" Ana admitted, cringing.

Kate's coughing morphed to laughing - at her expense no less. "I'm glad I amuse you Kate." She said, throwing a cushion at her friend. "Is that what you got from ten words?"

Catching the cushion deftly, Kate leant forward clutching it to her body, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"I too have eyes...I saw the dreamy look on your face when you described Mr 'Eligible Bachelor'. Own up!"

Ana was never comfortable talking about men she was attracted to unless they were on screen or in books. Words on a page to make you imagine or actors playing a part - whether it was the bad guy, the romantic hero or some supernatural slash alien type, they were fantasy men. Men like them didn't really exist, so in her wisdom it was acceptable to fawn over them.

She had little experience with 'real' men, even though plenty of guys flirted with her. Usually they got bored of trying and moved on, which she was perfectly fine with. It wasn't that she wasn't interested _at all_; she was just waiting for the right man. Mr Right you could say.

Feeling flustered and hot under Kate's scrutiny, she gave her friend a pleading look. She knew how inexperienced Ana was and how much of a big deal it was that she found somebody from the real world attractive.

"_Kaaate_." Ana pleaded with her to let it drop, but Kate just crossed her arms and stared her down.

"Fine!" She huffed in annoyance. She rolled her eyes and feigned nonchalance. "He was good-looking, amazingly so like in a GQ model sort of way..." Kate arched a brow, clearly not satisfied with her attempt to be flippant.

"What more do you want to know Kate? He was gorgeous, O.K? I was attracted to him and I think he might have felt the same!" She blurted out.

_Damn Kate_, she could always wheedle the truth out of her. She was going to make a fantastic journalist - her skills at getting people to spill their secrets was awesome. Except in her case, because now Kate would not let her forget it.

"I knew he wasn't gay!" Kate exclaimed triumphantly, fist-pumping the air. That reminded Ana to be mad - that comment had nearly earned her the billionaires wrath.

"Your _question_...you got me to ask it even though you...**ooh**, _you_...**you**!" Ana fumed, clenching her fists in frustration.

Kate fell back against the couch, a large grin on her face although it was plain to see the little bout of excitement was clearly enough in her cold-ridden state.

"Oh Ana, your temper is so _cute_. You know, for an English Lit major your verbal sparring could do with some improvement."

She scowled at her friend and held her face in her hands, her hot cheeks a reminder of how ashamed she was to have asked the question and for her admission of his hothers. Tucking her feet under her and curling into the armchair, she attempted to brush it off.

"It's nothing to get excited about Kate. There's no possible way that a man like Christian Grey would want anything to do with someone like me - I was imagining it." She said shrugging it off. "Anyway, I made an idiot of myself." She continued, shaking her head at her clumsiness.

It was true. He might have flirted a minuscule amount, but he probably did that with everyone - not that he needed to with his looks. He probably had women throwing themselves at him on a daily, if not hourly basis - she'd bet money it was part of his assistants job, fielding calls and visits from wannabe future Mrs Grey's. Sophisticated, beautiful, sexy women who could rock his world. Ana was a poor-ish, virginal literature student who lacked the sophistication he was used to. He might as well be one of those dreamy unobtainable men from the movies or books. An Edward Lewis* or a Mr Darcy*. Relationships like that only happened in stories, not in her life.

_Nope, not going to happen_.

Kate took a swig of the overly sweet linctus that claimed to soothe a sore throat before chastising her friend.

"I know what you're thinking right now missy and I won't let you keep thinking that you're not a total babe! I'm know I'm right right, just look at the way Ethan drools over you! And Paul Clayton and José practically foam at the mouth for you!" Ana cringed at the image.

"Kate! You know I don't think of Ethan or José like that...they're like _brothers _to me. No...just _never_!" She shook her head adamantly and purposefully ignored her comment about her being a babe. _As if_!

"As for Paul Clayton, he's a jock and a moron. He thinks Thomas Hardy is a British actor!" O.K, he is a British actor, but everyone..._everyone_ knew at least one of the classic authors works. Everyone apart from Paul Clayton it seemed.

Paul might be blessed with golden boy looks and physique, but the guy was dumb as a rock. She could only tolerate him in small doses as he was one of those people who majored in idiocy. His mentality was 10 years behind his actual age and he proved that every time he came into his father's store where she worked part-time. His adolescent pranks were usually focussed on her and Kate revelled in telling her that he was like the boy who pulled your pigtails in class. He just didn't know how to talk to her, so used whatever means he knew best to get her attention, even though it made her dislike him.

José on the other hand was definitely in the friend zone even though he clearly was in love with her. Growing up in the company of each others fathers, she'd come to love him like a brother and woefully he knew it. It made her uncomfortable, but she knew he would happily wait in the wings in case she changed her mind. It was tragic but true. He would do anything for her and that made her feel bad.

Ethan on the other hand was one golden boy she could appreciate. His surfer dude looks and happy go lucky personality made her feel relaxed. He could charm the ladies left, right and centre but the problem with Ethan was Kate. The twins looked so much alike that the thought of getting anything on with her best friends brother freaked her out. Plus, there was the added risk of bad feelings from a resulting relationship breakdown, it would hurt Kate _or_ Kate would hurt Ethan. It was a lose-lose situation.

Thankfully, after mulling it over for a minute Kate agreed with her and she breathed a sigh of relief that she could just try to forget the whole ordeal. Ana left Kate with the notes and recording of the interview whilst she threw together the ingredients for some homemade soup for a late lunch. Kate needed comfort food and frankly, so did she.

Later that evening when they both took solace in their rooms, Ana reexamined her interaction with Christian Grey. The whole interview from walking into the building to getting in her car, had been one of the most nerve wracking and intense experiences she'd had to endure. Even more so than her interview for college or for S.I.P.

She'd never admit it to Kate, but she spent hours pouring over Internet articles of Christian Grey until she fell asleep, her laptop still open in her lap. Her friend was right, he was never seen with a woman that wasn't his family or that he wasn't doing business with. Her dreams were littered with images of the mysterious man until the sound of her alarm blaring away, jolted her awake. She only just caught her laptop as it started to slide off the bed, it's screen flickering to life as she scrambled to retrieve it.

Evidence of her night time snooping popped up on screen and she shook her head in shame knowing that fishing through gossip had consisted her bedtime reading. She resolved to read something intellectually stimulating later, something thick and heavy.

It was her last day to work at Claytons Hardware before her and Kate moved to Seattle. Their graduation ceremony was in two days and two days after that, they'd be moving to a shiny new home. Kate's father had bought the new apartment as an investment, it was in a safe district! had decent security and was close to the family newspaper where Kate was going work. Ana hadn't been to see it, but Kate had shown her so many pictures of the interior, she felt like she knew it already.

_Graduation ceremony_. Ana stopped herself as she was now stood brushing her teeth in her bathroom. Looking at her reflection, she realised that she was going to have to see 'him' again. He was presenting and was a key speaker. There would be no avoiding him. _Dammit_.

She resumed her morning routine, reassured by the fact that she'd only get to speak to him for a few seconds as he presented her degree and then she'd be lost in the hundreds of other people there. A flash of disappointment at the thought warred with her inner goddess who thought she should seek him out, dress up for him..._flirt_ with him. _Er, not likely_. What was more likely was that she'd trip up the step walked onto the stage.

'Lo que será, será' as José liked to say. Whatever will be, will be. At least her friends would be there to pick up the pieces, or _her_ \- _literally_.

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Thanks for reading. I hope you like it enough to review.


	2. Chapter 2

A Lighter Shade of Grey - Chapter 2

Christian

* * *

"Fuck!" He hissed to himself as he flung the papers down on his desk, sheaves of vellum scattering untidily over the lacquered oak surface.

He'd been trying to read the same document for the last couple of hours but his mind was elsewhere. The chair where she'd sat leaving nothing behind, yet she lingered like a phantasm - haunting him.

Staring over to the white leather chairs where they'd sat this morning, he replayed their conversation. As soon as she'd walked in the door and he'd looked into those bright topaz eyes and her creamy angelic face, he knew that things were about to change. Every molecule in his body came to life sending a shiver all over his skin. Every move she made caught his eye - even the way she ungracefully pulled herself to her feet after tripping over them, not seconds through his office door.

She'd been nervous, it was radiating through her body language. Intimidated too like many before. But with her... "_Anastasia_." He whispered out loud. With _Anastasia _there had been an innocence and curiosity that lacked wiles or greed or any kind of need. Everybody who came into his domain wanted _something _from him, be it time, money or his body - sometimes all of them.

It was obvious she didn't want to be there, in his office interviewing him with questions not of her own creation. It was also obvious that she moved in different circles to him, from the way she dressed and her lack of knowledge about him. He liked that. _A lot_.

There were only a few other women of his acquaintance or of family that he had felt most at ease with. They wanted nothing from him that would require vulnerability and disclosure and he was happy to oblige. They knew his boundaries and what made him tick - _some more than others_.

Why was it then, that this young woman, so guileless and pure made him want to lay himself open and spill all his innermost secrets and desires?

Anastasia was here to ask about him, but he was intrigued to know about her before she could ask her first question. The way she took in his office, its view, its art and its furniture. He wondered what she intuited from his business domain. Her soft voice was a balm to the polite, tense and angry tones he was used to within these walls.

He knew within the brief time he'd sat a few feet away from her, that she was by far the most alluring woman he'd ever met. His submissives were always attractive, most were slim and athletic. They shared the same features as her; the long brown hair and pale skin but the physical resemblance stopped there. Although she hid it well, he'd spent enough time up close and personal with females to see that under the layers she had a body that would send his pulse racing. But that wasn't all that turned him on - it was their subservience and obedience, be it a natural or trained personality trait that allowed both them to fulfil their base desires. By the time he finished their interview, he was straining to ask her if she partook of his lifestyle, but two things held him back.

Primarily it was due to professionalism. Both his business and his role as Dominant. GEH wasn't the place to ask and negotiate a Dom/sub contract. Secondly, the tiny part of him that was a regular guy - _the angel on his shoulder so to speak_ \- didn't want to scare her off before he'd had a chance to somehow appeal to her, whatever way that might be. This was a grey area to him, no pun intended.

His subs all had stars in their eyes when they saw him and his wealth. They found it hard to hide the fact they were greedy for his wealth, some even went as far as demanding his affection.

THis young woman wasn't a goldigger, a flirt or a social climber. He could tell she'd been attracted to him, that much was obvious. Her blush and averted gaze screamed of innocence and naivety - a heady combination to a man like him.

Anastasia wasn't sexy in the traditional sense, but to his tastes she was ideal. Women often made the mistake of flaunting themselves at him with cleavage, fignore hugging clothes and suchlike. Of course as a man he could be aroused by the sight, but he wasn't roused enough to take action on it. He appreciated the allure of the imagination; fantasizing about what was underneath the clothes. He had a penchant for sexy lingerie outside of his playroom, but inside it, the only thing he'd want his sexual partner to be wearing were restraints and the pink stain of stinging flesh..._plus_ _maybe a blindfold, or nipple clamps_.

Just thinking about Anastasia kneeling naked at his feet, eyes down until he commanded her to look at him, was enough to make himself hard. Knowing that later, when he' was alone with time on his hands, he'll be imagining so much more...

The buzz of his desk phone and Andrea's voice broke his daydream. A conference call he knows will test his patience makes the blood retreat from his groin and bring back some clarity to his distracted mood.

"Misters Shiro and Hizura on line two Mr Grey." His assistant announced through the speaker.

"Thank you Andrea." He answered as he switched between lines to the call from Tokyo.

The usual pleasantries eased their way into the mundane territory of financials and legalities and he find himself reaching for his iPhone. Multitasking, he composed a quick email to his security chief to organise a background check on one Anastasia Steele.

He wanted to see her again, so when he remembered that he'd see her at the graduation ceremony he was quietly ecstatic. The downside would be that his attention wouldn't be able to focus solely on her. Something he'd like to do in a far more erotic way than a brief meet and greet.

If he was really going this route, he needed to know everything he could about her, bar asking her outright.

_In fact, he'll do that too_.

* * *

By late afternoon, Christian was in possession of the personal details of the object of his lust. There wasn't much, but what he did find out was filed away for future reference.

Miss Anastasia Steele was pretty average on paper. Her financial situation was spartan; she had the usual student loans, no credit card, a regular income - albeit small - from Claytons Hardware Store in Portland where she was employed part-time. Her parents were divorced, her mother divorced and married more times than was the norm, with the majority of Anastasia's time spent living with her stepfather Raymond Steele in Montesano. Nothing out of the ordinary to report at home. No concerning debts or criminal activity.

He had her social security number and bank details, employment and education information but it was so lacking in anything he could use to get closer to her.

Mediocre background checks like the one Welch had supplied him for Anastasia were the norm for a person of his standing to conduct. Anastasia had signed an NDA with Andrea before she was allowed into his office, also standard procedure. It wouldn't do for anyone to go prattling to the press about the mundane (or scandalous on occasion) unless he'd specifically given consent.

If he wanted to know more about Anastasia he was going to have to delve deeper. Not only did he feel slightly guilty at the invasion of her privacy, but he hadn't the patience to wait to find out before he met her again. He was an impatient fucker when it came to what he wanted. Like a petulant child he demanded and he wanted it now. He couldn't wait until the graduation to see her again, he felt like he was going out of his mind!

It came to him, like a cartoon lightbulb as he scanned over the email containing Anastasia's particulars. He had a meeting at the University the next afternoon to discuss an agricultural initiative that was close to his heart. He planned to have a meeting, a tour and then stay overnight at the Heathman ready for the graduation ceremony the next day. The window of opportunity was small, but enough.

He could call her roommate in the morning, whose number had been with the interview appointment details. He'd ask her if she had all the information she needed and sneakily find out where Anastasia was. He didn't care if it was akin to stalking - when he wanted something, _or someone in Anastasia's case_ \- he went after it.

At 5pm an alert on his phone reminded him that he had scheduled dinner with Elena at the Mile High club in a couple of hours, something that he could well do without in his current state of mind. His former Domme wouldn't let him hear the end of it if he cancelled her again; she had some financial concerns to discuss with him regarding the salon chain he partnered her in.

As much as Elena liked to turn their business dinners into social ones, Christian was becoming tired of her clinginess, not to mention the irregularities in her accounting. She would text him relentlessly whenever he took too long deciding upon a new submissive she'd recommend to him, or would hint that he could take his frustrations out on her whenever he was tense and between submissives.

He mused how the tables had turned in their relationship. Switching from submissive to dominant had been a natural progression for him after so long under Elena's tutelage. She'd resorted to becoming more sadistic as time went by; a development that slowly turned him off.

She'd been the one to suggest training him, volunteering herself for his use. They started out fine, but ultimately he found his desire to punish the times she'd pushed him too far, the cause of his restraint slipping with her. She'd needed to safe word once too many times, leaving them no choice but to introduce a fresh new third party. Elena had stood by, guiding her protégé as he learned the skills of BDSM from the other side.

He wasn't naive, well maybe with the exception of his 15 year old self a dozen years ago, even as a submissive - although it took a few years to realise. He knew that Elena's methods were more sadistic and detached than traditional dom/sub relationships.

Whenever they went to a club, he would see first hand how close or caring the relationships _could_ be. He witnessed many a dominant care for their submissive after a scene, the bond between them something that intrigued him, even if it didn't appeal to him. He didn't want that with Elena - he knew he _couldn't _have that with a submissive - but he knew that it _was _possible.

He'd known even before Elena whipped it into him, that love wasn't in their futures - that anything other than the lifestyle they had wasn't possible for them. There wasn't even any point in imagining it - he couldn't have a traditional 'vanilla' relationship - he was far too fucked up for that shit.

His buzz waned as he reminisced, but he'd get it back on tomorrow. Elena would sense his mood, bloodhound that she was, but he wouldn't taint his meeting Anastasia by discussing it with Elena. He knew she wouldn't approve of him connecting from outside of their select circle.

He imagined how she'd laugh if he told her he hoped to seduce Anastasia into training to be his submissive. She'd laugh even harder when he told her he'd only just met her - and for less than an hour at that. What pinched at his psyche though, was the fact she'd be right.

He hated that part of him was concerned that Anastasia would outright reject him - he didn't know what he'd do then, he'd not prepared for a negative outcome. If there was one thing Christian Grey didn't like - it was being told no.

But 'no' was a challenge he was willing to accept.

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Thanks so much for reading. I hope you liked it enough to review. X


	3. Chapter 3

A/N - Thank you so much to those that have reviewed or chosen to follow, I really, really appreciate all your comments. I wanted to get this out sooner, but like a lot of parents this time of year, have had poorly kids who've kindly shared their germs and made me sick! The only thing that's better than decongestant at this moment, is of course, the prospect of going to see the FSOG movie Friday night. I AM SO EXCITED. I've been on Instagram pouring over the gorgeous images of the movie there. Oh Jamie, please can I have some of your bedside manner? A close second to seeing the movie would be some lovely reviews to boost me to write ch4 - cheeky I know.

Thanks again.

Subs X

* * *

A Lighter Shade of Grey - Chapter 3

* * *

Anastasia

Ana was busy re-spooling thirty metres worth of natural filament rope, the exertion causing a light sheen of perspiration on her body and face as she pulled and wound. Some delightful unsupervised child thought it would be fun to unravel it all over the store, obviously bored of hanging out for too long amongst the boring paints and fixings.

It was getting knotted and caught as she collected it, so she wound it over her shoulder, holding the loose end in her palm as she looped. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she looked up and into the stormy eyes of someone she thought would never shop in a store like this - Mr Christian Grey.

His eyes moved from hers to her bound arm, weighed down with the sisal and she was sure she saw something cross his features as he looked at her. Anger? Annoyance? _Desire_? Who knows?

"Mr Grey, w...what are _you_ doing here?" As her question came out of her mouth, she realised how rude she sounded and before he could answer, she apologised. Of course he could come here if he wanted, but why? Didn't he have minions to do his DIY?

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me. How can I be of service Sir?" A welcoming smile finishing her words. His eyes glinted, but the small smile she saw alleviated any annoyance or anger she thought he felt.

"Miss Steele..." He started, walking closer to her. Close enough to make her look up. He was dressed casually, even though he still looked gorgeously turned out. She'd wager there wasn't a stitch of the Gap anywhere on his body. _Don't think about his body...no, not thinking about it...even though it's in touching distance._

"_Please_, it's Anastasia..._Ana_ if you like." _Me_, she thought brazenly. Her heart pounded in her chest as he moved even closer as his hand reached to take the weight from her shoulder.

He looked her in the eye and just like before, there was the buzz she felt in his office when he shook her hand. _Chemistry_.

"I was in the area and thought I'd pop in...to see _you_. Let me help with that. You look a little _tied up_." She chuckled. Did Christian Grey just crack a joke? The humour in his tone was playful but his smile was downright naughty. It caused her to falter as she realised that he was flirting with her.

His wicked smile was far more welcome than his business face and dammit if it didn't make him even more attractive. She smiled back at him, pleased with his now relaxed features and his open demeanour.

"Ah-ha, good one. Thanks for helping, collecting all this up is _bound_ to take ages on my own."

Her intentional play on words seemed to amuse him as his eyes danced with delight as she picked up the rope and continued winding it around his outstretched arms.

"People really should _restrain_ their kids if they're going to misbehave." She giggled at his continuance of what was beginning to be her most enjoyable at work so far. Who would've guessed she'd spend her last day here trading bondage innuendo with Mr Billionaire?

"I'm out." She said, both for bondage adjectives and of actual rope. It was all wound up on his strong arms and she delighted in seeing his muscles strain under the weight. He acted like it weighed nothing at all but she could see the sinews of his neck taut with effort.

He placed the rope down at her feet; she pulled the winding handle out and started to feed the rope back in using her hand to keep it uniform as it spooled back neatly.

Christian Grey was watching her wind rope and enjoying their bondage innuendo, at work in her jeans and flannel shirt. Could this situation be any more bizarre? Apparently it could, as he chose the moment she wiped her brow to ask her to get coffee with him.

"You want to go for coffee, with _me_?" She asked incredulously. Then blurted "but...I don't like coffee."

He seemed unperturbed by her negativity and disbelief though. "Yes _you_ Anastasia. I'm positive the cafe I passed nearby has beverages other than coffee. I'm sure I can find something to satisfy you." Oh boy, he was still doing it. Flirting with her, that was. He made everything sound so sexy. Her chest fluttered with the thrill.

Rope and non-coffee products aside, she was still a bit flustered that he asked. 'I mean, it's only a drink but I'm sure that he doesn't just go around asking random girls for coffee - does he?' she mused.

No...her guilty research proved that he was very private. No paparazzi shots of him with females in Starbucks or suchlike. She must have been taking too long to reply, or look like she was about to say no as he asked again.

"Please Anastasia. Would you do me the honour of accompanying you on your break?" She was flattered at the flowery invitation. How'd he know she was going on her break soon?

"How'd you know I was due a break?" She asked, puzzled. It couldn't be a coincidence. She bet he had spies find out for him. He seemed like the type who wanted to know everything. _Control Freak_.

"I asked your manager. When I couldn't see you straight away, he directed me down here. Its lunchtime, surely you need to eat." His charming smile and the idea that a man such as him took time out to see her was making her all weak-kneed, pushing the niggling question of how he knew she worked here, to the back of her mind.

Feeling braver than she did yesterday and with Kate's reassurance that she hadn't made a complete fool of herself in the interview, she took a second to consider his offer. Outside of his office, he seemed less intimidating - but still enough to make her cautious, a touch playful even flirtatious. The helpful gentlemanly behaviour won him extra points too, so she chose to take the plunge and accept his invitation. Why not? It was just lunch.

"I'd like that Mr Grey, thank you." He beamed at her and she couldn't help think how boyish it made him look. Boyishly handsome.

"Wonderful, do you need to do anything before we leave?" He asked considerately.

"Actually, I need to just get cleaned up - I'm a little sweaty from heaving all that rope. I'll be a few minutes and meet you outside?" His eyes roamed down to the v-neck of her shirt where her skin was flushed. He made no effort to hide his appraisal of her and she blushed even harder as she realised he liked the thought of her sweaty. _Oh my_.

He nodded tightly. "I'll wait for you." He watched her walk away; she could feel his eyes on her but didn't have the nerve to sway her hips a la Kate. Flirting didn't come naturally to her, but she was learning fast even though it seemed she really didn't have to try with Mr Grey.

Ana darted into the staff bathrooms and splashed some cold water on her face, sure that the temperature would banish some of her rosiness. It was an inconvenient side effect that advertised her sensitivity nature and one that was provoked just being in Mr Grey's presence.

She quickly took off her sweaty shirt and wet some hand towels to wipe herself down. It wasn't just the exertion that caused her flush, it was the way his eyes devoured her. Grabbing a clean t-shirt with the store logo on it, she covered up and redid her ponytail, smoothing it down as best she could. It was kind of wild, with natural waves that she rarely bothered to tame. Occasionally Kate had straightened it for her and it had looked amazing, but for everyday she just couldn't see the point.

She dug around in her bag for some lip balm, coating her lips in cherry scented moisture. She didn't have a scratch of makeup on, but there was no time - not that she had any with her anyway, it wasn't really needed in a place like Clayton's.

Dashing back out, she grabbed her denim jacket from the peg and was struggling to get her arms through the sleeves as she exited the staff area. She stopped in her tracks as she bumped into someone, only realising it was Christian when they were practically nose to nose.

"I'm so sorry, I should look where I'm going..." Her hands pushed against his chest to move away but his hands wrapped around her wrists as he looked at her with pained intensity.

His hold was almost painful and she watched his throat as he swallowed with obvious difficulty, then released her wrists as he pulled them down to her sides.

"Are you OK Mr Grey...?" She asked tentatively, concerned that she'd hurt him. He looked a little uncomfortable as she squeezed one of his hands in the hold that still held hers, albeit much gentler than before.

A few seconds passed and he seemed to come back to himself. He ran his thumb over her skin before releasing her completely and taking a step back.

"I'm fine...and it's _Christian_ to you Anastasia. Come, let's go." He said with command holding his arm out for her to lead the way. _Bossy_!

They walked down the sidewalk of the fairly quiet street side by side. The Portland Coffee House was only a couple of minutes away, but getting out into the fresh air and early summer. She noticed that a guy dressed in a black suit was following them, he'd been so from the moment they left the store. She surmised he must be Christian's security detail.

As she glanced back, Christian noticed and followed her gaze. "He's with me, my personal security. Taylor goes everywhere I go, we never know what trouble I'll come across. Better safe than sorry."

Ana nodded in agreement. The can of mace and the rape alarm in her bag that Ray insisted she take everywhere, accounted for it.

"Very wise. Have you ever been in a situation where he had to step in?" She wondered how dangerous his life was. We're there people out to get him, or was it just for show? She doubted that - Christian didn't seem vain or egotistical, arrogant maybe but he really had reason to be.

"You're safe, if that's what you're worried about. But to answer your question, there have been a few times over the years, mostly overzealous paps though. Nothing exciting." His brow furrows a little at the admission which makes her think there's something he's not open to sharing.

Ana nodded in understanding, she'd seen all the gossip rag photos after all. "So, no heartbroken exes, gold diggers or irate husbands then?" She doesn't know where such boldness comes from but he looks amused at her sassiness.

He shakes his head ruefully and turns to her, stopping them in the middle of the street. "Cheeky. No Anastasia, none of that...I don't do the girlfriend thing." He looks at her intently as if he's trying to get her to read his mind.

His admission takes her breath away and she swallows uncomfortably. No girlfriends? She's confused. What is his ploy then? She really must be more naive than she realises, because in her limited experience, the flirting and the hungry gazes were giving her the impression he was attracted to her.

"You don't date then?" Of course he doesn't. It was one of Kate's facts about him, the one that led to the stupid question about his sexuality.

He turns and holds her by the elbow caused her to stop in her tracks. "Not that this is the right time or place to be having this conversation..." He looks around as if checking we have an audience. "But since you ask - no, I don't date."

_Then why is he flirting with me? Taking me out?_

In the space of a minute since they stopped, the penny drops. He doesn't date or want a girlfriend, she doubts he's into just befriending women. He's never seen with anyone. She doesn't know what to make of him or what he wants from her.

"Oh...I see." Disappointment is sure what he sees on her face now and she looks down to hide it. As much as he's way out of her league, she with the rest of the female population wouldn't turn down the chance.

His finger raises her chin to allow him to look at her. "Do you?"

Those hungry eyes are back and it's clear, even to a novice like her that he likes her..._lusts_ for her. A thrill races through her at the thought and she breaks out in goosebumps. She's glad she out her jacket on to hide the obvious peaks she's sporting under the thin cotton of her uniform t-shirt.

She doesn't know what to say and now her nerves are fried, she flounders. His eyes roam her face for answers, as if he's expecting her to say "I'd like you to fuck me now please Mr Grey", but that's so not going to happen.

"I'm hungry." She looks at him, hoping to get them moving again, anything but confusing a very awkward conversation that swerved way too far into personal territory for her liking.

She'd met the guy once, interviewed him and then he helps her at her work, offers to take her for coffee and not so subtly flirts with her but admits to 'doing the girlfriend thing'. That only leaves _sex_. Is that what he's after? Just sex, not dating or a relationship. _Unbelievable_!

The mention of her hunger brings draws him back out of their bubble and they start to walk again. Her mind is a whirl - she's both flattered and offended at the conclusion she's come to and she can't help her frown. She can't look at him, instead focussing on looking ahead concentrating hard to avoid his penetrating gaze on the side of her face. She's confused with his bluntness and how it jars with his professional persona. She's annoyed with herself for not just coming out and asking what his deal is.

They reach the little coffee shop and Christian stops her for a moment whilst Taylor steps in to check the place out. He's back within a minute and motioning for them to proceed whilst he takes a seat at the counter. There only a couple of people sitting, most customers waiting in the take out line. Christian ushers her over to a booth, his hand low on her back the touch sending a shiver down her spine.

She moves to take off her jacket, and then thinks better of it before taking a seat and clasping her hands in front of her nervously. They both look at the laminated menu briefly before the waitress comes over to take their order. The older woman eyes Christian with barely concealed admiration, but stops short of flirting with him. He ignores her longing gaze to ask her what she's having.

She's suddenly queasy but orders anyway, knowing she can always pack it up to take back with her - eat it when he's gone and not scrutinising her.

"I'll have the turkey salad sub with mayo and an Earl Grey tea please, bag out."

"You like tea." Christian states obviously, cocking his head. He asks as if it's been a question that's been bothering him since they met. Talk about mood swings, the conversation so easily darts between relationships and beverages.

Oblivious to the waitress she replies. "Yes, I'm not a fan of coffee." He smiles with mirth. She knew it would amuse him, the name of the tea.

"I'll have the same but with a black coffee please." He smiles nonchalantly at the waitress, a polite dismissal she notes.

They sit facing each other and she has no clue what to say to him now. She smiles and look to the window briefly before turning back to meet his gaze. Thankfully he broke the silence.

"I didn't answer your question...the one from earlier." She frowns, not recalling an unanswered question.

"_Why I'm here_. I'm staying in town for a couple of days. I'm meeting with the agricultural department of the university to discuss a project GEH is working on. Plus, there's the small matter of your graduation."

It's not just her graduation, but the way he said it was like he was going for her. He's focussed on her and she feels like a mouse in the kestrels stare. She feels the thrill again but also the fear that she's the mouse.

"Yes, _graduation_. I hear you're giving a speech." She starts to worry her lip self-consciously as she sees him taking in her features.

"That's right. Are you going out to celebrate afterwards?" Huh? Why is he suddenly so interested in where she's going afterwards?

"I am..._we_ are actually. Kate, our friend José and I are going our usual hangout near campus, then who knows?" She shrugs. Kate has he evening planned out and Ana will just go with the flow.

His jaw clenches at the mention of José for some reason. But there's also something in his gaze that makes her think he wants to be invited. She ignores it. They're relative strangers, not even friends really. It's beside the point, as she knows he'd not accept even if was appropriate to ask him.

Their food arrives and the focus moves to that. Even though she's lost her appetite, the thought of stuffing her face in front of him makes her self-conscious. She nibbles at her sub, breaking small pieces off with her fingers. Surprisingly Christian eats as if somebody is about to take his plate and his sub is gone in several bites. He's been watching her whilst she eats like a mouse, his eyes narrowed for some reason.

"Are you not hungry Anastasia?" He asks her, disapproval obvious in his tone.

_I'm not a child! _ She barks internally, suddenly over-sensitive. "Not anymore. I lost my appetite." she snaps, annoyed at his questioning.

"Is the food not to your liking...I hope it's nothing I've done?" His disapproving gaze turns concerned and she can't help but feel bad for snapping.

"I...you make me nervous." She blurts out, the hot flush on her cheeks burning with embarrassment. _And you're confusing as hell!_

His brows rise at her candour. "I apologise if I've made you feel that way. Why do I make you nervous?"

Ana meets his gaze; he really does have such pretty eyes. She thinks for a moment, contemplating what to say without being rude. "You're so..._so_." She gestures to him trying to get him to understand.

_Blunt, sexy, scary_?

"So _what_ Anastasia?" He's enjoying this. _Why does he keep using my full name when I've told him to call me Ana!_

_Because you told him to call you Ana...if he likes you! But he doesn't want to be your friend you idiot, he just wants in your panties!_

"Such an enigma - an _intimidating_ enigma." She wants to add 'gorgeous' but that sounds even less appropriate than what she's already said.

He doesn't look surprised, but his face sombre. "I'm not used to conversations like this. I'm...I don't usually flirt with women - my tastes are very singular." The look he gives her is downright leery. "As for intimidating you, I can assure you it's not my intention."

She wonders what he means by 'singular' but is too afraid to ask. _He's so mercurial_. Gentlemanly one minute and so intensely sexy the next. The ambiguity of his statement about flirting and his tastes makes her mind boggle. She's not experienced enough to accurately interpret his behaviour or his interest in her beyond his implied words.

She nods her head in acceptance of his apology and makes an effort to eat and take sips of her tea. He's so distant and yet he seems to want something from her. She glances at him occasionally through her lashes and each time catch him watching her. His finger traces his lip and she can't help but watch for a second as he drags it back and forth. It's almost sexual.

"You mentioned at the interview that you're moving to Seattle after graduation." She nods in confirmation.

"Yes, at the weekend. Kate's father has bought her an apartment and we're going to continue rooming together. Well, sharing an apartment." She prattles nervously.

"Whereabouts is the apartment?" He asks her casually.

"Some really swanky building - _Escala_ I think it's called. It's only a two bed, so not as big as some of the apartments there." That reminds Ana she needs to organise getting her mail forwarded.

"That's the building I live in...what a happy coincidence." His beatific smile is infectious as she grins too. Partly out of shock that she was going to be living in the same building as a billionaire, but there was also the trepidation that came with knowing that it made it more likely he would continue whatever game he was playing with her.

"Wow, yes well maybe we'll run into each other in the elevator." She comments nervously.

He shook his head with a rueful smile. "Unfortunately for me the penthouse has a private elevator..._shame_." He leans forward into her personal space, those bright eyes catching mine. "So, there'll be no spontaneous trysts in elevators to look forward too."

Ana swallowed thickly, unable to answer but immensely turned on at the suggestion. _Phew it was hot in here? _

"Perhaps when you're settled, you'd like to see the view from my floor?" She's stunned to silence for a moment. That sounds like suspiciously like a date, but also alludes to something sexual.

The thought was as frightening as it was appealing. A double edged sword. She was totally out of her element here. She didn't want to flirt back, especially if he was only interested in a conquest. She wasn't going to let her first time be something so empty, even if the thought of having sex with him made her insides clench and tingle. Ever since high school she'd resolved that attraction alone would never be enough for her, she would hold out for the gift of something deeper and meaningful. Her mother's three failed marriages reinforcing that lust was fleeting and meaningless.

"I need to be getting back...I have some er, errands to run before my break is over." She wiped her fingers on a napkin and moved to stand. She delved in her bag to get money for the bill, but he stood up and his hand reached over to stop her.

He looked taken aback at her reaction, confused maybe. "Allow me Anastasia." His tone brooked no argument.

"Ok, well thank you for lunch." She didn't have the will to argue the offer and it would be rude and ungrateful of her to argue over something so small, it wasn't as if he was a struggling student.

She asked the waitress to pack up her leftover lunch, which she placed in a brown paper bag. He gestured for her to leave first, his hand on the small of her back sending a thrill up her spine as the exited the coffee shop and moved onto the sidewalk.

She started to say her goodbye, but he interrupted her. "May I walk you back to the store?" See, he could be gentlemanly.

_Yes, but he alluded to fucking you in the elevator of your apartment building not minutes ago!_

"Fine." She snipped before adding "thank you" more sincerely. Her reply was unintentionally curt and she regretted it the moment it came out. She wasn't ever rude or nasty so she was ashamed that her inner monologue provoked her.

_Who was mercurial now? _

She was lost in her thoughts as they walked in silence and didn't notice the cyclist until he clipped her arm, spinning her into her companion. Once again they were chest to chest, only inches between them. In her shock she barely registered the heat of his gaze, but was brought around when his fingers brushed her cheek.

"Are you ok?" Christian asked her softly, his concern apparent.

As she nodded in reply, she couldn't help but look to his lips. It was one of those movie moments where the couple would kiss and she couldn't help but lick her lips in anticipation.

But the moment didn't come as she was set back rightly on her feet. A wave of disappointment washed over her, the supposed attraction fizzling out and nearly bringing tears to her eyes. She bit her tongue to divert the emotion, not wanting to get stupidly emotional in front of him.

They were nearly outside the store now, so she made to leave before he could see the hurt in her eyes. He was so flirty with her, but missed the moment to kiss her. Only solidifying the opinion that all he wanted was a quick empty fuck.

"Goodbye Christian." She smiled weakly and looked down to his shoes, not able to meet his eyes. She turned and hurried into the store, barely hearing him as she left.

"Goodbye Anastasia, I'll see you soon."

She felt the wash of conflicting emotions force the tears to her eyes, hotly spilling down her cheeks unseen by him or anyone else.

The thrill of seeing him again was tainted with the knowledge that it would be the last time. She didn't know why this bothered her so much, why his words and his behaviour stung far too deeply for such a fleeting encounter.

Stopping abruptly, she turned back to check he'd gone but there he was, staring after her. Hands in the pockets of his pants, his head cocked to the side. She met his gaze and he began to smile at her, only for it to disappear quickly as his eyes found the glistening tracks of her tears.

A frown formed between his brows, the puzzled face oblivious to the maelstrom of emotions overtaking her body. Oblivious to the fact that for the first time in her life, she'd experienced the endorphin rush that comes with intense attraction, only for it to be unrequited.

His lips opened soundlessly questioning her reaction. She shook her head, not knowing how to answer him without revealing too much - how much she simultaneously wanted him and wanted to push him away.

Turning again she walked away once more, resigned to the fact he'd got under her skin deeply - too deeply for her comfort and she'd have to live with that until it faded.

* * *

Christian watched as she turned back pleased that she'd wanted to see him again. Her reaction earlier had confused him. He found flirting not so hard as he'd imagined, it felt natural with her and he couldn't stop himself - the undeniable attraction he felt proved that. It was unusual for him to have to work so hard or at all and Anastasia seemed to close off as he continued with hints of his intentions and for once in his life he didn't know how to deal with it.

The same could be said as he saw her tears. _Why was she crying? _

It stung sharply in his chest at the thought she was crying over him and he didn't know why. They'd just said goodbye...then he realised that moment she'd been in his arms that they had come so close to kissing. He never kissed his subs; in fact he could confidently say that he'd never kissed any woman romantically, including the first kiss that Elena laid on him as a fifteen year old boy. He didn't know what do in that situation - he knew how women's bodies ticked, but not their minds.

The moment of clarity had him wondering if she had really liked him despite her reaction to his approach. It was dangerous territory, engaging somebody he suspected wanted more than a purely sexual arrangement. Territory that was unknown to him and that he'd not wanted to enter into.

Realising that he'd have to cross that border if he wanted to pursue Anastasia he watched her walk away again. He'd seen the flash of hurt and the disappointment in her eyes enough to realise she'd wanted that connection with him. He couldn't allow himself to be so open, he wasn't the loving kind but knew that Anastasia was - it was written all over her face before she walked away.

It may not be the last they see of each other, but he knew he had to keep his distance if he wanted to stay sane.

He turned to walk back to his car, uncharacteristically unaware of his surroundings as the strangest emotion washed over him. The people, the buildings and his eyes were unfocused as the memory of her tears haunted him in the most inexplicable way. The only other instance of this feeling was from his nightmares; the fleeting memories of his birth mother in lucid, happier times. The realisation brought him up short as he blinked and became aware of standing on the sidewalk next to his car, Taylor holding the door open for him.

There was no way he could allow himself to feel that emotion again. He didn't even feel it with his family, with Grace even. He couldn't deny he felt something for his adoptive mother though - albeit a watered down version. He shrugged the feeling away, what the fuck was wrong with him? He needed to get a grip and stop over thinking things, regain control.

He knew he had to keep his distance if he wanted to stay sane and in control. The problem was the devil on his shoulder who taunted that _not _seeing her may have the same effect.

The proof of his prided control would be tested to the max and he snorted at the ridiculous notion that this small, brown haired girl could bring him to his knees.

No way, no how. _He _was master of his universe, _not _her or any other woman or man alive would have dominion over him.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed - please review if you liked!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Ok, first things first, a massive thank you to those who've reviewed. I really appreciate your comments and get v excited when I see a review. Some of you were asking about Ana's stepfathers - there won't be anything sinister from them but maybe from someone else. Also asked was if Ana is going to be strong - she will but she's also young and I remember the allure and thrill of an older or sexy man such as Christian. She'll make him work for it and won't take any shit (like the movie there's no nagging to eat). Any more q's about the direction this is taking pls PM me.

Secondly, I went to see the movie last night and should have realised it wouldn't go smoothly being Friday 13th. Don't get me wrong, I loved the movie so much I want to see it again. Jamie and Dakota were amazing and it was OMG sexy, it made it difficult to sleep I had JD in the playroom on my mind. They did an excellent job as the couple and the red room was amazing. Stellar job to Sam TJ. Amelia Warner is one lucky lady!

But and this is the killer, I thought you might like to hear about. The cinema I went to is in a bit of a dodgy town, one that you wouldn't choose to shop in or go for the day if you know what I mean. I expected it to be a bit excitable with a cinema full of horny women, but what I didn't expect was the immaturity and downright scumminess of the audience. You'd think we were watching Magic Mike. There was so much cackling and talking (through the film) and then some stupid woman threw up because she was pissed off her face on vodka she'd been slipping into her coke. She threw up over a couple of people in front resulting in an uproar and lots of shouting. The film ended up being paused just as Christian is taking Ana into the playroom for their first romp. To cut a long story short, film got rewound 10 mins and we got a free ticket which I intend to use on a night its not full of groups of women who aren't mature enough to not get pissed and giggle at every piece of nudity - there's a lot (I was surprised). All that and someone knocked my full cup of coke over the floor before I'd even touched it. I should have taken it as a sign.

Anyway, I hope your own experiences of the movie were better than mine, even though I loved it. I'd love to hear from you about what you thought. Personally I can't wait for the next movie and the release of this one to dvd.

Please pop me a review if you like this chapter - it's a bit silly in places (I'm paying homage to the movie where Ana actually acts like a 22yr old and has SOH) but its got to be done for the morning after scene.

Laters Baby!

* * *

Ana spent the rest of her workday questioning every lingering look, every word they said to each other and every touch. She was pathetic.

She sighed, disheartened by the whole episode. What had started as light-hearted flirting turned into a giant brush-off. She chastised herself for her romantic ideals. The images and fantasies in her mind were nothing like her and Christian's encounter. They were much simpler to analyse. Boy meets girl, they connect, one thing leads to another and then the 'happy ever after'.

She wanted it to be something more from the moment he asked her to lunch and was bereft at his casual attitude towards something she hoped for.

There was no use dwelling on what couldn't be - she was intelligent enough to realise how stupid it was to want to romanticize what could be. She needed to shake off this odd feeling before she got home. Kate's radar for gossip, scandal or lies was unparalleled; she'd know that Ana was hiding something before she opened her mouth.

Luckily for her, she left Clayton's with minimum fuss made about her leaving the place she'd worked part time during her college years. She was doubly lucky that when she got home, Kate was out - a hastily written note had been left on the side table next to their key bowl. Ana would have the apartment to herself for a few hours before her roommate returned with dinner from the Turkish restaurant a hop skip and a jump away.

That night sleep came restlessly interspersed with fractured dreams. Intense grey eyes and a sensual mouth were all she could see as they came close enough to kiss, only to evaporate before it happened. The smiles, the heated way he looked at her and the nearly kiss were on endless repeat until her body finally succumbed to exhaustion.

Kate had quizzed her last night after Ana admitted to Christian coming into the store. The reluctance to tell her everything made her feel guilty for not sharing with her friend, but the shame of the rejection stung too much to repeat, so she left that part out. Vagueness wasn't satisfying for Kate but she'd have to live with it. That was until the delivery came.

Kate answered the door and accepted a small wrapped bundle from the delivery guy.

"Ana, it's for you." She called out reading aloud a card with a quote from her favourite Thomas Hardy novel.

"It's...it's from _Christian_." Ana undid the muslin wrapped with a ribbon to find three novels - first editions. She sucked in a breath at the thought of how much these must have cost. A twinge of unease at being given such an expensive gift by a man who said he wasn't interested in having a girlfriend. Tucked inside the page where the quote was lifted was his business card - his private cell phone and email details printed in silver.

"And the quote, that's from Tess of the D'Urbervilles isn't it?" Kate asked hesitantly. "_Why_?"

Ana didn't know how to answer as she was just as puzzled. Was he warning her away again? Why send a gift as a warning? If he wasn't interested then why bother at all?

Blowing out a breath, she shook her head. "I don't know Kate...I _really _don't. I do know that I can't accept them - it's not appropriate considering…" _Considering he doesn't want me_. She wanted to add.

From Kate's inquisitive look she knew her friend wanted more of an explanation but she didn't press it. There was no more time to dwell on it anyway as they had to get ready to head to campus for graduation.

* * *

Seeing Ray was a real comfort and she hugged him for the longest time before they had to assemble for the presentation and the speeches. The auditorium was buzzing with excited voices, some of which were more excited about a certain visiting speaker than their degrees.

As Christian stood at the podium, she could see his eyes rove the captive audience with practised ease. Seeing him was both exhilarating and bittersweet. The passionate way he spoke about projects that mattered to him profoundly, his confidence and striking handsomeness had more than her sighing wistfully.

Her breath caught though as his eyes found hers and held them hypnotically, not even breaking his speech as the intensity of his stare caused a deep flush. It was too much in front of so many people so she looked down for a moment and when she looked up again, he'd thankfully moved his attention to the rest of the auditorium.

It seemed to take forever to get through the alphabetized line of students waiting to go up on stage. Ana was excited until she realised that after being presented with her degree, she'd have to shake hands with the source of her bad dreams. Swallowing, she smiled and walked to him and shook his hand, just as all the others had done.

"Miss Steele, it's good to see you again. Congratulations." He looked like he wanted to say more but there was no time as the next name was announced.

"Thank you Christian." Was all she had time for as pulled her hand out of his before hurrying off stage.

* * *

Ana and Kate were talking with Ray and Kate's parents over a glass of celebratory champagne when she heard the voice that had haunted her dreams the previous night. A gentle hand to her elbow caused her to turn to him.

"Anastasia...there you are." She smiled nervously; surprised that he'd sought her out. Not knowing what to say was easy as he and Kate filled in the conversation for her without anyone the wiser to her discomfort than maybe Kate.

"Mom, Dad, Ray this is Christian Grey, Ana's _friend_." The emphasis on 'friend' nearly made me groan out loud as I rolled my eyes at Kate. Christian seemed unfazed as he shook hands with the parents.

He'd met Kate's father before at some business functions, her father being a newspaper magnate. Ray eventually picked up on the tension, his eyes moving between hers and Christian's.

"So Annie, how long have you two known each other?" The insinuation in his voice was clear. He thought something was going on between us. Even with a little distance, Ray knew her so well.

"Er…a, um…" She was lost for words as she struggled to answer the simple question. It wasn't the 'how long' but the knowing each other. They didn't really know each other nor were even friends for that matter. She was rescued by Christian and was thankful for the attention to be off her.

"I met Anastasia just recently when she interviewed me for the school newspaper." It was vague enough to put an end to the question and move the conversation to Kate's budding journalistic career.

As Kate's family chattered away, Ray's attention was diverted as he talked easily with them having known her roommate for the last four years, Christian leant close to her ear, invading her personal space.

"Anastasia, may I talk to you privately?" His eyes beseeched her, the need in them burning with intent that she couldn't speak, only being able to nod her acquiescence.

She felt his hand grab hers to pull her away only giving her enough time to hold up a finger to Ray, who'd glanced over at her movement, signalling that she'd be back in a minute.

Allowing herself to be towed like a child through a crowd, she followed Christian out into a formal garden where the crowd was considerably thinner. Moving over the lawn towards a decorative pond area where they stopped and he let go of her hand. Slightly annoyed at being taken away from the bosom of her friends and family she wanted to demand answers and address the inappropriate book gift.

"Christian, what's going on? Why the need to drag me off and get me alone?" She questioned testily.

His eyes roamed her face, the narrowing of his eyes an indication that he was affected by her tone. "Did you get my gift?"

Is that what he wanted, 'thanks' for the gift? She pursed her lips, taking a moment to calm herself. "Yes I did and thank you - but I can't accept them."

"Why not?" He snapped causing her to flinch. He looked briefly contrite before continuing. "They are for you Anastasia, a small token of congratulations on your graduation. _You will accept them_."

_Small token?_ She wasn't naive, they must have cost thousands - even if he could afford it a million times over it was still over the top. Ana levelled his stare, indignant at the order but also realising that this was a conversation for another time..._or not at all_. She was sending them back whether she had to take them into his office and personally dump them in his lap. She didn't understand why he sent them in the first place - flowers maybe or a bottle of wine especially as a way of apologising for hurting her feelings - if he realised he'd done that.

"Why?" She asked. "Why _those _books and why send me anything at all...you kind of made it clear you weren't interested in me the other day." It stung to say it out loud.

He seemed to having some internal battle as he clenched his fists and shook his head. "I never said I wasn't interested Anastasia."

_What? _"I...don't understand, you said…" He reached up putting a finger to her lips, stopping her from continuing.

"I know what I said and that hasn't changed but…" Ana pushed away his finger angrily but he grabbed her wrist equal fire in his eyes as hers. _What the hell?_

"Let go of me, I need to get back inside." Her assertive tone belies the contradictory feelings of fear and lust that rushed over her. She held his gaze, biting her lip to stifle her feelings.

She felt the grip loosen on her wrist and trace where he'd gripped her. Chancing a look at him, eyes wide and his breathing ragged she saw what she interpreted as guilt. He brought her wrist up to his mouth and kissed the tender skin of her pulse that was slightly reddened before dropping it and suddenly getting to his feet.

"My apologies, I'll go. Congratulations again Anastasia." With one last lingering look he took off in the direction of the summer house where the celebrations were.

She once again felt the brim of tears but refused to let them fall on a day that was meant to be full of joy. She felt hot and bothered and even more confused. Making sure he wasn't in sight, she walked toward the side entrance where the ladies room was located hoping to freshen up.

It took a few minutes before she emerged again enough to face her previous company. Ray and Kate both gave her questioning glances, she shook her head and so she wouldn't have to explain in front of Kate's parents.

With their goodbyes to their parents and promises of phone calls when they are settled into their new apartment, Ana shared a little of what had happened with Christian, breaking down in tears as to why his behaviour bothered her so much.

Kate knew that Ana was inexperienced and hadn't navigated the dating minefield at all. "Don't you give him another thought honey, you'll not have to see him again and if you do, and he's got any sense he'll throw himself at your feet."

Ana had to laugh at that image. Christian Grey begging! She couldn't imagine he'd ever had to get on his knees or suck up to anyone.

"Come on, let's get ready - we're gonna celebrate..._hard_." She hugged Kate and thanked her for being such a good friend.

"You can make it up to me by letting me play Barbie with you…" Her friend grinned mischievously before she grabbed her iPod and the infectious beats of Beyoncé came blasting out of the speakers.

There was no use fighting it, or the push up bra, skin tight jeans and make-up she knew was going to be her armour tonight.

* * *

The bar was heaving with like minded souls out to blow off a little steam. Loud pulsating music, flashing lights and her fourth or maybe fifth tequila was making her head spin. She needed air and the bathroom.

Ana excused herself but on her way to the exit the desire to pee became more urgent than the need for fresh air, but as usual the line was long.

Crossing her legs and huffing, she dug out her phone to check her messages and maybe play a quick game of Candy Crush. Her phone had limited internet connection, so mindless gaming was out, not that she could have concentrated. She was feeling the effects of the liquor and was feeling mischievous enough to play another game. _What harm could it do?_

If he could play them, so could she. She didn't know why, but she'd stored Christian Grey's number from his card in her address book. Even feeling indignant about the books and their encounter earlier, she'd felt the need to keep it. _Foolish girl._

"Foolish!" She muttered to herself, causing the girl next to her to look at her strangely.

"Sorry, just talking to myself." Ana apologised then hiccupped and giggled. The line moved down one, so she shuffled her backside along the wall.

_Hmm, C...Ch...Christian Grey - there we go_ she said aloud in her head, conscious of not letting anyone know who she was calling. Just then, the line moved down and she was next for a cubicle. The dial tone rang twice and then his sexy deep voice was speaking her name.

"Anastasia?" Ooh, why did he always insist on using her full name?

"Why do you always call me _Anastasia_? So formal..." She mimicked him the best she could, giggling at her impersonation of him that was sure he wouldn't be impressed with - not that she cared at the moment.

"_Ana…_" He went to speak but just then a cubicle became free and she was more interested in relieving her bladder.

"Hang on Christian...I'm just...gonna uh, pull my panties down...ooh that's better." She giggled as she heard him ask her what she was doing and then sighed at the relief. Her eyelids drooped and her head flopped forward making her drop her phone.

She scrambled to pick it up, giggling when she could hear him shouting her name through the tinny speaker. Putting the phone back to her ear, she then held it away as his angry voice asked her where she was.

"Hey hey don't shout at me mister...High and Mighty! I called you...but I had to pee…" She slurred, wagging her finger in the air before she trailed off, losing her concentration.

"Anastasia, have you been drinking? Where are you?" He asked her firmly, bringing her attention back.

"Yes - tequila and a bar in Portland. You're so _bossy _and sooo confusing and hot as hell too but that's not why I'm calling…" She finished on the toilet and flushed it, tucking her phone between ear and shoulder to do up her jeans.

"Anastasia, are you calling me from the ladies room?" He sounded angry, but she ignored it.

"Yeeess, I told you I had to _pee!_ Anyway, the books...I'm giving them back...I don't even know why you gave them to me, _we're not friends_...I'm a _girl _and you don't do _girlfriends _remember?"

She heard him huff in annoyance. "Anastasia I swear, if you were mine I'd put you over my knee for that smart mouth!"

She gasped at his comment. "Ooh Mr Grey, that sounds... very _kinky_. I suppose I have been a bit of a naughty girl_!" _She giggled and hiccupped again. _ "_But I'm not _yours_ so I can do as I DAMN WELL PLEASE!" She punctuated each word and groaned. That hot feeling in her belly that you get before throwing up was churning and making her head swim.

"I'm coming to get you." He barked disconnected and she looked down at the phone puzzled.

"Hello, Christian…" She shook her head at his rudeness. Who did he think he was talking to her like that and hang on; did he say he was coming to get her? That didn't sound good. Fresh air did though so she made her way out, quickly running her hands under the cold tap in a half hearted effort to wash them.

She shuffled through the back corridor from the ladies room to the exit that had been propped open by a group of smokers. Wincing and coughing as she walked through a cloud of smoke she stood outside bent slightly with her hands on her knees as she tried to take in air.

Somebody called her name and then she felt arms around her from behind and whispering in her ear. José.

"Ana hermosa niña, what are you doing out here?" Jose had his whole body pressed up against her back, his mouth at her ear and she didn't like it one bit.

"José...stop doing that." She tried to move out of his grasp but he kept hold of her as he tried to kiss her neck. The feeling of his erection against her backside made the bile rise up.

"Stop! Get off me!" She pushed back and suddenly was flat on her backside, Jose on the ground, a fierce looking Christian looming over him.

The contents of her stomach chose that time to reappear as she leant over to vomit. Out of the corner of her eye someone moved to her and held her hair back as she retched again. Ana whimpered at the shame of having Christian Grey - Mr Hot Stuff himself, multi-gazillionaire, see her puke her guts out.

She was pulled to her feet and handed a handkerchief to wipe her mouth. "Are you O.K. now?"

She nodded contritely, keeping the handkerchief over her mouth to keep him from smelling her breath which she was sure was awful. He had his arm around her, keeping her up as she was gradually feeling more and more lethargic.

"Come on, let's get you out of here." He said, the caring tone making her look at him thankfully, she would welcome her bed right about now.

"Kate..." She suddenly thought she needed to tell her friend where she was. She didn't know where José had skulked off to.

"Is with my brother Elliot, he'll let her know." She nodded in acknowledgement and leant her head against his shoulder forgetting the handkerchief for now.

Vaguely she registered that she was slipping into sleep and that she was being carried. She smiled to herself as she realised that Mr Bossy Pants was carrying her.

"Bossy Pants…" She giggled to herself and turned her face into his neck. It was stubbly and had the lingering scent of cologne upon his skin as she ran her nose over the prickly hairs.

"Hmmm eau de Bossy Pants." She felt his grip on her tighten as he sucked in a breath but she was too far gone to comment.

Before she knew it she heard voices and the motion of being lowered into a vehicle, doors slamming behind them. Her head was now cradled in Christians lap and she opened one eye to look up at him. He was staring out of the window, the expression on his face tense. She didn't have the energy to argue about where they were going, just that she was really, really tired.

The gentle thrum of the engine and a hand gently stroking her hair had her drifting off to sleep.

Thanks for reading folks - next chapter is the morning after.

Subs x


	5. Chapter 5

A Lighter Shade of Grey ch5

A/N: Another big thank you to those that review/follow. I hope you enjoy this chapter, only one more to go before it loses the (original) plot – literally! I'd be interested to know if I'm the only one that's being kept awake at night by the visual of Jamie Dornan in the RRoP?

* * *

Musical inspiration: Creep (part 1) - Radiohead

When you were here before

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

* * *

Through the fog of sleep, Ana could hear water running. The sound of soothing ambient noises like rainfall or a stream that they play in spa's, not that she'd been to many - apart from the two times she'd been with her mother.

She weighed up the need for the bathroom and a drink, her tongue felt furry and her throat a little sore, but the bed felt so comfortable. Stretching out her arms above her head, her hands came into contact with a solid wood headboard - not her antique painted iron one. Her eyes flew open as she realised she wasn't in her own bed. Scrambling to sit up she instantly regretted it as a painful head rush made her clutch her temples.

She looked around the room, noticing it had that hotel feel about it. The coordinating drapes, carpeting and bedding, functional but stylish furniture and gadgets. The comforting noise she'd awoken to suddenly stopped and she turned her head towards an open door where the noise had been coming from.

Her heart was in her throat as she stared slack jawed at a dripping wet Christian Grey coming out of the shower. A short whimper escaped her as he reached for a towel moving from the full-frontal she'd got an eyeful of to a glorious vision of his wide shoulders and bite able ass. She'd not seen a guy naked before, apart from in movies of course, so Christian in the flesh was a breathtaking sight.

Looking around at her state of undress and a naked man in the shower she gulped. _Oh my God, I think I slept with Christian Grey! _

She whimpered again, attracting his attention. He turned and caught her watching him as he wrapped the towel low on his hips and that wicked smirk of his. He sauntered unabashed to her bedside and sat down on the edge causing her to back up slightly. Only then did she realise that she was undressed and wearing a plain white t-shirt. A flush spread over her chest and up her throat as she realised her nipples were standing to attention at the proximity of him. She pulled the sheet up and bunched it over her barely shielded chest.

"Good Morning Anastasia, how do you feel?" He asked, his tone softer than she'd heard from him before.

How did she feel? She remembered drinking...a lot and then feeling sick..._Oh shit_.

"Erm, better than I deserve…" Memories were rushing back of last night and now finding herself in a hotel room with a freshly showered Christian Grey.

Christian nodded sagely and gestured to the bedside table where there was a bottle of painkillers and a glass of fresh orange juice. Two little handwritten notes stood next to them saying 'eat me' and 'drink me'. It was thoughtful and she smiled at him with shy thanks as she obeyed silently.

Her mind was whirling with questions as to why she was here and whether _anything_ had happened. She didn't feel anything _down there_ that would indicate so, but not knowing exactly how it would feel afterward she needed to know.

"Christian...why am I here? Did we…." She cringed as she waited for his answer, her eyes pleading for a negative answer.

He had the gall to chuckle at her. "We're at my hotel, you were in no fit state to be left alone and to answer your question as to whether we…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively and she could have slapped him for it. "No Anastasia, I prefer my women sentient and responsive."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness." The way he was looking at her made her catch her breath. They may not have had sex, but she wasn't unaware of her state of undress either.

"You wound me Miss Steele." He mocked her, holding his hand to his heart as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Did you put me to bed...undress me?" She asked nervously, already knowing the answer but curious nonetheless.

Without pause or shame he admitted he had. "I did, your clothes were soiled so I put you in one of my shirts and sent your clothes to be laundered. Taylor has picked up some clothes for you." He pointed to the corner chair where a glossy store bag sat.

The mental replay of puking up in front of him was mortifying, even more so than the realisation that he'd seen her naked. In reality the situation would go down as top of the list in her mental compendium of embarrassing moments. The drunken call, Jose and his unwanted attention, the puking and passing out. She groaned internally.

"Thank you Christian." She replied meekly. She couldn't help but wonder why he was being so nice and looked down to her fingers that were twisting the sheet nervously.

His hand came to her face, gentle fingers lifting her chin to look at him. A mysterious smile played on his lips as he spoke. "You're welcome Anastasia."

They sat for a moment, his hand still touching her chin then moving slowly to smooth over her cheek which she was sure was hot to the touch with her blush. For what had passed between them before, this moment was unexpected.

"I'm sorry for the phone call last night." She bit her lip, remembering what she'd said to him on the phone, about not being friends.

He looked at her mouth and licked his lips. She felt giddy with nerves - him still in a towel and looking like he wanted to eat her alive. It was so sexy, especially so when he plucked her lip from her teeth, rubbing his thumb over the indent she'd left. She couldn't help but swallow nervously - what was going on here?

"You should be. It was very _disconcerting_ to hear you acting so irresponsibly. You're lucky nothing happened to you, putting yourself at risk like that." He chastised her like an errant child.

She wanted to argue with him, get angry at him scolding her when it really wasn't any of his business. Except that she'd _made _it his business when she'd called him. She wouldn't win this argument - he was right. She looked away from him, noticing the first time a room service trolley with breakfast. Her stomach rumbled loudly which was hardly surprising for somebody who'd emptied their stomach contents the night before.

He chuckled at her growling stomach and moved over the trolley which was laden with continental breakfast foods, miniature croissants, pain au chocolat, toast, fruit and then bacon and eggs. He fixed a plate for her, a little of everything on it and handed it to her.

"Eat." He ordered. She narrowed her eyes at his bossy tone, but took the plate regardless. She was ravenous and he lightened up as she started eating.

"Tea?"

"Yes please." She smiled shyly, pleased that he remembered she didn't drink coffee.

He moved back to the trolley again and poured hot water from a pot into a delicate china cup and saucer set and set a black labelled tea bag on the side with a spoon before handing it to her. For somebody who claimed she should stay away from him he certainly was being very attentive. It was all very sweet, she had to admit.

"Thank you kind sir." She smiled, putting her plate in her lap to dunk the tea bag in for a short time.

The playful glint in his eye was much more welcome than the awkward exchanges from before and it made her feel comfortable.

"You know, as much as I enjoyed hearing your voice again I would have preferred you calling me to talk about pulling your panties down, under different circumstances." She almost spit her tea out and coughed to clear her throat.

"Uh I erm, said that I was sorry." _Does that mean he'd like to call him again?_

"Yes you did but like I said last night, if you were mine I'd be spanking you for your recklessness. You should see the look on your face." I was aghast at his words. _He'd spank me if he was my boyfriend?_

"I know I wouldn't like that, besides I think we established that I'm not _'yours' _Christian." She bit into a rasher of bacon and moaned at the salty goodness, completely forgetting that the conversation had turned sour once again.

He levelled her gaze, his voice deep and sensual. "You might be surprised how pleasurable it could be Anastasia...for a punishment."

She scoffed at his comment as she moved her now empty teacup and plate to the bedside table. "Wow Mr Grey, such a romantic!" She rolled her eyes.

He was an inches from her face now, his body straddling her knees as he spoke in a warning tone. "Did you just roll your eyes at me Miss Steele?" She couldn't speak, his proximity stealing her words. She nodded.

"Just so we're clear - I don't do romance, hearts and flowers and all that. My tastes are very _singular_ \- you wouldn't understand." He spoke like he had some dark and deadly secret and it made her skin prickle.

"If you don't do girlfriends and romance _what do you do_? Is it just sex you want from me?"

"Anastasia - it's far more than just sex I want from you." The admission that he wanted more than sex had her imagination racing along with her libido. His words both intrigued her and turned her on. What was with all the '_my tastes are singular - you wouldn't understand_' shit. What the hell did that mean?

"Please enlighten me then, because this 'conversation' we keep having hasn't given me any clarity as to what you want Christian."

"I want _you _Anastasia but not yet, there's something you need to see first…" Her insides squirmed at the prospect.

Waiting was fair enough, she was hung-over and he probably had to go to work. As much as the thought of being ravished by him appealed, she could also think of a few reasons not to give in just yet. At least they'd established that he did want her, which gave her self-esteem a huge boost. His body language shouted it even if he vocalised now wasn't the time.

They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence, longing looks and shy smiles aside. Maybe he'd change his mind about the girlfriend thing in time? Was she that desperate for sex that she'd give herself to a man who was so obviously against commitment? She weighed up the pros and cons of giving her virginity to him knowing that it would be a casual thing? Was knowing the outcome in advance more realistic than her hope of a love connection?

All these questions in her mind were too much considering her hangover perhaps a shower would clear her head a little.

"I'd really like a shower, do you mind?" She asked shyly.

"Not at all, go ahead." He smiled graciously.

He took her dishes and put them back on the service trolley, answering a call on his phone as he walked away. As he went to the dresser he dropped his towel giving her another show. Ana licked her lips at the sight of his toned naked body before she bolted to the bathroom. She locked the door behind her, leaning up against it, her heart pounding as she tried to calm herself.

Pulling the borrowed t-shirt from her head and slipping out of her panties, she walked into the shower cubicle and turned on the water. The hot spray was a welcome relief to her throbbing head, the painkillers she'd taken earlier not yet working their magic. She used the complimentary shampoo and shower gel to wash her hair and body, enjoying their scent - the scent she'd smelled on Christian when he came out of the shower.

Within a few minutes, she stepped out and then looked around for spare toothbrush. It looked as if somebody had been sent out for supplies when she saw a selection of toiletries on the marble countertop. Taylor. She wondered whether he minded being put in the situation he was last night and having to go shopping for her. She'd make sure to thank him.

A new toothbrush, mini toothpaste, deodorant and a brush were gratefully used. She felt a hell of a lot better for some food, a shower and minty fresh breath. Realising her new clothes were still on the chair in the bedroom, she unlocked the door and peeked out. She wasn't so brazen that she could walk out with just a towel around her and was relieved to see a fluffy white cotton robe on the back of the door.

Modestly clad in the robe, she exited the steamy bathroom to find a casually dressed Christian still on the phone. He was growling at some poor soul but stopped his tirade as he turned, probably hearing the door open. He continued to have a stilted conversation as he watched her take the shopping bag back into the bathroom, catching his eyes as she closed herself off from him again.

The new clean underwear in pale blue lace and satin, a pair of soft dark denim jeans and a cream pointelle shirt all in her size, along with a brand new pair of pale blue converse. She felt a twinge of guilt at how much trouble he'd gone to. She was sure that he'd not consider taking any money for the clothes, so she resolved to accept them with grace. Yes it was high-handed to bring her here instead of home, to buy her clothes and chastise her for acting like any other 22 year old but she was grateful that he cared. Something told her it was just the way he operated though - he did what he wanted and woe betide anyone who questioned him.

She emerged for the second time, fully clothed and running a brush through her hair. Along with the new things in the bag were a few hair ties and some socks. She didn't want to use the hairdryer whilst Christian was still on the phone, so went to tie her hair in a braid, laying the socks down on the bed to put on next.

She felt eyes on her again and looked up to see Christian had finished his call and was sitting in an armchair with a coffee cup in one hand, the other cupped his chin as if in thought. She kept her eyes away from him as she started to split her hair into three, but then felt him sit next to her, so she stilled.

"Here, let me." He pulled her hands down from her head and held her by the hips, pushing gently until she'd angled her back to him.

He took the three sections and deftly braided her long hair, taking the tie she'd put round her wrist, to tie it off. It was unexpected and yet more evidence that he was more caring than he liked to be known. Dominating and caring, a heady combination.

He moved her back and so her feet out in front of her and took the socks from beside her, kneeling before her to lift her feet.

Wasn't she just thinking last night how funny it would be to see him on his knees and the likelihood of it happening? She stifled a giggle at the thought, but it didn't go unnoticed.

He grinned knowingly at her as he took her foot gently, running his fingers over the arch to tickle her making her laugh out loud as she squirmed. "Don't get used to this, I don't get on my knees for just anyone Anastasia."

The look that passed between them was loaded. She felt flattered and just a little bit satisfied that he'd admitted it.

"I wouldn't dare Mr Grey." She smiled coquettishly, squirming again when he repeated the tickle on her other foot.

He reached for her shoes but she went to stand to do it herself. "I can do those…" He pushed her gently down again.

"Sit." He ordered playfully.

"Yes Sir!" She mock saluted. He grinned at her as he tied the laces on her shoes, his hands moving to her ankles softly before releasing her and coming to a stand directly in front of her.

He looked down upon her with a contemplative expression. His mood had shifted once again as now he seemed amused and flirtatious as he reached for her hand and pulled her up to stand barely an inch between them. She flushed as the thrill of being so close to him rush through her, causing her belly to clench. He had hold of both of her hands as he opened his mouth. _This is it...he's going to kiss me! Let me be right this time._

The anticipation was killing her she was so desperate for his touch. "Kiss me Christian" She pleaded breathily.

His eyes darted between her eyes and her mouth hungrily as he lunged at her, holding her arms tight to her body, he moved her hands into his back pockets.

"Fuck the paperwork...Don't move your hands." He commanded before sucking her bottom lip into his mouth and releasing it. She had no intention of moving them if she got to feel his ass._ What was that about paperwork?_

"I've wanted to bite this lip since that day in my office…" He bit down on it and she moaned at the exquisite pain.

"Do it again." She breathed raggedly. He sucked again and brought his teeth down into her plump bottom lip again, causing her to whimper in pleasure.

"I knew you'd like it…" She didn't know what he meant by that, but she didn't' really care in that minute as she pulled her lip out and moved her mouth over his.

This kiss intensified slowly, lips smacking and tongues dancing out to lick and suck gently. Before long the kiss became passionate, their tongues' sliding over one another's desperately. She gripped his ass, digging her fingers in and in return Christian's fingers dug into her hips as he pulled her towards him showing how aroused he was.

Christian moaned breathily and growled into her mouth. "Yes, fuck _I want you_!" She whimpered at his words, the pure sex of his admission turning her on so much she had to clench her thighs.

She wanted to run her hands over his body, to feel his muscles through his shirt, run her hands through his sexy hair. She pulled her hands out and slid them up his back, only for him to freeze and pull away abruptly.

Her hands dropped to her sides and she stood panting, the withdrawal a shock as she took in his pained features. She moved to take his hand, concerned that she'd touched something that had hurt him, an injury maybe.

"Christian...are you O.K?" She asked concerned. He looked lost in his thoughts for a moment before shaking it off.

"I'm fine. Come. Let's get you home before I can't control myself any longer."

She was taken aback at the abruptness of their separation, but his admission that he'd not be able to control himself any longer softened the blow. Deep inside her body clenched at the thought of what would have transpired if they'd carried on.

"Oh...O.K." She sighed, a little disappointed that their sudden make-out was over.

Noticing her disappointment, he cupped her face tenderly. "Don't worry Anastasia, I have plans for you…" His eyes gleamed wickedly as he trailed his finger down her jaw and neck making her lean into his touch, the thrill of his words soothing her dismay.

She wondered what was next as she pondered his words. _I have plans for you… _Butterflies raced in her belly at the thought.

Feeling the rush, she bit her lip again, a reflex she did when she was feeling overwhelmed or aroused. Her body ached from the build of sexual tension, her nipples tingled and her stomach clenched.

Once again he leaned over to pluck her lip out of her teeth, giving it a quick peck. "Let's go, bring your things."

She moved reluctantly to gather her things, realising that she only had her cell phone. Kate had the keys in her purse - she hoped that Kate was home.

Outside the room was a paper bag with the hotel logo, her laundered clothes she presumed. She picked it up as Christian closed the door behind him, a slim black leather laptop case under his arm.

The ride down in the elevator was filled with tension again as they stood side by side, their eyes catching in the mirrored walls. Ana smiled at the cliché they found themselves in. What was it with elevators? From where she was standing there was certainly something about the prospect of risqué sex in one.

Like a gentleman, Christian ushered her out to the lobby, his impeccably turned out CPO waiting for us. Ana blushed as Taylor greeted her, giving her a polite smile. "Good Morning Miss Steele, I hope you are feeling better."

"Yes, thank you - and thank you for the new things." _Yeah, that was not embarrassing at all_.

Christian turned to her and held her hand gently in his. "I have a meeting so a car has been arranged to take you home."

"Thank you Christian, you needn't have worried - I can call a cab." She answered, grateful that she had some way to get home, but also guilty that he was going to so much trouble for her.

"That won't be necessary, it's all arranged. I'll walk you out." He ushered her towards the doors, his hand on the small of her back low down.

"O.K." She said softly grateful for his thoughtfulness.

He walked her towards a sleek silver Audi with another suited CPO type behind the wheel. Christian opened the door for her and she sunk back into the plush leather seats, her bag next to her.

She felt a little melancholy, having to leave him and hoping that he would ask to see her again. Her concerns were remedied as he leaned in, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and asked her what her plans were for the next day or so.

"I'll just be packing; Kate and I will be moving on Monday." She said happily, pleased that he'd asked her.

"Well, if you're free tomorrow evening, there's something I want to show you. I'll pick you up at 5.30." The promise of a continuation of their earlier tryst written all over his face.

"How could I possibly refuse?" She answered playfully.

"I'm hoping you won't…" She frowned at his answer. She was saying yes, why would she refuse him later?

"Goodbye Christian. Thank you for..._everything_." He reached over to put her seatbelt on; intentionally getting close to her, their eyes lingering as he did so. He really was absolutely gorgeous.

"You're welcome Anastasia. I'll see you tomorrow." He withdrew from the car and closed the door, the soft clunk of the expensive European car door a world away from the groans and clangs of her beloved Beetle.

He stood back from the car, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face as the car pulled away, her own smile rivalling that of any Cheshire Cat.

* * *

Christian had been incensed when he realised that Anastasia was drunk dialling him. Did she not realise what dangers she exposed herself to whilst under the influence? He knew only too well from his teenage years.

Thankfully he had the resources to track her phone and he didn't feel one ounce of guilt at the misuse of this technology. He had to know where she was and make sure she was O.K. The moment he heard her voice he was on alert; she having no reason to call him after their previous encounters. It wasn't one of his finest moments, but it made sense at the time.

He'd made it clear that he wasn't the man for her and he hated himself for hurting her feelings. Feelings that she'd worn openly and that he wished he could reciprocate. There was an easiness about her that he'd not come across with anyone else - she was completely guileless. Women usually flirted with him and were overtly sexual, but not Anastasia and he really liked that about her. She didn't flaunt herself or be suggestive to get his attention. He might be a very sexual man whose emotions were directly connected to his libido, but these women did nothing for him.

Call him masochistic but with Anastasia he was enjoying the chase. He wanted her - _desperately_. He wanted to fuck her, to dominate her and to be the sole source of any pleasure she felt. The thought of her into his playroom without going through the usual route turned him the _fuck_ on.

That was how he found himself at a student bar at midnight, towing an intrigued Elliott with the lure of getting lucky, to come to Anastasia's aid.

It had been worse than he thought as he sprinted to the bar in Portland. A dark haired guy had been all over her and she was clearly not enjoying it. From her slurred refusals it had sounded as if she knew the guy - not that it made a difference. She'd been distressed and he'd felt a possessive jealousy rise up as he approached them.

He'd pushed the guy away causing both him and Anastasia to fall but ignored the guy's protests as he reached for Anastasia who had leant over to puke. He'd held her hair away from her face, not wanting it to be caught in the vile spew.

He'd rubbed gently between her shoulder blades comforting her as she continued to retch and groan. She was exhausted so he'd swept her up to take back to his car. He wasn't going to argue with her - she was staying with him where he could keep an eye on her.

It turned out that she was compliant and quite talkative when inebriated and her entertaining ramblings had tempered how livid he'd been about the state she was in. He'd also enjoyed having her head in his lap, although he would have preferred it be under different circumstances. The thought of her mouth on his cock aroused him greatly, but thankfully she'd been oblivious to his erection under her head.

He'd got Taylor to clear the path to take Anastasia up to his room. The last thing he needed was lurking paps or loose-lipped staff seeing him carry an unconscious female up to his room late at night.

He had then laid her slack body down on the comforter and proceeded to clean her up, shaking his head at the irony. Since that first meeting he'd imagined her naked and he'd got his wish, but due to the circumstances he hadn't the will. He might be an opportunist and a dominant but taking advantage of a drunken woman wasn't his style by a long shot.

There was no doubt she'd have something to say about his undressing her in the morning, but her jeans reeked of vomit that had splashed up her legs and her shoes were ruined. He'd grabbed a laundry bag from the closet and grimaced as he untied her laces on her Converse and pulled them off along with her socks. The jeans came next and his fingers had lingered on the soft pale skin of her stomach as he undid them and pulled them down her legs, making sure they were inside out. The shoes, jeans and socks were dumped in the bag quickly.

The lingering smell of vomit had been just enough to extinguish the desire he felt as he looked upon her long slim legs and innocent white panties. Her hips curved into a slim waist, her feminine body calling to him. Quite often his submissives were skinny and small breasted, but that hadn't been an issue as long as they submitted willingly. But Anastasia - _fuck_ she was beautifully luscious.

With barely restrained desire he'd removed her t-shirt carefully, it too a victim of her intoxication. Unchecked, he'd stood over her as he admired her body. Her breasts had been squeezed into a push up bra, which didn't suit her style at all...it had to go. Luckily it had a front clasp and he'd skilfully removed it, swallowing hard as her soft mounds revealed small dark rosy nipples.

He'd felt like a pervert as he'd catalogued as much of her body as he could. _ She was fucking perfect_. From what he'd seen in her tight jeans, he imagined her ass was pert and smooth and fuckable. The fantasy of seeing it rosy from a spanking made his palm twitch and his cock throb.

She'd whimpered as goosebumps formed on her skin and so he'd reluctantly covered her with the sheet to keep her warm. Then put her t-shirt in with the other items before fetching a warm washcloth for her face. With more tenderness than he'd ever exhibited towards a woman, he gently washed around her mouth, sure that she'd hate to have remnants of her lipstick and vomit still present in the morning. As the damp cloth touched her face, she stirred in her sleep and murmured something unintelligible.

He'd been sitting for a while on the edge of the bed thinking about how she'd come to be in his room watching her sleep, unable to resist the urge to stroke her glossy hair.

"_Beautiful girl_." He whispered into the darkness - even asleep and unable to see those stunning blue eyes, she was more alluring than any woman he'd known.

He felt confused at the feeling that bloomed alongside his lust for her, knowing it was both impossible and illogical for him to consider this unnameable emotion. But he had to admit that as much as he desired her, he wanted her in a whole other way that he was sure he couldn't be capable of. He'd known it since he was a young child and he been told it repeatedly over the years by Elena. _Love was not for him._

_Was this feeling love? No..._

He couldn't deny that it was an emotion he recognised though, for he knew he loved his family even if he wasn't demonstrative about it. Romantic love was a mystery to him and had accepted long ago that it always would be. When he lay awake at night following a particularly disturbing nightmare, he wondered what it would feel like to have the love of a woman such as Anastasia. It would be bittersweet, he knew it. For to keep love you had to return love and he'd convinced himself for so long that that part of him was broken.

With a heartfelt sigh, he placed the laundry bag outside his door and moved to the bar where he poured himself a drink before taking a seat to watch over his charge whilst he finished some work.

An hour or so later he undressed and moved to the bed to lie down next to Anastasia on his side and so he could see her face, soft and innocent in sleep. He'd fallen asleep quickly, only to be woken by Anastasia turning face to face with him, her nose touching his. His usual 3am nightmare had passed him by and he pondered the reason why.

Dawn wasn't far away but he knew his sleeping beauty would remain dormant for a while longer, so he rose from the bed reluctantly and changed into his running gear before slipping out of the room. The fresh chill of the morning air would wipe the exhaustion he felt from only a couple of hours sleep. There was barely a soul around but the security guard and early morning receptionist on duty as he went to meet Taylor for their regular 6am run.

As they ran side by side along the unfamiliar route, he gave instructions to Taylor for Anastasia's safe return to her home. His CPO would accompany him to his 9am meeting whilst Sawyer would take Anastasia. On their way back last night, he'd asked Taylor to arrange for Anastasia to have clean clothes and the necessary toiletries, the likes of which he'd deliver to his room before she woke.

Around 45 minutes later he returned to his room surprisingly invigorated and looking forward to being on the receiving end of Miss Steele's smart mouth. Alas, she was still sleeping so he decided to shower as he was sweaty and horny. It was hard not to imagine her in there with him as he soaped his body, fisting and pumping to relieve the tension as he watched her sleeping form visible until the glass steamed up and the view of the object of his lust was lost.

* * *

Thanks for reading. Reviews are always appreciated. Don't forget to check out my Pinterest and Polyvore pages under the same penname.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: A massive thank you hug to those who reviewed and followed me. This chapter is a biggie for me, but I just couldn't see where to split it so I hope you enjoy this longer chapter. Musical inspiration come from Sam Smith, who I'm going to see in a month's time in London (sooo excited!). Please forgive any errors and slap my wrist for any continuity mishaps. I'm playing here, so please take the facts with a pinch of salt. More pics have been uploaded on Pinterest for those of you intersted in a visual.

Don't despair that Ana is giving in, she's being realistic and without spoiling it for ch7, will NOT take the visit to the playroom lightly.

* * *

Musical inspiration: Sam Smith - Nirvana

Oh baby, oh baby, oh we both know the truth

If it were the real me and you,

This wouldn't be the right thing to do

Now the room is all hazy, we're too lost in the fumes

I feel like it's just me and you,

Yeah we got nothing to lose

It's too late to run away from it all

It's too late to get away from it all

I'm done with running so I give in to you

This moment has caused a reaction

Resulting in our reattachment

Will you take me to nirvana?

I don't think this will last

But you're here in my arms

* * *

The ride back to her apartment was silent. Sawyer kept his eyes on the road and didn't say a word which was fine with her as she was consumed with her thoughts.

Those thoughts were dominated by Christian. The aloof, bordering on rude man that she'd met previously had only reared his (far from) ugly head briefly and that was to chastise her drunken behaviour.

Even though they weren't really friends, but were possibly on their way to being - maybe more, she couldn't find reason to be peeved at him. Ray would have done exactly the same, the difference being that as her father, it was expected. He was right though, matters could have got way, way more serious for her the night she'd gone past her alcohol tolerance.

José had never come on to her like that before. He'd always been in the friend zone and for him to take it beyond that was out of character. She shuddered to think where they would be now if she'd caved to his advances. She should probably call him to talk, so pulled out her phone to send him a message.

_11 missed calls_

_3 voice messages_

_8 text messages_

Oh great. José, Kate and Christian had all tried to contact her and she groaned at the prospect of listening to their voicemails, especially José's. She knew him well enough to know that he'd be feeling guilty as hell. Christian's message was no doubt full of bossy instructions, _nothing new there._

The messages were a mixture of '_Ana where the hell are you_?', '_Anastasia, answer your phone NOW_' and '_Ana forgive me I'm an idiot_'.

She pulled up one of José's messages, barely reading it and told him she forgave him but he had to make it up to her. There was no point dwelling on what was a drunken mistake - it had been a night of them.

Kate's text messages were more entertaining by far. 'OMG CG's bro is HOT!', 'U OK banana? EG said CG taking you back to his hotel, good going girl!', 'He better be good 2U - don't forget to wrap it ;D'.

Ana shook her head and chuckled at Kate's words knowing that her friend would be disappointed to hear that she wasn't in any state to get lucky with Christian Grey. Besides, even if she'd been sober, she doubted he would've acted upon it. She was sure she wasn't really his type.

Texting Kate to let her know she was on her way home and fine, she smiled to herself as she watched the city pass her by. She felt more than fine, even with a mild hangover - she tingled from head to toe as she remembered their kiss. She'd never been kissed like that before. The promise of more had lingered between them and she had to clench her pelvic muscles at the thought. Christian was so sexy in that mysterious/bad boy way and it thrilled her. There was something dangerous about him that she wanted to know, but that scared her at the same time.

There was no doubt he was intimidating, she'd established that at the interview. The mix of power, wealth, attraction and charisma was a heady one indeed. She was beginning to understand why he was so high-handed and bossy, as he was no doubt used to ordering people around and managing situations in his position of power.

It had irked her before, but she'd softened somewhat to his attitude. The care he'd shown her from the moment he decided to 'rescue' her, up to strapping her into her seatbelt, showed a side to him she was sure few got to see. The bloom of anticipation swelled in her chest at the thought of seeing him later and made her quietly giddy with excitement.

Familiar buildings came into view as they came to a stop outside her apartment building; she'd been in a daze and hadn't been paying too much attention, her thoughts consumed by Mr Mercurial.

By the time she'd undone her seatbelt and moved to get out, Sawyer had come around to open her door. She smiled shyly at the gesture even though it was part of his job, she appreciated it nonetheless.

As she thanked him and walked to her door, she was met with the sight of Kate hanging off a guy with dirty blonde hair who was kissing the life out of her. This must be Elliott Grey she surmised. Obviously not as reserved as his brother to be seen smooching on the doorstep with a barely clad blonde.

He pulled away from a beaming Kate who was flushed and dishevelled in that effortlessly sexy way she always managed. A quality which Elliott appreciated by the look of how hard he was finding it to leave. Ana walked up behind them and cleared her throat.

"Oh hi Ana, this is Elliott. Elliot meet my best friend Ana Steele." He moved to shake her hand which she took firmly.

"Nice to meet you Ana, I can see what had my brother's panties in a twist." Ana blushed hard.

The sexy genes were strong in his family, even though she remembered reading that Christian was adopted. She liked hearing how she affected Christian, pleased that it wasn't just her that had her panties in a twist. She had no idea what he'd said to his brother for him to come to that conclusion, but whatever it was, it was enough for him to take notice.

"You too Elliott." He grinned and turned back to Kate, gently pecking her on the lips.

"Laters baby." He winked and Kate giggled like girl, which was so _not _Kate. There must be something in the air.

Elliott walked away and Kate looped Ana's arm with hers as she dragged her back into their apartment.

"Elliott seems nice." She levelled Kate, her eyebrows questioning what was going on between them.

Kate moved to the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee and boiled the water for Ana's tea.

"Don't deflect Ana Steele! Yes, Elliott is more than nice - he's utterly gorgeous and amazing. I'm seeing him later tonight, but that's beside the point...tell me about your night."

Ana looked down at her hands, embarrassed at having to recount her behaviour and the night in Christian's hotel room.

"Well...I was an idiot and called him and he came for me. I'm _never _drinking again."

Kate laughed as she handed Ana her tea. "Famous last words! You're entitled to get drunk every now and again girl - it was worth it in the end though yeah?"

She knew what Kate was asking and shrugged. "We kissed, that's all."

"_Really?_ You spent the night at his hotel and didn't…._you know_?" Kate's surprise was evident by the stupefied look on her face.

"Nope. Passed out drunk and puking doesn't exactly do it for my Mr Grey." She admitted in resignation.

"_Your _Mr Grey? That's very possessive of you Steele and gentlemanly of him - I'm impressed. Are you seeing him again?"

"Tonight." The girls both grinned, happy at the thought they'd both got dates and with brothers no less.

"How are you though Ana? Too hung-over to do some packing?" Kate asked, far too perky at the prospect.

"I'm good, let's make a start." She sipped her tea and then set to work.

They spent the best part of day packing up their apartment to the bare essentials before retreating to their own rooms to get ready for their respective dates.

* * *

Ana hadn't been sure what to wear but she knew she wanted to make an impression. No jeans this time, so she decided on a flirty dress and flats. She was proud of her legs and as the weather was mild, so decided that she'd show them off.

A few hours earlier she'd received a text from Christian confirming their date. It was short but sweet and she'd felt that bloom of excitement again at his words.

_Seeing you later can't come soon enough. CG_

She'd replied with a simple _'I agree. What do you have planned?' _His reply was thrillingly cryptic.

_A surprise or two Miss Steele. _ She liked the way he called her _Miss Steele_. There was an undertone that smacked of something suggestive. So, no heads up for their plans then - the surprise factor made her excitement level hike further and she was positively bouncing when he arrived to pick her up.

She was at the window as a low sports car pulled up and she watched him get out. As if on instinct he looked up and saw her, that delicious smirk on his face as if he was pleased for her eagerness.

Kate was on the phone, so she waved her goodbye and dashed down to the door slamming it behind her and nearly barrelled into Christian who was waiting at the bottom.

"Oof!" They both exclaimed as they collided. He was quick to grab her arms to stop her falling.

"I'm so sorry. I seem to have a habit of doing that with you, don't I?" She apologised.

"I like how you throw yourself at me Miss Steele." _I like it too_, she thought.

She giggled and bit her lip at his playful tone. For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her again, on the very same spot she'd found Kate and Elliott this morning. Alas for her, it seemed Christian wasn't into PDA's. She couldn't blame him really in his high profile position though, but it did sting a tiny bit.

"Come let's get going, we need to keep on schedule." She had no idea what he'd organised but she was intrigued by his control freakery nonetheless.

He led her to the low silver sports car and opened the door for her, whilst taking her hand to steady her as she tried to manoeuvre herself down into the seat without flashing him. When he was sat in the driver's seat, he started the engine, the noise making her jump.

The throaty growl of the engine was so powerful, that combined with the exhilaration she felt at being in close proximity to Christian was a powerful aphrodisiac. She might be holding on to her virginity for Mr Right, but in this moment, she'd settle for Mr Right Now who was sitting next to her.

"Are you going to tell me what we're doing?" She asked as he eased his way into the moving traffic.

"You don't like surprises?" He deflected.

"I do, I'm just excited is all…" _And then some_, she thought giddily.

"Me too Anastasia." He brushed her cheek with his finger briefly looking away from the road before concentrating on driving once again.

The way he looked at her, she could combust on the spot it was so intense. She dragged her eyes away from looking at him as he drove to take in her surroundings. They were barely in the very expensive powerful car before he was pulling up at the hotel she'd spent the night in before.

"We're going back to the hotel?" She asked surprised. Was he going to carry on where they'd left off the night before?

"Yes, for an early dinner then the surprise." He smiled that boyish handsome smile that made her insides squirm. She liked this side of him, his relaxed manner so much more appealing than the bossy powerhouse she'd come to know before.

She didn't remember the hotel, of course, her having been passed out drunk the night he 'rescued' her. It was truly stunning in all its shiny, pristine glory and smartly turned out staff that jumped to attention at the sight of Christian. The female staff visibly preened whilst the concierge welcomed him with a subservience that had her biting the inside of her mouth to stop herself laughing. The way people acted around him was just too ridiculous..._did she act differently?_

She leaned in to whisper in his ear, their bodies already close as he had his hand on the small of her back. "Do you like all this subservience?" She asked in a whisper.

He smiled indulgently. "Depends who's doing it really..._this lot_, not at all. You on the other hand I'd enjoy…" He slid his hand around to her waist to settle low on her hip, the tips of his fingers tracing her hip bone in an intimate caress. His eyes caught hers in that mesmerizing stare that had her biting her lip.

"_Oh_." He was flirting with her and she loved it. "You must get tired of people fawning over you the way they do though, don't you ever just want to be treated like a normal person?" She asked as they were led into the exclusive restaurant and shown to a private booth.

"Sometimes…" He answered with a wistful tone. "It grates... but I have to accept that my life isn't conventionally 'normal', it never has been."

She wondered what he meant by that. Had he had a less than idyllic childhood before his adoptive family took him in? Their relationship was far too green to dig so deep, besides she surmised he wouldn't be so forthcoming.

They were handed off to a waitress who did the whole fawning thing to Christian whom he was oblivious to luckily. He ordered for them both, which she didn't mind as when glimpsed the menu it might as well have been written in Dutch. She trusted that he'd order something delicious and would undoubtedly choose a fitting wine. She might be recently acquainted with tequila, but seeing as she was only just over the legal drinking age, was not anywhere near as knowledgeable as Christian's sommelier-like expertise.

Left to talk amongst themselves, the conversation moved freely through the topics of family, careers and travel. Their food came, was heartily consumed and went away on empty plates, Christian seemingly pleased with her appetite. The topic of relationships reared its ugly head and she lost the desire to eat the rich chocolate parfait that sat in between them with one spoon.

"So, I take it you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with the boy who was getting too friendly the other day..._what's his name_?"

"José ...and no were just friends."

"Did you date much whilst you were in college?" She shook her head in the negative.

He snorted in surprise. "_Really_, a beautiful girl..._woman_ like you? Guys must have been throwing themselves at you!"

She shook her head again, a nervous lump in her throat at the thought of having to admit she had zero experience. "Not me..._Kate_ yes, but not me."

"Why ever not Anastasia?" She blushed and was about to answer when a fierce looking blonde and a timid looking redhead stopped at their table.

"Christian darling! Fancy running into you here, it's lovely to see you." Like the gentleman he was he rose from his seat and greeted the woman.

She was dressed like she was attending a funeral, albeit one where low necklines and leather were appropriate. Her hair was in a harsh bob that covered the sides of her face, no doubt to hide the obvious facelift she'd had. Kate would have said she was 'mutton dressed as lamb'. Ana blushed, ashamed at her inner bitchiness.

Mrs Mutton withdrew from Christian, who Ana could tell had intimate knowledge of Christian from the way she acted with him and looked her over with a calculating eye.

"Who's this?" The woman asked frostily, her eyes raking over Ana and making her skin crawl.

"Pardon me, Elena this is Anastasia Steele, Anastasia meet Elena Lincoln a family friend." She barely remembered her manners as she focussed on Christian. The way he introduced her, he sounded proud.

"It's nice to meet you." She held out her hand but made no move to stand.

Her voice betrayed her nerves, the vibe she got from this woman teamed with the noticeable way Christian tensed in her presence, made her uneasy. Ana glanced to Elena's companion and wondered why neither of them introduced the redhead who hadn't said a word. The girl, who barely looked eighteen, was dressed similarly and just stood looking at her feet. Ana thought _she_ was shy, but this girl/woman took it to a whole other level.

She looked away from the girl to see the way Christian's face grimaced at the way this woman, Elena was looking at her. He looked both angry and embarrassed and thankfully steered her away from the probing gaze. It was how she imagined a predator would lure its prey by distraction..._like a velociraptor_.

"Excuse me for a moment." He turned to me, an apologetic and uncomfortable expression on his face. He took Elena by the elbow and moved her away out of earshot.

Christian looked increasingly annoyed the more the blonde spoke. She couldn't tell what Elena was saying to him as her back was to their table, but she could pick up the gist of the conversation from Christian's point of view. The say eavesdroppers never hear anything good and that could be said about lip-readers too. Granny Steele had been deaf, so when she'd help look after Ana in her youth, had taught her how to sign and lip-read. It was really quite useful at times, particularly now as she focussed on Christians mouth.

_It's none of your business what I do Elena._

_She's not but I hope she will._

_Like I said Elena, if I'd wanted your help I would have asked._

_Yes, I'll see you next week...at the club...yes...goodnight Elena._

Elena leaned in to Christian holding his arms as she kissed his cheek with such familiarity. They parted and Christian caught Ana's eyes as he walked back to their table. She didn't want to ask about the woman, knowing that Christian would know she'd been essentially eavesdropping. If he wanted her to know, he'd tell her.

Seating himself again, he picked up the wine to top up her glass and then plunged the spoon into the decadent dessert.

"Now, _where were we_…?" He offered her the spoon, holding out close to her mouth to indicate he wanted to feed her. It was really sexy the way he watched her mouth as she took the spoon with her tongue.

The rich sweet cream was a decadent caress on her taste buds and she couldn't suppress the moan of delight at its deliciousness. The strange conversation forgotten for another time, she gave in to this little seduction scene.

"More?" He asked her, the spoon once again laden with parfait. Stormy grey eyes locked with hers. _Yes she'd have more please_.

She was enjoying his attentiveness, the intimacy of feeding her tugged at her emotions. She couldn't imagine getting this kind of regard from a guy own age. Having Christian, several years older and infinitely more sophisticated, was a heady rush to a naive, average girl like her. She was becoming more drawn in every passing minute and could see herself falling under his spell even knowing his stance on relationships.

She couldn't help but bite her lip, the veiled metaphor of his intentions exciting her. "Please." She replied in a whisper. She watched his eyes as he fed her again, purposefully taking her time. "Mmm..."

He watched her as she swallowed and chased the dessert with a delicate sip of wine. He snapped out of his daze to refill her wine glass. She'd already drunk two glasses and could feel that slight buzz she got from the grape.

"Are you trying to get me tipsy Mr Grey?" She asked her smile playful.

"I wouldn't dream of it Miss Steele, I'd prefer you relatively sober for what I have planned for you."

A thrill ran through her, from her nipples to her apex. Her imagination running wild at the prospect. It made her brave.

"_Really_ and what would that be?" She inquired.

"More pleasure than you've ever experienced before." _Oh...my_. Her cheeks flamed hot as her heart raced at the prospect. He wouldn't have to do much, what with her experience being zero.

She debated telling him that fact, but really didn't want to spoil the moment. "I think I'd like that…"

He looked very pleased with himself and sat back into his seat, taking his nearly empty wine glass with him. He savoured it like it was precious until a frown passed his feature as something caught his eye. Ana turned to see what he was looking at and got caught in the frigid stare of Elena. _What was her problem?_

"Are you ready to leave?" Christian asked the playfulness from earlier gone.

"Erm yes, I just need to use the ladies room." She needed to splash some cold water on her burning cheeks and pee of course.

"Just in the corner over there." Christian indicated the direction of the ladies room and signalled to the waitress to settle up.

As Ana exited the stall to wash her hands, the redhead companion was at the basins washing her hands. The two women were silent for a moment, but when Ana moved to exit the girl stood in her way, stopping her.

"Mistress is jealous." The girl looked as if she were about to cry, as if she was hurt.

"I'm sorry, what? Jealous of whom?" Ana asked nervously, knowing that she probably knew the answer already. What was with the 'mistress' moniker?

"Of _you_. He's her favourite." This conversation was getting stranger by the second. But bar pushing this girl out of her way, she was stuck.

"Well that's nice." Ana replied awkwardly.

"Mistress says his set-up is exquisite..._the best._" _Set-up?_ Did she mean his apartment?

"I'm sure his apartment is amazing, nothing but the best for Christian." She tried to lighten up the tone, hoping that this conversation would come to an end soon.

The redhead gasped and cocked her head at Ana in confusion. "He lets you call him by his name?"

_What?_ What else would she call him? The 'Mr Grey' and 'Miss Steele's' were kind of playful now, in the same sense that she called him 'Sir'. He seemed to like that.

"Erm, what else would I call him? _That's his name._" Ana laughed incredulously.

"Why _'Master' _of course...or _'Sir'_." O.K. this conversation had officially hit crazytown. She was leaving.

Ana shook her head. "If we were re-enacting a period drama then maybe so, but with him he's just _Christian_. He's not the master of me."

He might be the most high-handed and bossy person she'd ever met bar Kate, but it suited him and she'd kind of gotten used to it. It seemed natural to him and she was learning to roll with it. That didn't mean to say she was a pushover though.

"But he…" Ana pushed past the girl before she could finish, impatient to get away from her strange rant.

She opened the door to the ladies room to find Christian standing there waiting, a scowl on his face as he saw Elena's companion standing there behind her.

"Christian, sorry I took so long, I was just chatting to…." Ana waved in the direction of the redhead whose name she didn't even know didn't want to if she wanted to be bitchy about it.

He took her hand and pulled her into his side. "Are you alright? What did she say to you?"

Christian had pulled her in close his hand now cupping her face in concern.

He looked nervous and it made Ana think the whole conversation just that little bit more strange. Did he know her? There was something tugging in the recesses of her brain, but she couldn't dredge it up. Maybe it was the wine, or the proximity of their bodies.

The redhead moved quickly past them and back in the direction of where her and Elena's table was, Christians eyes following her for a while before focusing back on her.

"It was nothing...I think she was drunk, she didn't make any sense. She said that Elena _likes _you?"

He scowled at the idea, the distaste for the fact written all over his face. Ana was relieved that he didn't reciprocate the notion. He didn't ask further as he gently steered her away and out of the restaurant. They waited at the elevator, his hand rubbing gently along her side rhythmically.

Christian guided them into the elevator car and reached over to push the button for the roof, once again bringing their bodies close together.

"The roof? Why are we going up there?" She had hoped that he'd maybe got another room and they could spend some time working on her 'lack of experience'.

"It's all part of the surprise. Have some patience Miss Steele." He reached to stroke her hair, his hand gently holding her face.

His mouth was on hers in an instant and she moved her hand to grip his shoulder, his neck - anything she could get hold of as his mouth devoured hers hungrily but with unexpected tenderness.

Pulling away to breathe, he rested his forehead against hers, catching her free hand in his before it had the chance to rest on his chest. _No touching_, she remembered.

"I'm sorry about Elena and her..._companion_. I wish you hadn't been exposed to her…" He seemed to shudder at the thought.

"It's fine Christian, even if they were both a bit strange. Let's not let a little weirdness spoil a lovely dinner and my surprise." She smiled before she kissed him gently on his cheek as she tried to lighten the mood.

He ran his nose gently over hers, the tenderness of his caress touching her deeply. "You're such a breath of fresh air Anastasia...so _good_."

His words were tinged with a desperation she'd not heard from him before and it tugged at her heartstrings.

"Only for you Christian…" He sucked in a breath and bought their entwined hands up between them and kissed her fingers.

Their moment was halted by the chiming of the elevator indicating they'd reached the roof level. She was intrigued to say the least, but as they walked the short distance to the rooftop exit she could hear a loud engine noise that had her already elevated heart rate increase. She looked to Christian for reassurance and he gripped her hand tighter, sensing her nerves.

The door opened when Christian pushed on the bar and they were met by the origin of the noise.

"A helicopter! Is this _yours_?" She asked with childlike enthusiasm as she pointed to the GEH logo.

He looked like a proud parent, his beaming smile as big as hers. "Yep, this is Charlie Tango."

"Oh my God, are we taking a ride...a _flight?" _She always wanted to ride in a helicopter but there had never been enough money to afford it when her mother took her to Vegas one year. A flight over the Grand Canyon being a wish of hers.

"Your chariot milady." Christian swept his arm in an over the top gesture making her giggle at him.

She let him take her by the hand as he helped her into her seat and then moved around to get seated himself. It was only when he took the pilot's seat she realised _he _was the pilot.

"_You're_ going to fly us?" She asked impressed.

"I am. It's one of my many pleasures along with soaring." He answered as he buckled her into the four point harness and handed her a headset.

He put his own harness and headset on as he pressed buttons and flicked switches, the rotors coming to life as lights flickered on all over the control panel.

"Soaring?" She asked distractedly, watching him move through an unspoken ritual for take-off.

All sound was muted, so she jumped when she heard his voice come back to her through the headset.

"Another word for gliding...it's exhilarating. I should take you sometime." His boyish excitement at the prospect made her smile.

"That sounds awfully like a date Mr Grey. First dinner, then a helicopter ride...I thought you didn't do this sort of thing?" She asked teasingly.

"So did I Miss Steele...it's another first for me." The shy smile he gave her was heartening.

"Not me...I get billionaires taking me for helicopter rides every other week." She teased. He laughed out loud, the sound of his laughter making her giggle too.

"Well, I'll have to see if I can top that then Miss Steele. Can't have you slipping away from me now can I?" He brought his thumb to her lip that she'd unknowingly trapped in her teeth. His possessiveness secretly thrilling her.

He pulled back and spoke some commands to secure their take-off window and before she knew it, they were pulling up and sweeping away from the rooftop and into the night. She hadn't asked where they were headed but his instructions over the radio waves had mentioned Seattle.

This was turning out to be one hell of a night that anyone would be hard pushed to top. She alone knew she didn't have suitors lining up around the block like Christian seemed to think she had. It never seemed the right time to bring something like that up. _Later_, she thought as she glanced around in awe at her bird's eye view of the city.

As they left the glow of urban lights behind them the surreal glow of the moon highlighted parts of the landscape as they flew towards Seattle. The forests and mountain ranges she'd only seen from the ground, luminescent in their lunar spotlight.

They seemed content in their silence as she admired the views, glancing occasionally at Christian as he concentrated and sometimes catching him looking at her. Every now and then he'd point something out or answer her when she asked what something in the distance was, like Mount Rainier national park to their right, or as they got closer to Seattle, the Olympic range.

As they entered the city she was equally as awed, if not more as they flew past places she'd never dream of seeing from the air. He was an excellent tour guide as he indicated places of interest like the Space Needle, numerous lakes and parks. It was just amazing at night and she hoped that one day she'd get to see it in the daytime.

They circled a high rise apartment building, an illuminated sign indicating it was Christian's building Escala. Within a minute they were safely settled on the roof and she could see his CPO Taylor waiting by the door, his face screwed up from the gust of the rotors.

Christian spoke some more to the air traffic centre she surmised and began the routine of shutting down. The rotors were still moving but slowing down gradually, enough for Christian to signal she could take her headset off.

"This is so amazing Christian, thank you for bringing me up here." She turned to thank him, her movement restricted as she realised she was stuck in the harness.

Christian reached over to release her. "You're most welcome Anastasia, I'm pleased you enjoyed it."

"Stay." He ordered her, pointing his finger for emphasis before exiting from the pilot side. He came around and opened her door, holding her steady and advising her to keep her head down. Her hair whipped about her face and she felt quite dishevelled as Christian guided her to the door that would take them down into the building.

"Hi Taylor." She greeted with a little wave.

"Good Evening Miss Steele." He answered back formally.

Taylor and Christian spoke to for a moment, Christian handing him something before opening the door and ushering her through.

"Which floor is your apartment?" She asked as he used a key to summon the elevator.

"The Penthouse, just below us." He answered with a smirk.

"_What else_?" She answered cheekily, rolling her eyes at there being any other answer for Mr Fancy-pants himself.

"You did not just roll your eyes at me, did you Miss Steele?" He manoeuvred her so her back was to the doors of the elevator which she could hear only moments away from arriving. He was still playing with her, but there was a hint of something dangerous in his tone.

"No Mr Grey." She bit her lip trying to stifle a giggle. She felt like an errant schoolgirl lying to the teacher.

He raised his brow and moved his hand around to cup her ass with one hand, the other wrapped around her shoulders just as the elevator doors opened. His embrace stopped her from falling flat on her backside. He pushed into her, causing her step back as he pressed her against the wall. Reaching to the side of her he used the key again to select their floor, the doors closed and they started to descend.

They were only in the elevator a couple of seconds before the doors opened but Christian remained still, his hold on her driving her wild. She wanted to kiss him. It seemed he did too as he claimed her mouth. With one hand he brought her hands up over her head, the other hooked her leg up around his thigh as he kissed her passionately.

His mouth moved from hers to her neck and she threw her head back at the sensation of his lips against her sensitive skin. He pulled her hands down and so they rested around his neck and she mewled with satisfaction at now being able to thread her fingers in his hair. He seemed to like that too, as the sexual tension hiked up a notch. Now that both hands were free, he hoisted her up and so her legs were wrapped around him and he moved them away, walking easily with her clinging to him.

She didn't even see the apartment as he walked them somewhere...a bedroom she supposed, her eyes were closed as they continued their kiss. She felt softness underneath her as he laid her down pushing himself closer, their clothes barely hiding the sensation of what was underneath. Their tongues thrashed in an erotic dance, their lips smacking together and seeking out more flesh as they both explored the closest erogenous zone.

"Fuck Ana, I can't wait...I need to see you." Christian panted from between her cleavage, his head resting on her sternum.

"Then don't." She returned boldly, pulling his head up to meet her eyes.

This set a fire under him and before she could take a breath, he moved and took the bottom of her dress and pulled it up, signalling for her to lift her hips and shoulders to help. His eyes devoured her exposed flesh as she lay there in her underwear. She looked away, embarrassed to meet his eyes, never having been naked in front of a man before.

He took her chin in his grip, bringing her to meet his gaze. "Don't be shy beautiful girl."

She smiled coyly. She was so out of her depth and had no idea what to do, she had to say something.

"Christian I...I've never done this...I don't know what to do." Her eyes pleaded with him to understand without her actually having to say those words _I'm a virgin_.

He sucked in a breath and trailed his fingers up her sides, once again moving her arms above her head. His face now in front of her as he loomed over her body.

"I know." He answered quietly his expression awed. "I suspected so and I should have left you alone…" She didn't hide the hurt as she frowned. "...but with you I feel selfish and possessive and I want you..._need you to myself_."

The hurt faded and morphed into something unexplainable. Was it that she was flattered? _Yes_. Turned on? _Definitely_. Overwhelmed? _Quite_...it was quite something to have such a gorgeous, powerful man so enthralled by you.

"Make love to me Christian…" The words poured out without thought, just feeling. She wanted this.

He rested his forearms on the bed, his body straddling hers as he looked into her eyes. "I've never made love Ana, I don't make love." She frowned, not comprehending as he continued.

"I fuck..._hard_. The women I fuck, they want it like that and to be honest, _so do I._ It's the only way I know how."

The way he spoke almost broke her heart, it was so cold. _So empty. _She imagined that in his position, discretion and loyalty were key to keeping his private life just that..._private_. There was only one scenario she imagined and that involved prostitutes. The thought disgusted her until she mused that a man in his position wouldn't just pick any hooker up off the street. There was probably an agency for high class women who he could have sex with and not have to date.

_I don't do the girlfriend thing...hearts and flowers_. The words struck another chord with her as she related them to her conclusion. She didn't want to ask him outright; it was his business to tell. Like Kate said, he's never seen in public with a woman, so she must be an exception to these women he just 'fucked'.

The way he was looking at her now was so earnest, like he expected her to put two and two together and then flee at the knowledge. But she couldn't. She wouldn't after such a wonderful evening. With a sudden bravado she didn't know she was capable of, she rose to the challenge.

"Then _fuck _me Christian." She breathed. She brought her leg up to wrap around his thigh, pushing him closer to her, a clear indication that she wanted this.

He exhaled harshly, smiled in relief and then kissed her hungrily, his hands sliding over her arms and down behind her to undo her bra. He unclasped it easily and pulled it up and towards her wrists which he tied with it. She'd already realised that he must have a phobia of being touched, so she wasn't too bothered to be bound even though she yearned to run her hands over his muscular torso. Perhaps he'd share the why of his phobia with her one day.

As soon as she was bound he caught her eye again. "Keep your arms up." She nodded her obediently, knowing that her voice would catch as she squirmed under his attention.

He kissed her again, his hands gliding gently from her face to her neck and down to her breasts, her nipples taut and begging for attention which he laved upon them with his mouth. He licked and flicked them with his tongue, gently biting the engorged tips in turn. She thought she might orgasm just from this feeling, her mewls in time with the clenching of her abdominal muscles.

"So luscious and sweet." He moaned as he moved between each breast.

The tension was building as he moved down her body, kissing and sucking on the flesh of her stomach and hips. He looked up at her just as she opened her eyes to look down upon feeling him grip her panties at each hip.

He slid them down her legs quickly and threw them off somewhere, then moved back up her legs which she tried to keep together as she felt that shyness creep back in. She was now fully naked and under the ravenous gaze of Christian who was now removing his shirt slowly to reveal a torso to make Adonis weep. In the darkness of the room and the haze of lust, she could make out some tiny scars but dare not ask what they were. She intuited that they were something to do with his aversion to touch.

She watched in barely concealed awe as he removed his pants, boxers and socks, revealing more of the defined abs and that 'v' shaped muscle that was almost like a sign pointing down for your attention. _This way to nirvana_.

With a gulp she took in the size of him and sucked in a breath as he bent her knees and spread her legs, opening her to him. She mewled again when he took himself in hand and pumped his erection as he stared at the soft flesh between her legs. It was more than hot watching him touch himself.

He moved to kneel before her and released his hand to stroke his fingers teasingly from her knee to groin, up and down. The sinful way he moved his gaze from between her legs to her eyes was turning her on so much, she could feel the wetness pool on her heated skin. Without warning he moved and had hold of her hips from underneath, his tongue laving her folds and sucking on her clit. Within seconds she felt the build of tension, a tightness in her womb and a tingling sensation like no other as she came, her hips bucking against his hold.

"Oh God, _Christian_...Oh, my...Oh!" Her head thrashed as he continued to lap at her, the sensation prolonging the tingling feeling until he moved his mouth to kiss her thighs again. She felt herself twitch with aftershocks as she tried to heave in breath.

"Fuck Ana you're so responsive...I could do that again…" She moaned at the thought. _Yes please!_

"Yes…" She felt boneless but now that her heart was racing, she wanted more.

She heard as well as felt him chuckle against her thigh as he moved up her body, once again leaving a trail of kisses behind and paying her nipples some attention. He kissed her deeply, the faint taste of her musk more of a turn on than she was expecting. She felt his skin press into hers as they writhed together, legs twisted and her arms coming down around his neck.

She felt him tense, but rushed to reassure him. "I won't touch..._I promise_." With a grateful smile he relaxed.

As promised she kept her arms around his neck, her fingers threaded in his hair that was even more tousled than usual. In a move that surprised her, Christian rolled onto his back bringing her with him and placing her so she was now straddling him, his erection pushed against her wet flesh.

She squirmed as his length slid over the sensitive bundle and she rocked her hips instinctively as he proceeded to untie her wrists.

"I don't have any condoms...I don't like them and I hadn't planned this...I can pull out in time, if you're O.K with that?" His flustered admission a desperate plea to continue.

"It's O.K, I'm on the shot." He quirked a brow, probably questioning his assumption that she was inexperienced. She needed to explain without ruining the moment.

"My mom insisted when I turned sixteen and I've kept it going. The prospect of her teenage daughter getting pregnant like she did, not one she wanted to repeat. So…" She shrugged her shoulders, hoping it was enough to keep him going.

"Are you sure Anastasia? Once I've had you I know I'll not want to stop…" She bit her lip as her insides clenched and she fell forward to kiss him for being so damn sexy.

_She was going to have sex._ The very thing she'd promised herself she'd give to the man she loved. This wasn't love, but whatever it was it gave her the go-ahead to surrender to this man. There was no way that this was meaningless sex; the connection between them was obvious and if it ended tomorrow, she'd go home sated and in the knowledge that she'd been adored if only for a short while.

"Yes...I'm sure." She'd barely got the words out and his hands that had been locked on her hips, took hers one by one.

He spread his fingers and so hers locked with his and with his other hand he brought her hand to his erection, her touch causing him to shiver. She was nervous as she was unsure what to do, the mechanics evading her.

"You're in control Anastasia, like this we can go at your pace." He held his hand over hers, moving them together to pump his cock before stroking it through her folds.

The barely concealed restraint he was showing did nothing but steel her resolve to bring him to ecstasy like he had her. She moved forward slightly and moved the swollen head into the warmth of her core. With one hand still guiding him, his now resting in a clenched fist by his side and the other brought up to her breast, she sank down slowly and took him into her body.

She'd heard the stories, even the facts about losing your virginity. About how it hurt and that there was blood as the hymen broke. All and none of it were true; every female had a different tale to tell. It was tight and she breathed deeply to relax her muscles that were clenched and as she did so, she sank further into him until he was fully sheathed.

There'd been no pain, no obvious breaking of barriers; only a delicious fullness that had her holding him tight inside. Christian moaned as she experimented with her muscles, clenching and unclenching as she rose up on her knees and back down again.

"Fuck! Oh fuck Ana." The expletives and the moans spurred her on and she moved faster, loving the fullness and tingling sensation she felt every time she leaned forward.

She arched her back as the pleasure built and encouraged Christian to move. She could feel beads of sweat trickling down her back as he rose up to meet her, their bodies now smacking together loudly.

Before she knew it she was on her back and Christian was kissing her passionately as he pistoned into her. Her arms once again held above her head, she could feel the edge of another orgasm approaching and moaned loudly. He rubbed her clit, forcing the orgasm to burst from her, the spasms causing him to cry out as he came too, pumping hard as he spilled into her.

Without care for his touching issue, Christian fell forward his bare chest connecting with hers through a sheen of perspiration. Their chests heaved as they regained their breathing and his erection softened inside her. His lips found her neck as he regained his senses and she arched to accommodate his caresses as they moved towards her mouth.

"Incredible...amazing...wonderful." He punctuated each word with a soft kiss as he got closer.

A slow languid kiss that lasted several minutes followed and Ana revelled in Christian's superior kissing skills. She wondered if he added that to his résumé and could help the smile the formed as she thought of it.

"And just what has you smiling Miss Steele?" He moved away to lie on his side, his now flaccid penis leaving a wet trail across her thigh.

"Apart from the mind-blowing sex?" She too turned on her side, her free hands now tracing the contour of his bicep which he kept purposefully flexing - for her pleasure she assumed.

"Mind-blowing you say - _I aim to please_." He smirked boyishly. "_Tell me_." He ordered in that bossy tone of his.

"I was wondering if you listed your superior kissing skills on your résumé." She looked at him through her lashes, a twinge of bashfulness blooming now that her high had waned slightly.

He looked pleased with himself at her admission. "Superior...I'm flattered Anastasia. My kissing skills are seldom used - I dusted them off especially for you."

She looked at him incredulously. "Really? You didn't kiss your..._other women_ like that then?"

He narrowed his eyes and took a good while to answer her. "No Anastasia, I didn't kiss my _other women_. It's not how it worked with them...it seems I'm breaking all the rules with you."

She propped herself up on her elbow and reached for the sheet to cover herself, not just from self-consciousness, but because the tone of the conversation had turned serious. Christian moved to do the same, helping her pull the sheet up as he draped it over his hip.

"What do you mean it wasn't like that and that you're breaking the rules, _what rules_?" She asked, nervous of the answer. That alarm bell that should have gone off before, suddenly ringing in the distance. The warnings, the words spoken between him and Elena, not forgetting the strange interaction with the red-headed girl.

He licked his lips, an action that distracted her more than she'd have liked in the moment. With a sigh he sat up further and encouraged her to do so, it seemed like this conversation was getting more serious.

"You remember I told you I don't date...or do the girlfriend thing?" She nodded, a frown at her displeasure for his admission obvious.

"How can I not?" She mumbled.

"My tastes are very singular. I and like minded _people _engage in consensual relationships that are far from vanilla."

He'd confused her. "Vanilla?" She asked, turning to face him, now curious.

"Vanilla sex, _normal_ sex like we just had." That was what that was called huh? It felt pretty spectacular to her, so she said so.

"Well, if that was vanilla then it's my favourite flavour." She smiled and looked down at her fingers twisting in her lap, a little crestfallen and uncertain that he'd enjoyed it as much as she had.

He raised her chin to look at him. "I think I may have underestimated how delicious vanilla can be…" His sincerity showing in earnest. The question as to what he considered normal or not normal still hanging in the air.

"When you say _far from vanilla_, you mean far from _normal_...what do you usually do that's _not _normal?" She wasn't going to like this, she knew it.

His hand ran through his hair and he took a deep breath, exhaling it as if readying himself for some intolerable truth.

"I think I better show you my playroom…" _Playroom?_ She swallowed nervously, crossing her arms in front of her as he moved to get out of bed and went to the closet and took out a silk robe.

"Something tells me that this is not going to be where you play your Xbox…" He came around the bed and offered her his hand and the robe.

He laughed sardonically. "You'd be right about that Anastasia. You might want to put this on." He gestured to the robe as he found his pants and pulled them on.

She slipped the robe on, wondering briefly why he had a women's robe in the closet. She was sure she looked like a gazelle about to bolt, but her curiosity was killing her.

_You know what they say curiosity did to the cat..._

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_Thanks for reading_

_Subs x_


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I want to thank everyone who sent words of encouragement and support following the stinger I got for Ch6. I really appreciate you all so much and apologise if I've not got round to replying directly. I've had a hell of a week - I interviewed for a new job (a completely different career change from office accounts to companion carer for the elderly) and got it, handed in my resignation and to top that have had sick kiddies to contend with - Croup anyone? I apologise for any errors, I'm absofknlutely knackered!

I've struggled with this chapter - I did two versions, one had Ana leaving earlier, but it didn't achieve what I needed it to information wise. I hope you like this one and the events that will inevitably follow in subsequent chapters. The move to Escala, Ana's new job, meeting the Grey family and Christian's out of character pursuit of her. I promise some dark drama - there's always got to be a hospital scene for somebody!

I'm not going to ask for reviews. If you don't like the story, please just be gracious and move on. If you do like it, then I thank you sincerely. Go to Pinterest for visuals.

Subs X

* * *

Creep part 2 - Radiohead

I don't care if it hurts

I wanna have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice

When I'm not around

You're so fucking special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

She's running out the door

She's running out

She run run run run...

Run...

* * *

With one hand in his, the other worried the cuticle of her thumb nervously as they slowly walked along the plush carpeted floor to another innocuous door.

"Wait here, I need to get something." Christian rounded the corner in the direction they'd first come from earlier this evening.

She stood bolt upright; her body tense as she imagined what was on the other side of the door. In hindsight she realised that she was right to fear him. He had secrets, which was obvious - one of them would be revealed behind this door. Her imagination wanted to run wild but didn't know in which direction.

_Playroom… "Mistress says his set-up is exquisite...the best"._

The words of the redheaded waif drift into her mind and synapses start firing, the remnants of her lusty haze blown away with the memory. She feels adrift, her inexperience a hindrance as she tries to imagine just what this means.

_Mistress...Master…_ It dawned on her that she'd heard those terms before, in a context that she found difficult to accept. A book she wished she'd never read.

Before she could dwell on it any more, Christian reappeared with a key in one hand and small plastic object in the other that he handed to her as he stopped in front of the door.

"What's this?" She asked puzzled.

He looked from the object to her eyes, he looked nervous. "It's a flash drive, on it you'll find a contract that I'd like you to consider."

Her brows rose in surprise. "A contract? For what?" She held the drive between her fingers, eyeing it suspiciously.

"Let me show you." He took her hand again and she allowed it, all the more nervous for his cryptic words.

With a click of the lock, the door opened into a darkened room and Christian stepped forward and to the right, flicking the light switch on.

As her eyes adjusted momentarily to the light, her vision was swathed in red. She stayed in the doorway, frozen in shock as she took in what the room revealed.

She felt the blood drain from her face as her breathing faltered. Bringing her arms around herself in comfort, she swallowed the nervous ball of tension that had built as she looked to Christian in disbelief.

Her curiosity did indeed take her to places she wished she'd never seen or imagined, that curiosity was what made her feet move when her mind was screaming at her to turn and run.

She only moved a couple of feet inside the door, reassured that it would stay open as long as she was in its path. In the centre of this huge room a four poster bed with a red leather mattress dominated the space. She saw the hoops on each post and followed the carved wood up to the ceiling where a giant mirror reflected the base in its entirety. Her eyes roamed around frantically, a split leather bench with manacles attached caught her eye next and she gulped as she imagined what it was used for. A hip height table of highly polished wood stood to the side, it too with brass loops and in the same wood of a large X tilted at an angle to the wall next to it.

As her gaze moved up, racks on the walls brought her hand to her mouth, stifling a gasp. Each rack was lined with row upon row of implements, some of which she'd never seen before.

The belts, whips and crops she recognised in a completely generic context. It all made her shudder, but she blanched at the canes, some of a thickness more like a stick that could break bones. _Oh shit._

"You're a _sadist_?" She whispered anxiously, taking a step back towards the door. Was he going to hurt her?

He moved towards her, reaching out to take her hand but she stepped back in fear. She didn't want to be sucked into this...this insanity.

"No Anastasia, I'm a Dominant...there's a difference. Don't be scared, _please_." His face was imploring and gentle, such a contradiction to their surroundings.

"How can I not be?!" She exclaimed shaking like a leaf. What was he going to do to her? Whip and debase her, _like de Sade?_

He moved towards her slowly and reluctantly she allowed him to take her hand and lead her further into the room. He led her to a dark red Chesterfield couch that overlooked the bed. She sat nervously on the edge of her seat, terrified of the sight of all the instruments of torture within his grasp.

"I'm not going to hurt you Anastasia...not unless you want me to." He rubbed his thumb across her knuckles, his tone serious.

"What?!" She exclaimed, her eyes wide. Why would she _want _him to hurt her?

"You want to hurt me?" She shifted away from him a little, her hands fiddling with the flash drive nervously.

"Not in the way you're thinking. There can be a lot of pleasure in a little bit of pain Anastasia. I want you to trust me - to submit yourself to me for _both _our pleasure."

"But I don't like pain." She shook her head, disbelieving that anyone would.

"Don't let your fear control you Anastasia, pain is a state of mind - it _can _be pleasurable."

"I doubt that." She muttered petulantly.

"I'd like to teach you that you're wrong." He answered seductively. Five minutes ago she would have been turned on by his tone, but now it gave her chills. He was still divinely gorgeous, his toned torso and strong arms bare still, but now she knew _what_ he was, his appeal faltered.

"You want to dominate me..._in here_?" She looked at the bed and then to the scary looking implements on the walls.

"Yes, very much so." His eyes burned with intensity. She swallowed nervously, staring at him and trying to fathom why he would want this...with her, after what they'd just done. Wasn't that good enough for him?

"The contract on here…" She looked at the innocent looking piece of plastic with distaste.

"It's to be my submissive. It's very detailed, it outlines what we can expect from each other, what you're prepared to submit to sexually and your limits." He moved closer to take both her wrists, she gripped the flash drive in her fist so hard she felt the plastic casing crack.

"Why me? Whatever gave you the impression that this would be appealing to me Christian? Why like this?" She shook her head in disbelief.

He released one of her hands to run it through his hair, a nervous habit most probably. It seemed ironic that he'd just admitted to wanting to dominate her, yet he was nervous. Why did he want this?

"I hoped you would...because I'm drawn to you Anastasia...your beguiling innocence and beauty. I couldn't resist you; I want you to be mine." _Oh_. If she wasn't surrounded by implements of torture she might flattered, but at this moment in time she was just plain scared.

"What about before, _why can't it be like that, didn't you enjoy it_?" She asked desperately.

"Of course I did. What happened earlier was good but in here it would be amazing. _We_ could be amazing." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles softly. She pulled her hand back and he looked disappointed.

_Good_? That hurt, she'd thought it pretty damn spectacular but he obviously didn't think so. She sat trying to understand his words and with now with his comments from before - they started to fall into place with painful clarity.

"Instead of _'vanilla'_?" She asked, crestfallen. She thought for a moment. "I wouldn't be your girlfriend would I? I'd be your sex slave, beaten black and blue." _Oh God_, she wanted to cry.

He shook his head. "I'm not a monster Anastasia. You'd not be a slave and I wouldn't beat you black and blue. There would be some pain - enough to turn your behind more of a rosy pink. Believe me, you'd be surprised at how much pleasure it could bring." His eyes seem to glaze over at that revelation.

She shook her head in didn't want to be in pain. Pain and pleasure were not synonymous to her. You've got to be kidding me..._I don't think so Mr Grey_.

"If you agreed to be my submissive, I'd be devoted to you and you to me." He implored, as if it would sweeten the deal for her.

"I wouldn't get you if I didn't agree to this contract?" He shook his head in the negative.

"No, you would be here Friday through to Sunday. You'd sleep in the room we were in earlier." _Not with him?_ She'd just see him at weekends in his red room of pain doing goodness knows what.

They wouldn't sleep together. The reason for the women's robe dawned on her; the beautifully decorated room they'd had sex in - her first time, was the room his submissive's slept in. She wondered why - to escape from him, to rest, heal? The thought sickened her.

There would be no passion, no fun..._no possibility of love_. If she wanted just a sexual relationship, she'd whore herself out every weekend at the local clubs for a one night stand.

This was why he was never seen with a date or girlfriend; it was all behind closed doors. No dates, no calling him to chat, no calling him her boyfriend.

She felt inadequate to deal with this. It was all very 'Story of O' - the book she'd wished she'd read. That degraded tale, in which a woman would allow herself to be used in such a way to keep her man happy, appalled her.

"I'd be chained up in here for you to fuck me and whip me all weekend? Me all 'yes sir - no sir'?" She spat acidly.

He tugged on his hair again, his lips pursed and eyes narrowed.

"Chained, cuffed, tied there's so many ways I could restrain you. I'd like to take you over my knee right now for your smart mouth." If he was trying to be sexy with her it just fell flat. It made her want to cry.

"Are you serious?! You want to spank me, _why_?" She asked incredulously.

"I'd like to but I won't - you've not signed anything. Once you signed, if you require punishment then you'd accept it without argument. I'd punish you for your disobedience or breaking the rules and you would allow it and learn obedience from it. Punishment would depend on your pain tolerance. Whips are mostly for punishment, as are the belts and canes."

_Obedience_. _Whips, belts and canes! S_he swallowed, disgusted. "I'd like to go now...I've heard enough." Rising from the chair, she turned quickly and walked to the door as he jumped to his feet.

"Anastasia please...please don't go. I'm not explaining it well...I've never had to before. I've always been with like-minded people."

"I suggest you go and find somebody as depraved as you then." She called out, not stopping as she hurried away from him to the room they had sex in. _Vanilla sex._ Wonderful, amazing vanilla sex. It was tainted now and then something occurred to her.

He'd followed her and stood in the doorway, looking panicked.

"_Why_?" She had started to cry, the hurt of her realisation stabbing her like a knife. It had been a onetime thing.

"Why what?" He asked moving towards her, she stepped back thankful that the bed was between them.

"Why did you have sex with me in here?" He looked confused. "Did you want to reel me in before you dropped the whole sexual domination bomb? Are you _that _arrogant? _That cruel_?"

He had the gall to look guilty and it made her nauseous, she brought her hands up to her mouth in despair.

"You made love to me..._no_, _had sex with me_ in your submissives bedroom. You took my virginity in a bed that countless of your sex slaves have slept in!" She shuddered in disgust.

He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the floor.

"Why do you do this? Why would any sane person want that done to them?" She cried pointing in the direction of the red room and getting more animated each question she asked.

His mouth opened and closed, not finding the words to answer her.

The epiphany came like the pieces of a jigsaw finally coming together and she closed her eyes as the tears spilled down her cheeks.

"_Oh God_, that woman- Elena and her _friend_, they're like this, aren't they? What she said to me. You...the way you are and the _'I don't do romance, I fuck hard'._..and the no touching - it all makes sense now. You and her..._urgh_." She fought the rise of bile as she thought of Christian and the older woman. Their familiarity - they were the same. Did he do it to her or her to him?

"Ana please, it's not like that - she's just a friend." Friends! _Yeah right!_ She might be young and naive but she wasn't stupid. He had to have learnt this from someone.

She shook her head, not wanting to listen to any justification he might have. She threw her bra in her bag and looked around frantically for panties and pulled them on, keeping her modesty with the robe still tied. She did the same with her dress, stepping into it and turning her back, pulled it up until she was forced to take the robe off. She didn't want to be naked in front of him.

Finding her shoes and jacket she moved towards the door, realising that she'd need to go past him to get out.

"Anastasia please don't leave like this…" He reached out to her, only to put his arm back down as she flinched from his touch.

Standing a few feet from him, she implored him in the strongest voice she could muster.

"Please let me go…"

* * *

"Please let me go…"

Her reaction leaves him reeling. The fear, the disgust of his former relationship with Elena, the hurt. She's looking at him as if he's some psycho who's going to take her prisoner. _No! _

But he's guilty as charged - for taking her virginity when he really should have let her be. He's guilty for wanting somebody pure and light, not deviant or damaged or fucked up. For wanting a taste of what it could be like to be 'normal', for wanting her to want him.

Reluctantly he steps back to allow her to pass and follows her like a shadow as she hurries towards the elevator, the click of the call button on repeat in the otherwise silent hallway.

She stands in front of the elevator, her head down and looking anywhere but at him. All he wants to do is take her in his arms and beg her to understand - but he can't. To do that would admit that what he did was wrong; that he had a heart and he wasn't capable of that kind of vulnerability.

Although he's not welcome, he has to make sure she'll be O.K. She's a long way from home with no means to get back. He knows from the background check he'd run on her that her funds were limited and wouldn't stretch to a taxi all the way home. That would be her only option at this time of night.

"I can fly you back to Portland." He offers lamely, knowing already she wouldn't accept. As he thought, she shakes her head.

"Then please let Taylor take you home, I need to know you get home safely." Again she refuses him.

"I don't want you or any of your cronies that are in on your twisted lifestyle coming anywhere near me. I'll find my own way." Her bitter words cut him to the quick.

The elevator signals its arrival and the doors open, swallowing Anastasia's small frame as she hurries through the open doors. Before she presses the button, effectively taking her away from him, she looks up finally and her tearful eyes devastate him.

"You were right...you're not the man for me, you should stay away." The doors close and despair drops him to his knees, head in his hands.

She's gone. Gone thinking he's a monster - _is he a monster?_ He brought an angel to his lair and tried to seduce her, what else did that make him if not a monster?

His phone, always a constant presence in his pocket, vibrates and he pulls it out to see Taylors number.

"Sir, is Miss Steele leaving?" Taylor would see she was from the security cameras. The same one that would have seen their passionate embrace earlier.

"Yes, she doesn't want company but please make sure she gets home safely." He answers morosely.

"I'm in the lobby now; I'll make sure of it." There's brusqueness to his tone that Christian knows he deserves, but he's grateful nonetheless.

Inside his head, the little boy that yearns for somebody to stay with him, even though he's damaged is screaming at him. _Why did you spoil it, how could you let her go? She could have loved us! _

How could he have so monumentally fucked this up? Things were going so well; the dinner, the helicopter flight, even the vanilla sex which he'd found surprisingly gratifying. He had enjoyed just spending time with her, talking with her and taking pleasure in her enjoyment of what he was able to provide for her. But the thought of her in his playroom, restrained and crying out from his touch was what spurred him on to show her, to tempt her.

Her frightened face he wouldn't forget anytime soon. He'd taken her innocence, led her on and then dropped the bomb, just like she said. He'd hoped that she'd be turned on by it; _they'd _all been so turned on by it. She'd been so sensual when they made love, even in her innocence. He'd been so sure she'd see the pleasurable side and not the darker side. He so wanted to show her how pleasurable it could be.

Rising from his knees, he made his way back to the playroom and stood in the doorway where she'd been, wondering when it had morphed into the torture chamber she'd so obviously seen.

She'd seen the restraints, the instruments of discipline, the black and red, cold and hard. It was _normal _to him, but to a warm bright young woman like Anastasia, he could see why she thought it was all about pain. She'd not seen the intimate toys or the ways he could pleasure her for hours, bringing her phenomenal orgasms. She'd seen the myriad of ways to inflict pain and had run.

_What had he done?_

This was why he had a system. A process to make sure he was matched perfectly with a willing submissive. Buy he'd not _wanted _them. They were a means to an end - he _needed _them. He _wanted _Anastasia and wanted her badly. He'd never wanted any of them before, and now the one thing he wanted didn't want him. She was sickened by him, her visibly paled complexion a beacon of fear as she held herself together, arms in front of her like a shield.

His phone buzzed with a text message from Taylor.

_Persuaded Miss S to let me take her back to Portland._

He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she'd be safe with Taylor. He typed out a reply to his right hand man.

_Thank you T, take tomorrow off._ He knew it would be dawn by the time Taylor got back and he'd need to sleep. It was the least he could do.

He wondered if it was possible to salvage any kind of connection with Anastasia. His thoughts had been consumed with her daily and the prospect of not seeing her again pained him. He pulled up her number, hesitating before he pressed the 'call' button. She wouldn't answer, he was sure of that, but at least he could hear her voice and tell her how sorry he was.

It rang three times before her voicemail picked up and he heard her warm voice, albeit a recording.

_Hi this is Ana, leave a message._

"I'm sorry...so sorry - for everything." He hesitated before ending the call. "Be safe Anastasia."

* * *

When Ana got home it was past 3am and naturally Kate was in bed. She didn't know whether to be happy or sad about that. At this moment in time she could've done with a little comfort.

At the unwelcome thought that she wouldn't be able to tell a soul due to the NDA, she collapsed exhausted onto the couch. Her body hummed, so full of adrenaline yet so mentally worn she doubted she could sleep if she tried. Even the long drive back hadn't eased her nerves and the upset.

It had taken Taylor explaining that he knew she didn't have the means to get home and his assurance that he wasn't into anything like his employer, to allow him to drive her. How he knew about her means, she didn't know. Christian Grey probably owned her bank, so he knew how little she had - certainly not enough for cab fare all the way to Portland. With no buses running at that time of night she'd had little choice.

She'd cried silently all the way home and had been touched when Taylor turned to offer her his handkerchief when they stopped at some lights. She'd seen him glancing at the in the mirror like a concerned parent and it gave her some relief to know that he didn't share the same deviant tendencies of his boss.

It was late enough that she should have fallen asleep; the steady rumble of the car, the darkness and the gentle classical music on the radio, but she was consumed with everything that had happened between her and Christian over the last week or so. It all raced through her mind and kept her pulse racing as she relived their strange encounters.

Why had she not seen the signs before now? They were all there, yet she was blinded by the attention he'd showered her with. She'd never felt that magnetic attraction to anyone before and having a hot guy like him pay attention to her had been a rush. She'd learnt a swift lesson in how lust blinds reality.

Once home, she'd thanked Taylor and he watched as she entered her apartment safely before driving away into the night.

She lay there staring up at the ceiling, her mind a whirl of vivid recollections of Christian looming over her, his strong body bringing her so much pleasure. Their kisses had been something else; the raw need and passion had been enough to make her orgasm before they'd even had sex. The thought made her clench her thighs, the sticky residue of their bodily fluids reminding her that she should shower. She was sure the scent of sex and Christian was all over her and sighed as she wished she could wash away the memories of the last few hours as easily as the evidence between her thighs.

Under the hot jets her mind wandered to the room Christian had showed her. She'd not imagined in a million years that rooms like that existed for real. Imagining Christian, whip in hand, ready to inflict a biting lash that would cause agonising screams, she broke down into sobs.

He'd been so attentive, sweet even. How could she reconcile the public and private personas? Why did he think she was masochistic? Submissive? She didn't think she gave that impression or invited people to take advantage. If that was how he saw her then she vowed if she ever saw him again, she would be tougher. She wouldn't be taken advantage of again.

Shutting off the water, she stepped out and noticed with shame that she felt sore. Her first encounter with sex had ended in a nightmare when it had started as a dream, except this dream left physical evidence. She looked at herself in the full length mirror opposite. The warmth of the shower highlighted her skin where he'd had his hands and she catalogued vague pink imprints of his fingers where they'd dug into her hips. The bloom of broken blood vessels on her neck and breasts where he'd sucked her skin around her nipples. As she remembered his touch, she imagined every lick, suck and bite leaving a trail visible to all and she couldn't help but feel that telltale surge from deep inside.

She sighed and tried to shake the thoughts away as she reached for her hairbrush. She couldn't' help but imagine what it would have been like if he'd taken her straight into the red room. Would he have tied her to the bed, manacled her to the cross? Fucked her and make her orgasm over and over again as he marked her flesh with his palm or worse?

_Stop it,_ she hissed to herself. _Stop thinking about it...it's over now_. Her shoulders slumped as her body now clean and warm, came down from the sustained adrenaline high and begged for sleep. They were moving today..._later_ and she really needed to get at least a few hours rest.

As it turned out, she slept deeply until a gentle knock on her door roused her.

"Morning Ana, rise and shine sleepyhead. I brought you tea" Kate yawned and placed her favourite China teacup on her bedside table before flopping down next to her.

Groggily she stretched. "Hi Kate, thanks for the tea. What time is it?"

Her friend rolled towards her, her brows raised in question. "Time to spill...sooo how was Mr Mogul?"

_Oh hell_, she'd have to lie because of that stupid NDA. "He was very attentive; he flew me to Seattle in his helicopter."

"No way!" Kate sat up in surprise. "Did you go to his place? Is it amazing? Did you...?" She waggled her brows in that way that just said '_did you fuck?'_

Ana blushed and rolled towards Kate, about to explain, instead Kate took her by the chin and rolled her neck to the side.

"Shit Steele you have a hickey! So you did do it?" Ana didn't think it was possible to be any more mortified.

"Oh God Kate, I'm so...embarrassed!" Kate giggled and flopped back down beside her. "We did...have sex - it was fantastic but..." She didn't know how to explain how it all went so horribly wrong without having to revealing the red room. It was off limits as a subject, so she decided to focus on how he'd deceived her; Kate would focus on that and be indignant for them both.

"But what honey?" Kate asked inquisitively. "Was he good to you?" She asked softly.

To start it had been wonderful, so that's what she decided to go with even though he'd been an asshole. She didn't know why she was defending him - maybe it was just easier than being angry.

"He was Kate, it was more than I could've hoped for my first time. But...but then he made it clear that he didn't do relationships and it went downhill from there." _Understatement_!

"Oh Ana, I'm sorry. First times aren't always like they are in the movies - mine certainly wasn't! But I'm glad that the actual experience was good for you. I'm not surprised he's not into the relationship thing though, I'd imagine his work keeps him pretty tied up."

Ana snorted, little did Kate know how close she was to the truth. More like he kept his 'work' tied up.

"I can't say I'm not disappointed Kate. We went to dinner and he showed me the sights from the sky - it was amazing. Escala is just stunning; I can't believe we're going to be living there! I just hope we don't run into him."

He had said they didn't share an elevator, so that left the lobby and the parking garage. Maybe she'd be lucky and avoid him.

"I can't think of a better way to make him want to see you again, than knowing you're living beneath him."

"What? We're beneath him? Kate... I don't think I _want _to run into him again...he's not - he's just too different. It wouldn't work."

"I thought you liked him?" She asked confused.

"It's not as simple as that Kate. He's not right for me...and _me _for _him_."

"That's bullshit Steele. You're a beautiful, intelligent and wonderful person that any guy would want, _including _Mr Mogul. You just wait, he'll come running and when he does, you're gonna make him work for it baby!"

Ana couldn't help but giggle. Kate's idealistic answer was so far from the mark. He may come running but she'd run equally as far away from him. There was no way she'd consider being with a man that wanted to cause her physical and inevitable emotional harm and get off on it. In the cold light of day the idea was laughable.

Their chatter was disturbed by the sound of their intercom buzzing. _Who could that be?_

"Ooh, that'll be Elliott! He's helping us move, isn't that great?" Kate leapt out of bed and tousled her hair in the mirror on Ana's dresser before hoisting her boobs up in her bodice for added cleavage. Ana laughed at her audacity; she was not the least bit bothered about covering up her short silky chemise to answer the door for her man.

Ana sighed wistfully. She was happy for Kate of course, but couldn't help the sliver of jealousy she felt at being denied equal happiness.

She rolled out of bed and grabbed her phone that was vibrating in her bag. It was a call from José. She'd forgotten that he'd agreed to help them move today and she'd been avoiding calling him after 'the incident'. It was time to face the music.

"Ana, hi!" He sounded nervous. So he should be she thought.

"Hi José. What's up?" She asked brusquely.

"Dios mío Ana, I'm _so_ sorry for the other night. I have no excuse...it was _so_ wrong of me to behave like that towards you. I hope you know that I feel really bad about it?"

She sighed heavily. They'd been friends since they were in junior high, always _just _friends and nothing more. She'd never put it together that he'd be attracted to her as she always thought of him like a brother. Of course, he was good looking but not really her type...not that she actually had a type - until recently.

_Apparently her type was brooding, gorgeous, sex-haired billionaires with secret bondage tendencies. _ She shook her head at the direction her thoughts took her to.

José was sincere in his apology; she knew that and even though he'd tried to kiss her, she knew he'd never have taken it any further, even with Christian's intervention. He could use the alcohol as an excuse and she'd accept that - after all, she'd behaved badly too, albeit not to José. The alcohol had made her brave and she'd ended up in the mogul's hotel room. Goodness knows what could have happened to her.

"Bad judgement all around José. I understand...you were drunk and drunken people do stupid things." _Like drunk dial controlling billionaires before throwing up and passing out. _

"Gracias al Señor. I don't know what I'd do if you never spoke to me again...I wouldn't blame you for it though and I'd expect the wrath of both our dad's. I'm so sorry for disrespecting you like that Ana." She smiled at his words and the thought of what punishment their dad's would dole out for him.

"They'd have you cutting grass with scissors, or cleaning both their cars with a toothbrush!" She laughed as she remembered just those punishments for the both of them when they'd been caught drinking Ray's whisky late one night when they'd had a camp-out. Ana had thrown up in their tent and José had ended up stumbling into the house to get something to clean it up and ended up passed out on the kitchen floor.

"That they would." José laughed along with her and the bitterness of the memory faded. There was no point in holding on to it, prolonging the misery and causing argument over what had been an error in judgement. If it had been anyone other than José, she wouldn't be so forgiving.

"I can't be mad at you for long. So, are you helping us move today or what?" Ana asked her friend, feeling better at having cleared the air.

"You bet. I'm on my way already; I'll see you in an hour or so. Bye Ana." She was pleased they'd have more help and that reminded her, Elliott was here.

She threw her clothes on quickly and dashed to the bathroom to clean her teeth before she went in search of breakfast and today's itinerary. Kate had handled the move, her exceptional organisational skills had the move down to art and Ana was happy to just be given orders.

_Maybe she was submissive after all?_

* * *

Up next for Ana - the move, a house-warming party, a new job. For Christian - new neighbours, mergers and acquisitions and a serious case of blue balls.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you so much, once again to those who've supported this story and have only lovely things to say. You're lovely people and I appreciate you spending time to read, review or follow/fave. I've had the odd comment that's really knocked my confidence and had to spend time defending MY plot/characters, so I've found this chapter hard. I hope you like it, I've tried to convey how torn Christian is and why he acted the way he did. He's not undergone a character transformation though.

This isn't a story that's full of unicorns and rainbows, regardless of the title. It's not dark and angsty either, but there will be moments as it adds to the plot. Future chapters will see our couple become used to one another without actually being together, although Christian wants it badly. All good things come to those who wait...

If you want to review and say nice things you have my gratitude. If you're going to be rude or berate me for not telling my story how you want, please don't kick a girl whilst she's down. That's just mean.

Subs x

* * *

A Lighter Shade of Grey - ch8

Christian watched the security feed as the moving van from Portland and its occupants unloaded the contents into the service elevator. The superior quality cameras in the parking levels were proving their worth as he spied on the group, desperate for any glimpse of Anastasia he could get.

He was surprised that the wealthy Kavanagh family weren't paying for professionals to heave boxes and furniture; he certainly wouldn't have allowed Anastasia to lift a finger should he have been in a position to organise it. Instead, Elliott was there helping out in between sucking face with Ana's roommate Kate Kavanagh.

To add to his already tormented state, his brother had called and told him he was helping his latest love interest and her roommate move into their new place at Escala. It amused Elliott more than Christian could understand, to hear how he lost his otherwise cool facade when he mentioned Anastasia to him. Apparently Kate had suggested him coming down for a house-warming drink later that night. To his relief, it appeared that Anastasia hadn't filled her friend in on what had happened between them the night before, or he doubted that Kate and Elliott would be so eager to get them together.

Anastasia had been on his mind since the moment she left; he didn't sleep last night for dwelling on the clusterfuck of events. Flynn had taken his early call this morning and the bastard had actually choked on his coffee as Christian recalled how the night had gone from heaven to hell in minutes.

To make matters worse, he saw that the boy who tried to force his tongue down Anastasia's throat was also there. Flexing his muscles and giving her longing looks as she bent and twisted showing her toned torso as her t-shirt rode up. She was obviously tired from the amount of yawning she did and he blamed himself for that.

If he'd have handled her differently, she could have been lying in his bed until late whilst professional movers packed and unpacked her things. But it wasn't so, hence him having to resort to stalking by security cameras.

He pushed back from the screen, throwing himself back into his chair petulantly. He was angry, jealous and frustrated at the position he now found himself in. He hated to fail, but hated rejection even more so. It wasn't a feeling he was accustomed to.

He wished he could rewind the last eighteen hours to a point where he approached the subject of his alternative lifestyle in a setting that wouldn't have Anastasia running for the hills - _or maybe not at all_. He wished he could relive the amazing sex they'd had, if only for the fact that he would have taken her to his room where no other had sex or slept. That way he wouldn't have seen the hurt in her eyes at being treated so disposably.

Nothing prepared him for the turmoil this wonderful, bright young woman brought into his life. He was ill equipped to deal with how she made him feel - his lack of experience with conventional relationships was his downfall. How desperately he wanted her. He wanted to scream and punch and kick at how impotent he felt; he wanted lash out at the world for no other reason than not being able to get his way in his usual style. Miss Steele had proven that proven that she was indeed, far from ordinary. Ordinary people did what he wanted them to do. As much as it stymied his subjugation of her, he also admired her for it.

These feelings that burst from him were irrational and sensational at the same time and he hated that she made him feel so out of control. He wished he could walk away from her, but in the short amount of time he'd known her, she was already under his skin.

Flynn had called him 'emotionally immature' and that his reaction was akin to being in love - an utterly ridiculous notion. His own response had been to tell him to 'go forth and multiply', an insult why Flynn was used to from him. But he knew his British head-doc might be on to something and reluctantly he agreed in the end. Flynn had even made the incredible suggestion that he needn't pursue Anastasia as a potential submissive. The fact that he'd been attracted to her independent of the BDSM community proved to Flynn that there was potential for Christian to evolve and try a new way.

He stared at the screen as he watched the party of four exit the elevator on the floor below him, eagerly anticipating the reaction of the object of his desire as she found the welcome gift he'd left for her.

She opened the door to their apartment and stooped to pick up the bottle of wine and small arrangement of flowers, smiling as she breathed in their fragrance. She let the others pass her by as she took the card from the envelope and read his simple words.

_Welcome to the building_

_Best Wishes_

_Christian Grey_

He saw her close her eyes and sigh, before looking up at the ceiling and frown, as if she were aiming her gaze right through the floor to him. She disappeared from his view as she entered her new apartment and closed the door.

_At least she accepted the gifts._

He clicked the window that held the view of her floor and it disappeared from view and pulled up his work emails. It might be the weekend but work never stopped for him - day or night it was what filled his life. A couple of hours later after ploughing through a stack of reports, he got a text from Elliott with an offer he was torn to accept.

_Bring more wine brother - and that sparkling personality of yours!_

He stared at the screen, part of him wanting to jump at the chance, the other reluctant to make matters worse. She'd told him to stay away and he should accept that, even if it wasn't in his nature to accept defeat. There was a primal part of him that wanted to keep what he'd claimed the night before. Knowing that she'd been taken by no other was more alluring than the most experienced sub. That knowledge was the biggest turn on and his biggest challenge yet. He'd had a taste of her and now he was addicted only after one hit. He wanted more but it was denied. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Nobody told him what he could or couldn't have, what he could or couldn't do - nobody denied him anything. Yet here he was his precious self-control in knots over a woman that had been in his grasp and snatched away. She'd been warming to him and it had been the best feeling he'd ever experienced.

Now he was sure she thought him a sadistic sex addict. _The trouble was that when he was at his most reflective, he thought that too. _

The minutes ticked by as he deliberated what to do, almost wearing a track into the floor with his pacing. He could just drop by with some wine; he didn't need to stay, did he? The prospect of even a glimpse of her and the chance to apologise again was enough to have him bolt to his bedroom to check his appearance. Something he'd never been preoccupied with doing before. It was just second nature. Now he wanted to try - for her.

He changed from his jogging pants into dark fitted jeans, a dark blue v-neck t-shirt that hugged his torso and arms and Converse. His hair was a little wild, he really needed a cut and a shave too, but he remembered how Anastasia had looked at him like she was desperate to touch him, so he left it.

He pulled out his phone as he walked over to his wine rack in the open plan kitchen, texting his brother who seemed more than happy to be unintentional matchmaker. He hoped she wouldn't kick him out, but invite him in, but it was more than he could hope for in the circumstances.

_Asshole. Red or white?_ He typed and then waited for the reply. Barely thirty seconds passed.

_Both! Get your asshole down here pretty boy. _

He smirked at Elliott's reply. If anyone deserved that moniker it was Elliott, not him. But the attention he gained in the press was responsible for his big brother's teasing. He didn't understand what the big deal was about his looks.

_On it manwhore_.

He grabbed two bottles of red and one white from his own vineyard and secured them in a leather bottle holder before dialling Taylor.

Taylor was ensconced in his private quarters with Gail, so he informed him that he'd be heading downstairs. The floor below them was split in two, half was now owned by Kate's father and the other half housed his staff including Taylor, Gail, the security suite and a couple of spare rooms. A specially built private staircase connected the two floors for easy access.

Using this staircase, he slipped through the staff apartment and down the hallway to Anastasia's. Uncharacteristically he hesitated before ringing the bell, his doubt gnawed at him. He could hear voices and laughter coming from inside, accompanied by loud music, then the voice he hoped he'd hear again. Anastasia.

"Just a minute!" She called out. A minute passed but made no move to open the door.

He was about to turn away when he heard the click of the lock and the door was opened to reveal Anastasia, deliciously flushed but not happy to see him.

* * *

Ana couldn't help but feel relaxed in Kate and Elliott's company, even if she was the third wheel. The other Grey brother had an easy-going personality that was completely the opposite of Christian's.

She wondered if she was in an alternate universe as she watched her friend get cosy with a guy she'd only recently met, but was happily inviting into their home. Kate never brought anyone home; she hooked up and went back to their place, rarely giving them a second chance to re-enact their night again. What could she say? Kate was a bit of a slut. She admitted it too.

The two love-birds were sharing photos with one another on their phones, so when the apartment buzzer sounded, she was left to get the door. Jose had left ten minutes ago, had he forgotten something? She couldn't imagine who else it would on a Sunday evening.

She checked around to see if he'd left something, calling out to the visitor as she did so.

"Just a minute!" She couldn't see that he had left anything, so dashed to the door and checked the spyhole. She sank back on her heels as she saw the magnified image of Christian Grey through the lens.

_What was he doing here? Couldn't she get just one day before running into him?_ The wounds were still fresh and she wasn't sure she could face him after the awful events of last night. The revelation of his 'preferences' were still whirling in her head alongside the memories of their hot sex.

She puffed out a breath, realising that she probably had the co-conspirator's on the couch to thank for his appearance at her door. She could just ignore him, but that would be rude - besides he'd have heard her say she was coming to answer the door and it would be childish to do so.

"Christian, what are you doing here?" She asked him in an annoyed tone as she opened the door.

"Anastasia, good evening. I come baring gifts...Elliott asked me to bring more wine. I'm sorry if I've interrupted anything." He sounded contrite and just a little bit awkward.

She shook her head. "Those meddling…" She was going to kill Kate and Elliott, _especially Kate_.

Was nothing sacred? She told Kate that Christian had basically said he wasn't into relationships and that they'd had great sex and Kate had taken that and turned it into a challenge. She should've known better.

"I know you don't want to see me Anastasia, but I'd appreciate a chance to talk."

This Christian, the polite generous guy before her who'd brought wine to keep their little moving in celebration going, was one that she could reconcile with. The Christian who wanted to chain her up and fuck her whilst using whips and canes was one that she couldn't. It wasn't that _he_ scared her. More like, his red room of pain and the prospect of pain scared her.

It was hard to look him in the eye, knowing what she did about him and the fact that the hurt was still fresh. Lost for what to say to him, she could do nothing but remember her manners and invite him in. She couldn't find it in her to tell him to get lost; it would involve having to reveal more than she was comfortable with to Kate.

"Come in." She mumbled unhappily to his feet. She opened the door further to allow him in and closed it behind her. She was about to follow him into the apartment but he'd stopped and she walked straight into his chest, once again.

He caught her hand as it touched his chest in reflex. "Anastasia..._Ana_. I need to apologise for my behaviour last night. I'm a fish out of water here…" His eyes searched her face and she swallowed thickly, still so very attracted to this overwhelmingly handsome man.

"What do you mean?" She whispered, aware that they had spectators who may or may not be listening in.

He seemed to be just as uncomfortable as she was at the prospect of being overheard. "Can we talk somewhere...please?"

She stared into those sparkling grey eyes and saw a nervous, vulnerable man; not the arrogant dominating figure she'd come to know. She bit her lip, indecision warring with her larger than life heart. Ray always said she was a sucker for a sob-story or a wounded animal.

"Please Ana...give me a chance to explain myself better?" He implored her. Whether he knew it or not, those puppy-dog eyes were going to break her.

"O.K...but don't make me regret this." She relented with a sigh. What could he possibly have to explain that would make last night salvageable?

She moved away from him and walked back into the living area, only to find Kate and Elliott conspicuously absent, leaving the couch conveniently open for them to 'talk'. She could hear gentle music and Kate's girlish giggling from beyond her bedroom door.

"Make yourself at home. Shall I take the wine?" She gestured to the couch and offered to take the fancy wine carrying gizmo that probably cost more than she usually paid for a bottle itself.

"Sure, I didn't know what to bring, so I brought both. Elliott wasn't specific." He passed her the wine and followed her to the kitchen area instead of taking a seat.

It didn't surprise her that Elliott had texted him. He and Kate had been thick as thieves since they started on the wine.

"I didn't tell them." She blurted out, a flush rising on her chest. "About…" she waved her hand in the direction of his apartment, not even sure how to explain the whole torture chamber setup. Not that she could say much at all, what with the NDA she'd signed.

Christian nodded sagely. "I figured as much. Thank you Anastasia, I appreciate that." He stood with his back against the base units, hands in his pockets and shoulders bowed as he looked at her through his lashes.

_Who was this man and what had he done with Christian the Dominant?_

She didn't know what to say to that, his apologetic persona throwing her perception of him all out of whack. She busied herself getting a pair of fresh wine glasses and the bottle opener. They'd managed to get everything away into cupboards and drawers with four pairs of hands, even if Elliott's had been on Kate's ass half the time.

"Allow me." He held his hands out for the wine and the opener and deftly pulled the cork from the bottle of white she'd selected from the three. His arms looked downright sinful in his fitted t-shirt; the sleeves were shorter than average and fitted around his biceps like a second skin. She daren't look any more as she was sure he'd catch her checking him out. It was hard to dislike him like this and she half wondered if she'd overreacted a little last night.

He poured them both a glass and handed hers to her, a small smile appeared on his face as their fingers brushed. It seemed that no matter what he said or did, there was still an attraction.

"Thank you." She said appreciatively before taking a sip.

"Mmm, this is really good." She reached to look at the label, studying the name and where it was from.

"It's a Riesling from a vineyard in Bohemia in the Czech Republic that I bought a couple of years ago. They have a great Pinot Noir too...that's the red I bought." He seemed proud to offer up that information and she could tell why.

He might have a seriously kinky sex life, but the man certainly could wine and dine you. His taste was exceptional and she knew he had a penchant for taking small, often failing companies and helped turn them around. It had been one of the lesser known admirable traits she'd discovered when she'd been snooping on the internet about him. No doubt this vineyard had one sexy benefactor.

She nodded in appreciation. "Maybe I'll try that another night, I think this will be enough for me tonight, I've an interview tomorrow." He held up his glass to hers.

"Na zdraví and good luck in your interview." He clinked their glass together and she couldn't help but smile. This Christian was as charming as ever.

"Cheers and thank you." She took a good gulp of wine, savouring it in her mouth before swallowing. She might have needed the courage, but she wasn't about to down a good wine without appreciating it first.

"Shall we…" She gestured back to the couch, suddenly nervous about what he was going to say, but she'd rather be sitting than standing for whatever it was.

"Of course. Where are you interviewing?" He let her lead them over and he let her sit first. Instead of sitting at the opposite end, he sat right next to her and turned his body and so their knees were touching.

"Oh, for small publishing house called SIP." No, she didn't fall for the lure of the shiny offices of GEH.

She concentrated on her wine glass, her free hand fiddled with the zipper on the couch cushion anxiously as she waited for him to speak, the small talk just made her feel awkward. If she didn't find it so hard to resist him, she'd have stopped him at the door, but here they were. She found the gap in conversation hard to leave alone.

"Thank you for the flowers by the way, they're beautiful. Peonies and Freesias are my favourites." She'd loved their large delicate blooms and the sweet scent, so had placed them in their vase on the coffee table in front of them. She stared at them, hoping that he would say what he needed to end this awkward meeting.

His fingers grazed her chin, making her look up at him and what she saw made her catch her breath. He looked at her with such longing in his eyes and daresay it, affection before releasing her.

"What did you want to say to me Christian? I haven't changed my mind in the last day." She shrugged. He took a moment to answer.

"Ana...I've never had to explain my lifestyle before - _to anyone._ What I do, I do for a reason and have for a long time." He stopped to take a sip of his wine, like it was courage. "The only time I've been with a woman outside of that lifestyle... is with _you_." His eyes locked with her as if he was trying to read her mind, or trying to get her to understand some hidden meaning.

Wow, she'd figured that he didn't sleep around from what Kate had found out about him and from what he'd said before, but never? What about when he lost his virginity, when he was a teenager?

"Never before?" She asked disbelieving his admission. He must have been swarmed with girls when he was at high school.

He shook his head and seemed embarrassed to admit it.

"What about your first time? _Surely_…" Surely there had been just plain old vanilla fumbling around?

He shook his head again slowly. "My first time was far from conventional and at the time I didn't know any different."

She struggled to comprehend that this gorgeous man had only ever had the kind of sex he'd alluded to in his..._in that room_. This news made her brain hurt with knowledge that he'd not had a typical initiation into sex...that was why he had that room upstairs.

"O.K. I'm not sure I really want to know any more than that Christian. This really isn't any of my business." Why she needed to know about any of this confused her.

"Ana please, what I'm trying to say is that I have my reasons for being the way I am. I had...a very difficult start in life, one that left me pretty fucked up to be frank. I don't like to be touched, you might have noticed…" She nodded that she had noticed. The way he'd always held her hands away from his torso and back was obvious.

"I've never let anyone sleep in my bed...or even had sex in my bedroom - ever. I don't sleep well…" _Oh_. That surprised her.

She thought about what he said about not liking to be touched, his rough start in life and the absence of anyone to share his bedroom and didn't like what she came up with. He must have been abused somehow and whatever had happened to him left him reeling from human contact. He didn't sleep well - that could only mean he had nightmares which she imagined him not wanting to expose a lover to.

"Is that why we didn't go to your room? Why we were in the other room?" She asked tentatively.

He nodded and took another big sip of his wine. "Yes. It wasn't a conscious choice Ana...to be entirely honest with you, I never had sex with any of my...with _anyone _in that room. Only in the playroom."

It was a strange relief to know that and she couldn't help but feel guilty about the churlish way that she'd berated him about his choice to take her to that room - his 'playroom'. Would it have been any better if he had taken her to his bedroom, if he'd actually had sex with his 'lovers' in his own bed? It would have been no different from any other guy.

"So, they just slept in there?" She asked.

"Yes." He reached for her free hand, holding her fingers gently. "I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings Anastasia. Like I said, I'm a fish out of water. I really don't know what I'm doing and in that process, have treated you less that you deserve."

"Oh." It was really very hard to reconcile that the man sitting before her, who was utterly open and vulnerable, was the same man who'd seduced her and propositioned her last night.

He may have admitted he'd not handled things well last night, but also he admitted that it was the only way he knew. He wanted her that way; he had obvious issues and was set in his ways. An apology and admittance didn't erase the fact that she wasn't his type and no amount of helicopter rides and fancy dinners would persuade her otherwise.

"I'm not submissive Christian...I don't want to be subservient to any man who I'd be in a relationship with...and that is what I want, a _boyfriend_. Not a Master, an agreement, or a contract...not a weekend lover. I want more than just a sexual relationship. I especially don't want one where my partner gets his kicks from physically harming me...I'm not wired that way."

He looked uncomfortable with her explanation, like being a boyfriend was something abhorrent. "I know." He sighed. "I don't know how to do anything else Anastasia. It's what I need...but I want you, so very very much."

"I'm really flattered Christian, but I can't be what you need and neither can you be what I _want and need_. I'd call it stalemate."

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his messy locks in frustration. "I wish you could know how amazing it could be…there's really so much you don't understand."

From the details of the flash drive contents that she'd looked at briefly this morning, she could well imagine. The terms and list of activities and 'equipment' had both turned her on and horrified her. She had to admit that the thought of being immobile whilst he pleasured her was appealing; it was the subservience and pain aspect that she just couldn't comprehend. All the rules and punishments were just outrageous.

"I guess I'll never know. And for your information Christian, I thought what we did was amazing already."

She might not have any comparison, but he had definitely rocked her world. It was hard not to remember his glorious body and exhilarating touch every minute she'd been away from him, even after their bust-up. He obviously found it lacking if he wanted all the 'add-ons'.

"So did I." _O.K then, maybe he didn't feel that way_. He pinned her with his stare, the heat in his gaze lit her libido on fire. _If only..._

He swallowed the last of his wine and pushed up from the couch. "I should go, it's getting late…"

It was barely 10pm, but she could feel a weary slump coming on. Why was she so disappointed? Only last night she wanted nothing to do with him and now...now she wished he could just be 'normal'. Just your average gorgeous billionaire - without the BDSM dungeon.

She followed him to the door, dejected by her own choice. "Thank you for the wine."

"You're welcome." There was sadness in his voice and she felt almost guilty. Deep down though she knew she'd done the right thing. She didn't need precognitive abilities to know that she'd regret entering into that type of relationship with him - which would undoubtedly end in heartbreak.

"I appreciate your honesty Christian and hope you understand my reasons." She looked up into his eyes, trying hard to resist the urge to just kiss him senseless.

He looked the same as he watched her lips, but instead he bent to kiss her cheek.

"Goodnight Ana." He said, his voice soft and doleful.

"Goodnight Christian." She said with equal melancholy.

She closed the door behind him, leaning against it as the turmoil of her emotions washed over her. Disappointment and longing made her body ache. Why did she feel like she'd had her first breakup when they'd not even started?

With a resigned sigh, she turned the lights out and headed to her room, hoping that tonight she'd dream of him, as that seemed the only way she'd get him. At least it would be on her terms.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N - Thank you for your reviews. Apologies for not responding personally but I've been bogged down this week. My new Wordpress site is up under the same name - it's possible that I may just post there in the future. Say no more. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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Ana was in an exceptionally good mood - not only had she been interviewed for the job of her dreams, but she'd been offered the job and made a couple of new friends..._of sorts. _As she prepared to fill Kate in on her week, having declared Friday a girls night (and Elliott free zone), she thought back to how her week had started.

The first interview had gone amazingly considering the restless sleep she'd had after the conversation with Christian. The way they'd left things, she felt as if she'd broken up with a boyfriend - not that she really knew what that felt like, but she could imagine.

She'd dreamed of him that night after his confession. Images of him flitted between a forlorn, pained boy hiding in the dark, to lust filled images of him looming over her, his hair tousled and body covered in a sheen of perspiration. She'd even dreamt of him in that room; she was tied to the bed with red rope, his head between her legs as she writhed in pleasure...other times it was the other way round - his eyes blindfolded and wrists cuffed as she kissed every single inch of his body. Never would she have imagined she could be like that.

It had definitely been the wildest and most disturbing dream she'd ever had. Particularly as she was touching him in places she knew she never would because of his phobia. The way their roles reversed had been the most erotic fantasy she'd created.

The lingering need she felt deep inside her had barely been quenched as she resorted to touching herself, the fantasy of Christian and their passion steadily driving her to ecstasy. It had taken the whole morning for her to shake off the dreams and get herself into interview mode.

When she arrived at SIP, a ten minute bus ride away (or a thirty minute walk she guessed), the building was just what she'd hoped for. A converted paper factory that had been re-modelled into a large open workspace over two floors. The weathered brick of the exterior was mirrored on the inside, only broken by large modern sheets of glass that stood the full height of the building letting the light pour through.

As she'd entered the building, her smile got bigger as she walked over time-worn flagstones towards the reception desk. Steel pillars and beams exposed in the brickwork seamed effortlessly with the urban chic decor. Splashes of colour and pattern softened the rough bones of the structure and she instantly knew she was going to love working there - _if_ she got the job.

The dress code was informal, which she had breathed a sigh of relief to discover. Her wardrobe was hardly corporate. Kate had lent her a dress for the interview and she felt decidedly overdressed as she was welcomed into the meeting room to face her interviewers.

Jack Hyde was the editor for which the position of assistant was being sought. A tall well built strawberry blonde with light blue eyes and pale skin that gave him an otherworldly appearance that was striking - and not in an attractive way. She pushed the thought from her mind immediately; she wasn't there for his looks.

She had to admit that his passion for literature and his vision for the company was what appealed to her. The calibre of their authors was impressive, she'd read at least three of the authors they currently had on their books and found it hard to hide her enthusiasm at that knowledge.

Jack had been very flattering regarding her grades and her achievements so far and she'd blushed hotly at the praise. She'd always worked hard and filled her time with extracurricular activities that would benefit her career in the long run. Reading voraciously, volunteering at the campus library and working at Clayton's had come before the expected social life of a college student.

She knew she'd made the right choice to apply here as she was given a tour of the different departments. There were around fifty staff scattered over the two floors and all of them had been exceptionally welcoming. She'd been surprised that she'd even been given a tour, seeing as she was just interviewing, but it had become clear when she was escorted back to the meeting room.

To her astonishment she was offered a second interview there and then. Jack's explanation that they were already suitably impressed with her references and were just as impressed in person, was what had her accepting to return at the end of the week to meet with the HR Manager without hesitation. If they were this novel and efficient in their recruitment, she was excited for what the future held if they actually offered her the job.

She was escorted back to reception by Jack who had given her an awkward and over-friendly 'well done' hug which she reluctantly returned. It gave a moment's pause, but she brushed it off. Some people were just touchy-feely like that.

The rest of her week was pretty mundane by comparison, filled with chores that involved making the apartment a home and cooking batches of food to freeze for later. She registered at a local library, scoped out places to eat, to shop and even used the gym in the basement. Not once did she run into Christian who had been a nightly feature in her dreams. Dreams that were idealised and romantic morphed quickly into erotic nightmares where she woke up hot, sticky and unsatisfied.

The sexual tension that consumed her dreams and was only mildly sated by her own fingers, continued to invade almost every moment of her day and night and it was driving her crazy. She felt so damn frustrated she had half the mind to stalk up to Christian's apartment and demand he stop invading her dreams. Then reality would kick her in the shin and remind her this wasn't some vampire romance fantasy, no supernatural magic was at work here. She should really start reading up on current authors, rather than over-indulging on box-sets of True Blood and The Twilight Saga. She blamed Kate, who was shacked up in her room with her dream invader's brother. Elliott was very appreciative of Kate's 'skills' and told her and the whole building _loudly_.

By the time Friday came around, she was more than a little sleep deprived and a just as cranky. She almost regretted not being a coffee drinker as tea just wasn't hitting the spot for her that morning. A cold shower helped along with the fright she got at bumping into a very naked Elliott in search of breakfast.

She was barely at SIP an hour this time before she was offered the job. The thrill of success was only blighted by that nagging doubt that this was too good to be true. That's how things usually worked in her life. One step forward two steps back. Cue examples: stepfather number three and Christian Grey.

She'd been exhilarated after the interview and wanted to celebrate by indulging her weakness - cake. Kate had found a quaint little French bakery four blocks away from Escala when she'd scouted for somewhere to eat after viewing the apartment a few weeks back. Knowing Ana's love of patisserie, she'd brought back several of their cupcakes to Portland and they spent the evening gorging on sugary and creamy baked goodness.

With a quick text to both her mother and Ray about her new job she realised it was approaching 3pm and she was ravenous. She'd only eaten a banana and some granola late morning, not able to stomach anything more due to pre-interview nerves. The interview had lasted nearly an hour and a half, so she'd missed lunch.

As luck would have it, she figured the patisserie was between SIP and Escala, so decided to forego the bus. The heels Kate had lent her were surprisingly comfortable, so she made the most of the afternoon sun and walked the short distance to the source of her treat.

As she approached, she recognised the eagle eyed, smart-suited form of Jason Taylor. He'd offered her his first name when they'd parted after their miserable two hour drive from Seattle to Portland, along with his handkerchief. He'd been silent the whole journey, but she hadn't missed the concern in his eyes. She'd insisted he use hers too; the formality of her title unnecessary in that moment.

"Hello Jason, how are you?" She asked as he smiled at her in recognition.

"Hello Miss Steele…" She frowned at him crossly. "Sorry, _Ana." _He glanced into the patisserie and it dawned on her why he might be standing outside.

Christian.

Seeing him was becoming a daily occurrence even though she'd reconciled herself to stay away from him. Fate, it seemed, was playing a cruel trick on her as it dangled temptation in more ways than baked goods. _What were the odds? _

He was seated at a table inside with a raven haired woman who was talking his ear off. The look on his face was of affection and the smile he graced her with was indulgent. She wondered briefly who could make him feel so comfortable when he'd barely let her see him like that.

She walked in the door, studiously ignoring his presence and focussed on the glass lined shelves covered with delicacies and freshly baked breads in rustic woven baskets. The delicious aroma of warm bread and coffee filled her nostrils and she breathed deeply. She enjoyed the smell of coffee but the liquid itself just didn't do it for her like some people.

To her left, a blackboard on the wall above where Christian's table was situated, listed the bakery's selection of the day in sweeping chalky calligraphy. Even in their strangely discordant relationship there could be no ignoring Christian, so she took the high road, not even sure why she should be worried. They'd cleared the air somewhat and it was really only her lingering embarrassment over her dream that made her uncomfortable. She'd made it clear that she wasn't interested in dom/sub relationship, so where did that leave them? They were both adults and could bump into each other without repercussions, _couldn't they?_

As their gazes caught, Christian rose from his chair looking every inch like a Calvin Klein model in his three piece suit and that unruly hair that she always left her itching to run her fingers through. Her breath caught as he moved over to where she was standing and she fiddled with the button on her jacket, suddenly nervous of what he would say.

"Ana, hi. It's good to see you." He offered, sounding genuinely pleased to see her as he smiled widely, his eyes raking over her outfit.

"You too Christian." She couldn't help but bite her lip, he was closer than she liked - in her personal space and his cologne smelled _oh so good. _

Why did he have to be so damn attractive _and_ unobtainable? She took a small step back; the way he looked at her was disconcerting and made her heart flutter wildly. He looked hungry and not for food, but also like somebody who hadn't slept for a week. He wore it well though.

"I see you've discovered Seattle best patisserie." He gestured around them.

"Yes, well actually Kate found the place before we moved here and brought some of their cakes back to Portland. I was in the area and wanted to treat myself."

"Well you'll be spoilt for choice here. I recommend their macaroons...and their strawberry mille-fueille..._and_ their coffee éclairs." He said conspiratorially. She laughed at his light-heartedness and the fact his other vice was the same as hers.

"You've a sweet tooth there Christian, you better watch you don't spoil that perfect smile of yours." She hadn't meant it to sound like she was flirting, but damn it if she couldn't help herself. In a neutral setting she just couldn't seem to resist the man.

"Thank you for your concern, I'll take extra care to brush well later." He beamed that perfect smile at her and _winked_.

They stood for a moment just taking each other in until she realised his companion was getting fidgety. "I'll let you get back…"

The patisserie was small and they were the only ones inside, so if his 'companion' hadn't heard their conversation she'd have to have hearing problem. Before she could break away, said companion had come over to join them. _Uh-oh_.

The woman was maybe close to her age and was striking with a black bob and dark brown eyes. She was stunning and dressed impeccably, making Ana feel relieved she'd worn a smart dress. She linked arms with Christian as she stood next to him, the familiar action surprised her.

"Hi I'm Mia, Christian's sister and you are?" The woman bore no resemblance to Christian at all, but then she remembered that all the siblings were adopted. Her tone was friendly and curious.

Before she could reply, Christian introduced them. "I'm sorry, Mia this is Anastasia Steele. Anastasia meet my sister Mia."

"Nice to meet you Mia, call me Ana, please." Ana said warmly.

"And you Ana. How do you two know each other?" It was an innocent question, with a very complicated answer. She looked to Christian to elaborate.

"I met Ana through work, we've met a couple of times since and now she lives in Escala...so we're _neighbours _I suppose." He looked to Ana for confirmation. Neighbours would indicate a basic level of acquaintance which they had definitely surpassed..._a long time ago_. It wasn't as if they were even friends. Neighbours it was then.

She bit her tongue, willing her hidden antagonist to stick a sock in it to stop her saying, "_Well actually, I interviewed your brother who intimidated the hell out of me, and then he rescued me after I got blind drunk and sick. He took me to his hotel where I slept in the same bed platonically. But it wasn't until he wined and dined me, and then took me up in his helicopter then to his apartment, where it was until after he took my virginity that I found out he has a secret fetish for whips and chains_.

"That's about it. Nothing more to tell…" She blurted out awkwardly, blushing hotly for the second time that day. It didn't help that the erotic dream she'd had of him last night was playing on loop in her brain. Just the sight of him made her feel giddy.

Christian was staring at her now and she felt exposed. Like every thought or action was advertising how utterly affected she was by him_. Gah!_ This was fifty shades of awkward.

"I see…" was all his sister said as she looked between the two of them suspiciously. They were so busted.

"Would you like to sit with us Ana? We're about to order." He touched her elbow gently and gestured for her to sit at their table.

She did need to sit, her knees were like jelly. The adrenaline rush of nerves from her interview and then running in Christian, the fantasies of him so vividly fresh, her body was in need of relief.

_In the form of sugar and a seat_. What the hell.

"Thank you, if you're sure I'm not intruding?" She asked.

"Of course not, you said you're treating yourself? Allow me...please?"

Christian's gentle smile betrayed none of the thrill of seeing and talking to Ana again, sure that she'd keep out of his way after their seemingly final meeting on Sunday. If he believed in such bull as fate and destiny, he'd say the frequency of their encounters was a sign. No matter how screwed up their 'situation' had become, no matter how many times he thought there was no hope, the opportunity to see her again kept arising.

Last weekend he hadn't intended to lay himself so open; nobody but Flynn had extracted such personal and emotional responses from him - not even Elena. He realised how much he needed her to understand the moment she opened the door to him. Something about her made him want to open himself up to possibilities he'd never contemplated before. Whether it was her obvious goodness and innocence, he didn't know. There was nothing about her that gave him reason to suspect she'd mistreat the vile truths of his sordid past _and_ present.

He felt torn in two. His desire for control and for routine was borderline OCD; his need to know the facts and pre-empt situations gave him that safety net that would cushion any fall. Ana was such an unknown entity. The more he was around her, the more he didn't know what he wanted from her and whether he'd ever get it. He just knew he wanted her like he'd never wanted anything in his life.

She didn't need to tell him again that she'd never be his as a submissive – she'd made that very clear to him. She didn't deny she was attracted to him and even enjoyed his company, but he'd damaged that foundation with the exposure of his lifestyle. Could he dare to hope that he could be any other way than what he'd got used to?

_Could a leopard change its spots?_

In all the years he'd been involved in this lifestyle, he'd not once questioned whether it was wrong - w_rong for him._ Flynn had acknowledged, like the professional he was, that alternative lifestyles were out there and being practiced by anyone and everyone on a daily basis.

The difference was the way Christian practiced wasn't like the majority of the BDSM community practiced - he knew that. He'd seen it for himself and like Elena had done with him, he chose not to involve emotions or tenderness with his submissive's even though it was required to a degree in the mutual contract. He gave the basic support and attention required, but there was no depth to it - it was a requirement that he make sure his subs were _cared _for, but he didn't actually _care _for them. He met their needs on a purely functional level. He loved none of them even if they loved him.

He didn't begrudge Elena for this foundation that supported his future behaviour. He appreciated that the relationship he had with her had been the route to his current success. The destructive path he'd been on as a teenager could have seen a much different future. He wouldn't accept that what Elena had started with him was wrong, but he did accept that there were alternative, legal and non-sexual ways for him to change his behaviour and still become the success he is today.

_He'd yet to find one though_.

He'd lay awake last night wondering whether there was any possibility he could change the way he used his lifestyle as cure for his psychological problems. Could he relinquish control and just see what a free-falling relationship could be? He really wanted to be with Ana, but somebody as light and pure as her wouldn't be controlled or stifled. He was intelligent enough to realise that.

_You can't cage a butterfly_.

He'd heard her words and mulled them over for hours, their sincerity and their honesty being the spectres to keep him awake, rather than his usual night terrors. He'd felt relief at her acceptance of why they didn't go to his room and that he was pitifully incompetent when it came to interacting with her in any other way than as a dominant.

His dominant instincts told him to control her, to use her and mould her. The perpetual four year old boy in him; the one that reminded him of how much he needed the security of this lifestyle. It allowed him never to be hurt or controlled, or abandoned, but it was also the one that yearned to be free of it. Yearned to be 'normal'. But he was afraid of what that freedom would cost him.

Standing before Ana now, he felt like that four year old. He wanted her to want to be with him, to talk to her, to laugh, smile and have fun. As a man, he wanted to kiss her, hold her and dare he say it, _make love to her_. He desired the kinky fuckery too, it was ingrained in him and damn it if he admitted it himself, but he was good at it. But in that moment it took a back seat to this strange rush of adrenaline at the mere prospect of her just spending time in his presence.

_Boy was he fucked!_ Flynn would get a round the world ticket worth of mileage out of this revelation.

They sat and ordered a selection of Christian's recommendations, along with her favoured tea and his and Mia's café au lait. He could see Ana peeking at him out of the corner of her eye as she and Mia chatted amiably. He barely concentrated on what Mia was saying, trying his hardest not to stare at the woman he'd been dreaming about all week as she devoured meringue and cream with gusto.

Ana looked gorgeous in the plum dress she'd worn today. It was fitted and flattered her curves amazingly, the colour contrasted perfectly with her pale skin. Her soft make-up and shiny ponytail complemented the look and he almost blurted it out as he drank the sight of her in.

She explained that she'd just interviewed and been offered a job on the spot for her favoured choice of employer. The happiness radiated from her as she talked about her passion for literature and the possibilities for her career. The amiable atmosphere as the three of them chatted like nothing untoward or sordid had happened in the past was a first for him. He made a mental note to check out SIP when he got the chance; the protective urge in him rising up.

Mia went on to talk about her stay in Paris, her brief stint at a prestigious French cookery school and her love of the vibrant eclectic city. It was why they met at this patisserie as Mia had a fondness for baking and celebrations of any kind and had decided to embark on a career in the wedding cake business as a side to event planning. She'd asked for his advice on the business side of things and here they were, scoping out the competition, not so surreptitiously.

Usually his meets with Mia were her talking for 99% of the time and his yay or nay responses, teamed with the appropriate nodding and smiling. She could talk enough for the two of them, but he loved his baby sister nonetheless.

Once their plates and cups were cleared away, Mia declared that Ana was her new best friend and gave her no choice as she demanded her number. Ana seemed to take all of this in her stride and indulged Mia as he always did. His sister left them in a flurry of air kisses and promises to meet up and then they were left alone.

"I should get going too. I want to share my news with Kate." Ana said as she dug in her purse for money to pay he assumed.

He stilled her hand. "Oh no you don't, this treat is on me. Congratulations on your new job Ana." He pulled out his billfold and placed the notes on the little silver platter the waitress had left.

She pursed her lips but didn't protest as she looked at him gratefully. "Thank you Christian. It's been...nice."

"_Nice_? Now that's a word I've never heard to describe me." He teased. "I'd say it was more than that Ana...I'd say it was _sublime_." He admitted genuinely as he provoked rejection and reached for the hand that was resting on her lap.

She looked down at their hands and glanced up at him through her lashes. "Christian?" She asked him with uncertainty.

He thought for a moment and summoned courage that seemed to have retreated suddenly. He didn't get nervous before meetings or negotiations, not even when he was speaking publicly. The woman in front of him had reduced him to a nervous wreck; he was so out of his element.

"I can't stop thinking about you, its driving me crazy...I can't sleepAna. I'm so desperate for you…please give me a chance?" He blurted shamelessly.

She was biting her lip and he wished he had the nerve to free it and then kiss it better.

"A chance for what Christian? We've gone over this already...I can't be what you want remember?" She was whispering, conscious of being overheard but he didn't care, he knew that Taylor would take care of anyone intruding on their time.

"You _are _what I want Ana. After the five days I've had away from you, I'll take you any way you'll have me." There, he'd said it.

He was taking a huge chance that she's outright reject him, but he hoped for anything. Friends or lovers, he'd take it - albeit reluctantly. He knew was pushing his luck, but even friends had potential to become more. Dominant Christian would demand no less than lovers, but a softer side of his was emerging and he wanted to show her that he could adapt.

She looked shocked, her mouth agape. He'd not acted this out of character with her before, he'd always been controlled, emotions in check and words carefully thought out. But every minute spent with her he just wanted to let it all out.

"Say something..._please_? Just...even if you just say we'll be friends. I can accept that _to start_…"

"You can _accept _that?" She finally spoke, scoffing at his words her big blue eyes fixing him sternly.

He tugged at his hair - fuck, he found her frustrating! But damn if he didn't find it _really hot_. He moved his chair closer and held her upper arms, his thumbs absently stroking the smooth bare skin. He closed his eyes at the memory of feeling that soft skin all over…

"_Please_ Ana...I'll do anything for you to give me a chance. No contracts, no rules…" He swallowed nervously, his eyes pleaded with her. "No playroom…" He surprised himself with that sacrifice, Ana continued to gape at him, giving him no clue as to what was going through her mind - it was enough to give him a heart attack.

He let go of her arms and took her hand in his, placing over his chest with his hand still holding hers to stop it roaming. He could feel the warmth of her skin through his shirt, directly over his heart and closed his eyes as he forced the panic of her touch away with monumental control.

"Feel what you do to me Ana…" His eyes were closed, but he heard her gasp. His heart was being out of his chest and for the first time in his life there was a lump in his throat. Pure emotion was eating at him.

"Christian…" He opened his eyes as he felt her move his hand away, but keep hold of it in her fist.

He blew out an unsteady breath, relieved that she'd spoken, that she'd taken his hand in hers now instead of the other way around.

"O.K." She said simply and for a moment it didn't compute. He frowned until she elaborated.

"Friends. _I can accept that_." Her smirk at his expense made him slump with relief as he realised that he'd made the first hurdle. She wasn't rejecting him and he wanted to jump for joy or kiss the breath out of her.

"You won't regret it Ana, I promise." He was beaming, happier than he could remember ever being.

"I'll hold you to that." She reached out her hand for him to shake in agreement and he laughed.

As he returned handshake, he felt exhilarated and hopeful. He was lighter in mind, body and soul knowing that what he held in his hand would hold the key to his future.

_And that was Ana_.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N - I'm sorry for the delay in posting and for not replying to your many reviews and PM's - I've been sick as a dog (where does that phase come from?) along with my whole family. I've loved seeing the wonderful reviews - I appreciate them so much and would normally reply but my brain has been mush.

Ch11 is almost done as I had to split this chapter in two due to length. For those of you that read and think Ana is being overly dramatic, I had this phobia until last year and I'd lived with it for over 30yrs, so I know from experience how it feels (but not for the same reason).

Hope you enjoy - ch11 will be up this weekend at the latest and continues the events of this current chapter.

Hugs, Subs X - check out my Pinterest for visuals (same name).

* * *

Ana had never been one for sleeping in, so when Kate came bounding into her room squealing like a fan girl, she wasn't actually rudely awakened.

_In fact Ana had rudely awakened herself._

Thankfully Kate was oblivious to her interruption of another red hot fantasy involving the complicated upstairs. Regardless of their new friendship status he was still the star of her dreams which were a taking on a decidedly kinky theme. Each time she saw Christian, that night she would find herself imagining scenarios in the very room she'd run from.

_How messed up was that?_

In this latest dream, Christian had tied her wrists with cream silk rope to a white four-poster bed covered with silky soft dove grey sheets. He'd blindfolded her and kissed and licked every inch of her skin, teasing her to abandon until he buried his tongue between her folds. The fantasy of him taking her from behind, them both on their knees and him holding her tied wrists suspended above her head was enough to wrench a powerful orgasm that woke her from her sleep.

When Ana had gone to bed after their girls' night in, she lay awake for a long time thinking about everything Christian had told her. She appreciated his honesty about his feelings more than he knew, and she'd realised how hard it was for him to admit. His admission that he was crushing on her big time made it hard to hold herself back, but she needed to be practical - she wasn't sure that they were right for each other. Before the night she lost her virginity, she could have easily fallen for him - even with his controlling ways and mercurial moods. A step back was needed in order to guard her heart.

She'd learnt to be pragmatic about relationships; her mother's attitude was the 'How Not To' of relationships that a wiser-than-her-years Ana had the maturity to realise. Her mother was a flighty, hopeless romantic and was easily seduced, even when already in a relationship. The fact she was on husband number four proved that. Carla was sporadic with her affection for her only child, only showering her with love and affection between men. She'd needed some of that love when husband number three moved in. She'd instantly disliked Stephen Morton, but her mother had adored him blindly. He appeared every inch the charmer but when he was angry or drunk, he liked put his belt to use. _Positive parenting was not for him - Painful reminders were._

No wonder she had shuddered at the sight of the belts and whips in the red room.

Due to her mother coming to her senses after Ana's near death under Morton's supervision, the termination of that marriage came swiftly and not soon enough for Ana who had begged to move to Montesano. Only a few months later, Carla was again married to Bob Adams who seemed like a nice enough guy. This time Ana kept her own love at a distance from her mother and focussed it on Ray. The man may not share her DNA but he was more of a father than any of the men in her mother's life had ever been. He was more of a parent than Carla and any step-father combined.

Ana might be practical about love, growing up in her mother's shadow, but that didn't mean she couldn't also appreciate romance. Literature had been her saviour as a shy child and teen; it had also been an inspiration. It told her that what she knew about love from her own family was not the norm. She wanted to love and be loved epically. That strong, unwavering devotion that didn't fade with age or in times of trouble - the kind of love that most thought unrealistic.

If she had to admit it, the way that Christian had looked at her was epic. The way his words burrowed deep into her heart, made her confused. Contradictory moods and a powerful sexual drive she wasn't sure she could keep up with made him such a complex man. The mental and physical scars of his past he bore like Atlas* - was she up to helping him carry that weight?

In the dark and the warm of her bed where she lay thinking and _not _sleeping. She turned and reached into her bedside table to pull out the notebook and pencil she kept there. Sometimes when she couldn't sleep, or bad dreams woke her she would write them down in this little book.

Thoughts, observations or even poetry came to her when she was on the edge of exhaustion. So, when she couldn't fall asleep for contemplating everything that had transpired between them, she made a list pro's and con's.

_Pro's_

_Devastatingly attractive - shouldn't matter but see point 4. _

_Wealthy - not important but at least he can support himself and benefits points 3 and 5. _

_Generous_

_Sexy - see point 2. of Cons_

_Philanthropic_

_Refined - good manners, intelligence_

_Cons_

_Emotionally he's a minefield_

_Sexually deviant -this could be a pro if point number 3 weren't on the list._

_Sadistic tendencies_

_Controlling_

_Intimidating_

Before it had all blown up in her face, she had wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with him. Now she knew what she did, and no matter how attracted to him she was - she wasn't ready to enter into a relationship with him yet and she didn't think he was either. There was no way that he could go from practicing the sexual lifestyle he had been used to, to just plain old vanilla - as much as he said he'd liked it and would welcome with her - could he?

The decision to move on as friends was one that might be riddled with trouble, but she thought he was worth it. His plea had touched her deeply. She'd felt her chest tighten and tears threaten at how desperate he sounded. That had been the catalyst for her and she really hoped she wasn't taking on a wounded animal, only for it to turn on her when it was well enough.

Sitting in the cocoon of her bed making her list, she realised that she really didn't know that much about him. About his likes and dislikes, his family, his work...lots of things. If they were going to give this friendship a shot, then she'd want to know this kind of stuff. Maybe, just maybe, this could turn into something more..._like dating_.

She intuited that Christian would scoff at the idea of dating. Friendship was safer emotionally, but dating involved risk and she didn't know him well enough to know how much of a risk he'd take with her. She already knew he wanted her, but from what she did know of him he didn't do things by halves. Instinct told her that he was an all or nothing man.

Friendship was the test though. If they could be friends without imploding then maybe they could more..._be lovers_. If Christian was capable of love, then she was sure he'd jump in head first.

Ana inconspicuously pulled her hand from between her legs and sat up in bed, her buzz faded and the words that Kate was babbling began to register.

"What boat? Where are we going?" She asked shaking the daze from her head.

Kate groaned and repeated the message she'd gotten from Elliott early this morning. They'd been invited to join Christian and Elliott on their planned sailing trip today, on Christian's boat.

"Ana, you have to see his boat...well I think it's a catamaran actually. It's enormous! We're going to have so much fun!" Kate squealed.

Ana felt the air go out of the room and that prickling chill you get when you're terrified. It seemed to register with Kate as she stopped bouncing on the bed and took her by the shoulders.

"Ana? Ana, what's the matter - you look like you've seen a ghost." Kate asked concerned.

Nobody, even Kate, knew about Ana's fear of water - pools, ponds, lakes or the sea. She wouldn't step on a boat and didn't know how to swim; the opportunity for Kate to find out had never arisen before, so her friend didn't know her greatest fear.

Her birth dad had been in the Navy when he'd died at sea - an accidental drowning whilst on a mission. Ana had only vague memories of him with her being so young when he died. She found out about his death when she was around six years old; her mother and a friend were talking one night when she'd crept downstairs and heard their conversation. Since that day she point blank refused to go in or on the ocean. Ray had tried to take her fishing as a kid, but she wouldn't go and she'd cried every time he went out...just in case he didn't come back.

Ana looked at Kate, tears brimming and shook her head. "I can't go…"

Kate inched closer and put her arm around her. "Ana honey, why ever not? Is it Christian?"

Ana shook her head. "No, it's nothing to do with him. I'm afraid of open water...I can't swim." She picked at her fingernails, making a cuticle bleed and she winced.

Kate squeezed her shoulder and held one of her hands. "I never knew...you never said anything."

Ana shrugged. "It never came up. It doesn't matter - you go...you and Elliott, you'll have a great time." She wiped her tears that had spilled over at the intensity of the fear that washed over her. She felt silly too, like it was something she should have tried to overcome.

"Oh Ana...are you sure? I'm sure Christian would like you to go." She tried to catch Ana's eyes, but she was too embarrassed to look her in the eye.

"I can't Kate...just tell him I'm ill or something please. You go...please." She sucked in a breath and regained her composure.

Kate pulled her in for a hug and they stayed like that for a good minute or so. "O.K, but I want talk about this sometime - see if there's anything we can do to help you get over it, alright?"

Ana nodded in silence. Her mother had tried, Ray had tried and in his twisted nasty way Stephen Morton had tried too. That had only added to her fear and had set off a chain of events that she didn't want to remember.

"So, what should I wear? I've got these cute high waisted shorts; they're linen, so I'll need to wear a thong 'cos they're pretty thin. My bikini definitely...Elliott's going to die when he sees it!"

Kate chattered on for a few minutes about nautical chic and something she'd bought from some expensive sounding designer cruise collection. Ana smiled and made noises in the right places but her head wasn't in the conversation. Kate got the message and kissed her on the forehead before dashing away to get changed.

Tea was the first order of the day and so she scooted out of bed feeling fragile and a little bit sad that she couldn't join them. She was more disappointed about missing out on time with Christian than she really should be, especially for somebody she was only friends with.

She took her tea back to her room and took a quick shower. Looking outside at the wonderful view they had from the almost penthouse floor, it was turning out to be a beautiful day. Perhaps she'd dress for summer and take a book to read in the park - have her own outdoor experience.

She forced a smile as she got dressed and dried her hair, the residual adrenaline that spiked when she confronted her phobia had worn off and she felt introspective.

It was whilst she was sitting in the corner chair looking out over the impressive view of the city, drinking her tea that the knock on her door came. Kate would knock and just come in, so this was somebody else.

"Come in." She said, almost a question.

The door opened and there was Christian, once again looking like he'd stepped out of a photo shoot for one of those designers Kate loved. He looked ready to set sail in navy chinos, a crisp white linen shirt and deck shoes.

He walked over to the chair and crouched down in front of her as she remained in her chair, sipping on her tea.

"I know why you're here." She said to the view, rather than him.

"I was concerned. Kate said you weren't feeling well." She turned to look at him and there was worry in his eyes.

"I'm fine. I just don't want to go out today." She said, brushing his concern away.

He frowned and pursed his lips. "Do you not want to go out with _me_, or not at all?"

She realised that he must be thinking that she was having second thoughts about their friendship if she declined to go out today. She wondered if she could tell him. He had his own fear, the one about touching which he'd not elaborated on so maybe he could understand if she didn't want to talk about it.

"It's not you Christian...I promise. Nothing's changed since yesterday. It's just...I don't like sailing." She said, trying to reassure him.

"Oh come on Ana, it'll be fun. My boat is my pride and joy and I want to share her with you." His face beamed earnestly.

"Her?" She asked, intrigued.

"Yes, the Grace. Named after my mother and built to my own design in my own shipyard. I'd love you to come out on her." The pride was obvious in on his face and in his words.

She stared down into her teacup and wondering if she could tell him she was afraid. Kate had left her to it surprisingly easy, but she already knew that Christian wouldn't. She reached to put her teacup down on the floor, but Christian took it from her and placed it on her bedside table.

"A master of land and sea, what's next, space?" She deflected.

"I am master of my own universe Ana, but I think conquering another is a little ambitious - even for me!" He chuckled. She liked the sound of him so light hearted - it was a shame to burst his bubble.

"Have you mastered your universe? Conquered your fears?" She knew she was treading on thin ice, but maybe this was the way she'd get him to understand once she told him what her fear was.

He moved to sit on the edge of the bed and looked at her like she'd spoken a foreign language - one of the five he didn't understand.

"You know I haven't…What is this about Ana?" He'd lost that playful air and was regarding her seriously.

"I haven't either and that's why I can't go on your boat. I'm afraid." The last words were spoken so quietly he had to ask her to repeat them. So she did.

He sat with his elbows resting on his knees as he cocked his head. "What are you afraid of Ana...not _me_?"

"No!" She exclaimed. "I can't even talk about it without getting upset…" She started to feel the tingle that she normally got when just talking about her fear.

Christian moved quickly to her and pulled her up and sat her down beside him; he'd not let go of her hands she noticed.

"Hey...it's O.K. You're scared of sailing or the ocean?" He asked and she nodded gently.

"Oh Ana, I promise you there's nothing to be afraid of on my boat. She's big enough you'll feel like you're at home and I have a perfect safety record."

"I can't swim." She whispered shamefaced.

"That's O.K. You can wear a life vest but I promise you won't even need to know how to swim unless you want to go for a dip." He was really trying to reassure her but she needed him to understand.

"The way I feel about the ocean - being in it or even on it in a boat, it's the same as you feel about being touched." He flinched at the admission, but even that wouldn't stop him - she knew it.

"I won't push you Ana, if that's the way you feel. Please know this though; I've lived with my phobia since I was a young child and yesterday was the first time that I've let anyone touch me there willingly. It was liberating and excruciating at the same time. But with that touch came a desire I never thought I'd have. I want you to be able to touch me...I want to be able to hug my family and they return it without me losing my mind. You made this possible Ana and I want to do the same for you."

He lifted her chin to look at him, but she was finding it hard to look up through the curtain of hair that hid her face. She was crying for him and that he'd said it was because of her.

"Look at me...please?" He pushed the hair behind her ear and tilted her chin again.

She felt so small. Her phobia seemed so inconsequential when compared with his - what he'd been missing out on and his hope that he'd overcome it. He'd not welcomed that intimacy with his family all his life and she realised it was the reason he needed control over his lovers like he did - and so they wouldn't touch him. Her fear of the water, not wanting to swim or travel on any kind of floating vessel seemed foolish.

"My dad...my birth dad, died at sea when I was a baby...he drowned. I never learned to swim properly - I didn't see the point as I hated going near expanses of water. When I was older there was somebody who thought fear would help overcome fear, so they pushed me into deep water convinced that I'd swim reflexively. I panicked and my mom heard me screaming and pulled me out. I nearly died...I had to be resuscitated." _ That's it Ana, rip the band aid off._

"Shit Ana... I'm so sorry." Christian soothed, his tone conveying more than compassion.

She only realised she was crying when Christian wiped his thumbs across her cheeks before pulling her into his chest. Her head rested over his heart and she concentrated on the sure rhythm as she tried to calm down. The beats and the gentle stroking of her hair soothed her until it registered that she was touching his chest.

Looking up at him she asked him if it was alright. "Do you still feel it...the fear?"

He smiled as he looked down at her and shook his head. "I feel something, but it's not fear. My body is alert but I think it'll take time before I'm fully comfortable with it. I've never bothered to try before Ana. This is nice..._really nice_."

There was that word again. How could such a mundane word convey so much gratitude? She felt herself blush at his accolade. It felt damn _nice _to her as well and so she made no effort to move. It took all her willpower to quash the urge to run her hands up his neck and kiss him.

This 'friends only' thing was _hard._

* * *

Earlier that day, Christian had felt like he was soaring as he made his way back to Grey House from the patisserie. The high of being with Ana for any amount of time boosted him like no deal or playroom session ever had.

He didn't understand the reason for this but was content to let it carry him like an ocean current. The ebb and flow of emotions felt natural even if they were new to him.

The rest of his Friday afternoon and part of his evening had been spent humbly asking his brother's help in providing a suitable celebration for Ana's job success. They might only be friends - for now - but he wanted to do something for her to celebrate. Just as Ana and Kate had their way, Christian had his, only his was more extravagant and excessive.

He was aware of his need to have the best of everything. From birth to four he'd lived in squalor; clothes and food were in short supply along with the care of a mother. In some twisted way it made him happy to have the things he never had in those first years. Money can't buy you love, or happiness he was told - but it worked just fine for him at the moment.

He'd felt a shift in that theory when he met Ana. For all the finery he had, this woman took it and multiplied that security and pleasure tenfold. He felt the fissures in the barrier he'd built around his heart, start to form. At some point physics or logic would dictate that the more he felt, the more that barrier would break down and he would be free.

Until Ana, he'd thought the way he lived his life was perfect - how wrong he'd been.

He'd felt a stab of disappointment when his perfectly executed plans were thwarted before they'd had a chance to happen. That disappointment had been overtaken by concern the moment Elliott had called him to say Ana was ill.

He had insisted on checking on her, which Kate had found 'adorable', so with her help he'd been granted entry to the girls apartment. His protective instincts were kicking in even though she really wasn't his to care for. When he found her she was subdued and paler than usual, her eyes showed evidence that she'd been crying and he found that he hated the thought of her tears.

Holding her whilst she explained her reticence for their sailing trip, he'd felt the last vestiges of desire to pull her into his lifestyle, completely vanish. This beautiful creature had her own demons and he wanted nothing more but to slay them for her - including the asshole that had tormented her. If he could begin to overcome his haphephobia because of her, then he wanted to reciprocate.

He was sure she'd try to turn him down, after all, he'd turned down every offer in the past to help him overcome his own fear, so why should she?

"Can I see her...? The Grace?" She asked, pulling back a little to look at him.

Christian took out his phone and scrolled through a number of photos he'd taken during the build and finally completion shots. He was perfectly aware that he sounded like a proud parent as he explained what each photo was.

"These are the plans, they took eleven weeks to perfect and I had a hand in every stage."

"It must have been really rewarding seeing your ideas come to fruition." She commented.

"Very much so, I have the 4D model the boat builders made with the plans on my desk...here look." He held his phone in front of them in landscape position, the sides of their bodies still close enough that he had to reluctantly move his arm from around her for the impromptu slideshow.

"I remember seeing it on your desk now...and the paintings of ships. It didn't occur to me to at the time to notice the theme." She said, her eyes far away as if remembering the day they met.

"You observed a lot about me though, in such a short space of time. I thought I was unreadable, but there you were - deciphering me."

Ana scoffed. "Hardly! I was terrified, you were very intimidating."

"_Were_? Have you changed your opinion of me?" He asked with interest. She shrugged.

"Like this...you're different. _Softer_, more approachable." She blushed at her own words and looked back at the pictures, taking his phone from his hand as she continued to look through the folder of pictures he had kept of the Grace in her various stages of construction.

He felt a swell of emotion at her words and the fact she was so interested in parts of his life that others just glossed over. People close to him had given up asking him about his life as he always deflected. Others never wanted to know anything unless they could discover something gossip worthy. It felt different with Ana - there was so much he wanted to share with her, places he could take her - if only she were his.

Sitting so close to her, he wondered if he were really a masochist to accept just being friends. Right now he wanted to push her back on the bed and kiss her 'til she ran out of air...he wanted to undress her and show her how soft and gentle he could be.

"Do you trust me to keep you safe?" He asked, an idea of how he could show her how invested he was in making her his.

"Safe from what?" She asked inquisitively.

He wanted to say anything and everything, but he didn't want to scare her off. "From the sea...its monsters, its briny depths, its powerful currents."

If she'd let him, he wouldn't take his hand from hers for the whole trip, only to show her how much he meant it. She looked straight into his eyes and he felt that inexplicable tightness in his chest again.

"You're making this really hard for me you know?" She sighed. He frowned, not understanding what she meant.

"I'm only trying to help you Ana." He said genuinely, taking the phone from her hand.

"I know...I meant you're making it hard for me to say no." She played with the fingers of his free hand absentmindedly.

"You'll go?" He asked in surprise. She nodded and he couldn't help his mile wide grin as he pulled her back to him.

"You're amazing Ana, so brave...I just wish you so easy to convince on other things." He stated, pulling back to look at her face. He hoped that he could somehow change her mind on the whole 'friends' concept.

"I know what you're thinking Grey, you should know by now I'm not that easy. Are you still up for the job?" She admonished.

"Are we talking about erasing your fear of the ocean or the very challenging job of being your friend?" He couldn't hide his facetious tone but she just shook her head and shoved his arm in jest.

"Both I suppose. Both are a 'win' for you."

"If you'll trust me Ana, I'll show you that there's nothing to be afraid of. We'll be safe, it's my default setting. My boat won't sink, nobody will drown, and nobody is going to force you in the water. I'll be with you the whole time."

He'd be with her night and day, _every_ day if she would have him.

* * *

*A reference to the Greek myth of Atlas, who was punished by having to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N - Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who've reviewed/pm'd, I'm sorry if I haven't replied back to you - I really do appreciate you taking the time to review.

I've been very busy this last week or so. I started training for my new job as a carer for the elderly - a big career change for me. Then I went to see Sam Smith in London last week, he was amazing! A little mooch around the V&amp;A museum instead of the usual shopping and then back home to start my new job. I salute anyone in the caring profession - its a hard job, very daunting but very rewarding. Kids are off school for the Easter hols, so my muse has been a little stifled this week. Also I've been watching all available episodes of 'Outlander'. OMG if you haven't watched this I highly recommend it. It's a proper bodice ripper romance come to life complete with hunky hero, opinionated heroine and baddies galore. Set in 18th century Scotland, the language and the scenery are wonderful. View it on Amazon Instant.

Hope you enjoy this chapter - things are warming up for our couple! Please excuse any errors - it's 1.30am and I'm cream crackered!

* * *

There was a conviction to Christian's words that made her shiver. She knew instantly he wasn't just referring to today. For a private man like Christian, he wore his heart on his sleeve - but only for her it seemed.

Not since that awful day in the pool she'd told Christian about, had she properly tried to overcome her fear. Now that it was thrust upon her, she felt an inexplicable necessity to get over it and Christian was the ideal person to help her. She didn't know why she trusted him; maybe it was his dominant persona, maybe it was how he didn't brush off her fear as irrational or childish. He understood perfectly and she felt the comfort of that deep inside her. _She could do this_.

Christian waited patiently with her whilst she gathered her things for their day out. She tried hard to push the fear away, knowing that her demon was getting closer. The vulnerable state she felt in after spilling her secret fear and part of her past that nobody but her parents knew, had left her a little shaky.

She was grateful as Christian took command in that way he always does. It felt good to have him take charge as he made sure she'd eaten breakfast, had some warm clothes to take with her, sunscreen, sunglasses and sensible shoes. It made her smile that even though he was in his domineering element, he sounded like a parent ushering a child off to school. This element of submission she could accept.

* * *

The four of them travelled together in another one of Christian's expensive Audi's - a sleek behemoth of an SUV in charcoal grey driven by Taylor.

There had been a little squabble as to who would sit where when they left the apartment to make their way to the marina. Kate and Elliott didn't want to sit separately and Christian didn't want to let go of Ana, much to the other couple's amusement. Ana was too concerned with not freaking out as she waited for the calming herbal remedy she'd taken before leaving, to kick in.

After a debate she watched from the kerbside, Taylor was designated to sit in the back with Kate and Elliott whilst Christian drove leaving her to take the passenger seat. As much as Kate was supportive of her idea to conquer her fears, she was far too wrapped up (literally) in Elliott to care. This didn't bother her at all though; Kate knew that Ana preferred to sort through her own feelings and would come to her if she needed her support. Over the years they'd known each other, they'd come to respect when each needed her own space or a comforting hug.

She felt like she was on autopilot all the way to the marina, her thoughts whirling around with how comfortable she felt with Christian taking the pressure off her; how parts of his life seemed so hard and uncompromising yet here he was, the polar opposite to his business persona and the dominant she imagined from her dreams.

On their journey, she reflected upon why 'people', women in Christian's case, submit to another. As much as her inner feminist told her to be independent, there was something about entrusting your safety and pleasure to a person you had faith in to protect you and care for you. She supposed this could be applied to the situation she now found herself in and for the kind of 'relationships' Christian was used to.

He claimed that it was safe and consensual; something she'd found hard to wrap her head around initially. _Why would anybody want to be treated like that?_ The more time she spent with Christian, the more she began to question her interpretation of him and his playroom.

Everything she'd read on the thumb drive she'd absentmindedly put in her bag that awful night, could be interpreted negatively by an innocent. He clearly wasn't the monster she'd accused him of being that night, even if he liked the heavy stuff detailed in that contract.

She'd read the submissive's contract out of pure curiosity - just like when she'd discovered _The Story of O*_. As much as the content of the contract appalled her, she just couldn't stop herself from reading on. It was very thorough and covered a whole host of stuff that didn't sit right with her. There were sexual acts and objects she'd never knew people did or used on each other.

Of course, being morbidly curious she'd looked some things up on the internet and had been shocked to her core - most of it looked seedy and degrading. But she'd also been turned on by some of the descriptions and pictures. Knowing in detail all the potential sexual things that Christian could do to her and had done in the past, made her core throb.

She wondered whether the prospect of fantastic sex and multiple orgasms was worth the loss of control over your life. How much you exercised, what you ate, personal grooming, clothes chosen for you and being at his beck and call were a fraction of the rules. Rules, that if not followed, allowed 'Sir' to punish you.

_Punishment for heaven's sake!_ She hadn't needed further explanation to know what that entailed; she could imagine that for herself. She'd seen the canes and belts, even watched a video of it. What she couldn't imagine though, is Christian using them on anybody. The thought of him being so cruel when he'd shown her how gentle he could be, made her want to cry.

The hardcore and the less daunting aspects of his lifestyle as far as she dared to imagine, had imprinted on her brain. Her dreams had taken this information and created the most elaborate and erotic dream she'd ever had. She knew she would take the rough sex, the teasing and even the bondage and welcome it. The need for pain to achieve pleasure - for both parties, she could leave - along with the submission. That part she wouldn't ever be able to fully comprehend. It had to be a natural characteristic - a desire and a preference. As much as she could be shy, she'd never be fully submissive - persuaded _yes_, ordered or pleased to serve _no_.

If she were ever in the position to be naked with Christian again - a prospect she really shouldn't be envisaging as friends - she'd want to show him a side to her he never dreamed existed. One that she'd never let anyone see; a side of her that only existed in _her_ dreams. As much as she dreamed of seduction by silk ropes and blindfolds, she also fantasized of Christian at her mercy in exactly the same way he'd wanted her.

She pondered the prospect of that happening along with the uncomfortable suspicion that she was a hypocrite.

She'd absently watched the city go by, the others in the car blissfully ignorant of the direction her mind had taken in order to distract herself. The chatter of voices and the gentle strains of a piano from the speakers provided background noise. It was only when the car stopped, the sound of the engine and the feeling of the air-con turning off did she realise they were there. Christian's hand was wrapped in hers and he turned to her as the others got out, leaving them alone.

"Ana, we're here. Are you O.K?" She turned from looking out the window as he brushed her cheek with his fingers.

She swallowed nervously and nodded as she tried to take her focus off the glittering water she could see over his shoulder.

"Good, stay here." He grabbed some items and got out of the car and dashed around her side to open the door. His courteousness made her smile.

She moved to get out and he took her hand straight away, holding it firmly in his. They really were pushing the boundaries of this friendship, but she really didn't mind today. She was embracing this side of him. As they walked, Christian began to tell her about the marina and its history, how many boats there were and who owned some of them.

Her focus was on him rather than what was around them; as much as she was concentrating on what was to come, she could tell that Christian was enjoying the attention. In her peripheral vision she made out a multitude of colourful sails and could hear the lap of water and gulls calling.

They moved from solid ground to the boardwalk, a bleached pine runway that branched off at various points. It was a relatively calm day, a light breeze cooled her bare arms that were starting to warm up from the bright sun. Ordinarily it would be an ideal day; she could appreciate the serenity, the sparkle of the sun on the open water and the fresh clean air. She'd bask in it if it wasn't for the snakes slithering in her stomach.

Before they got to the Grace, she saw her. Christian was right, his 'cat' as he informed her, was magnificent and she understood why he was so proud. Floating majestically, the Grace presided over the other boats in proportions alone. She knew nothing about boats other than what Christian had told her but she knew that this vessel was something special.

It really was a floating palace - all pearly white and chrome with cornflower blue upholstery. She gripped Christian's hand as she smiled nervously, aware that Elliott and Kate were already aboard and waiting for them. Her friend waved to her, clearly excited about being on board.

Christian came to stand in front of her. "It's a perfect day for sailing - clear skies, a gentle wind and a pretty shipmate."

She had to giggle at his flattery. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

He brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles, her gaze moved instantly to his lips. "Only you Ana." Her breath caught as butterflies joined the snakes that still writhed in her belly. She really hoped she wouldn't spoil the moment by throwing up. _Could you get seasick without actually being off-land?_

"Come, let me take you aboard." She sucked in a shaky breath as he took her hand and wove their fingers together - a lover's handhold. He pulled her forward as her feet didn't seem to want to move.

Christian took her other hand as he turned his back on the boat and inched her toward the step that would take her from the relative safety of the jetty to the buoyant vessel.

"Look at me - I've got you Ana…" She concentrated on his voice, only vaguely aware that the others, Taylor included she thought - were calling encouragingly from the upper deck. Embarrassment registered briefly at how silly she must look. Like a dog refusing a bath or a reluctant horse.

She closed her eyes to shut them all out and took the steps she needed to, Christian's hands guiding her as felt the change the foundations. She wasn't aware that she was holding her breath until Christian spoke.

"Breathe Ana...its O.K. Come to me." Oh wow, for a moment she forgot where she was and imagined him saying that under completely different circumstances. Circumstances that involved more solid ground..._like a bed_.

"Step down, one to go…" Christian led her like a toddler learning to walk. Inside she was a mass of knots as she tried hard to focus on him rather than the lack of solid ground.

"That's it...good girl." Ordinarily she would have bristled at being called such a name, but right now she felt like a child. The praise was welcome as she fell into Christian's arms.

She wanted to cry, the emotions were right there on the edge. Vulnerability, shame, embarrassment and fear. Clinging to his shirt, she felt his arms come around her holding her tight to him and she breathed him in. His scent grounded her, whether it was whatever his shirts were laundered in or his cologne, the woodsy fresh smell calmed her and kept her from spilling her breakfast all over the pristine deck.

"What must you think of me? I'm _so_ embarrassed." She looked up at him, glad that she'd worn waterproof mascara. Looking a mess and acting a mess would have just topped it for her.

His hands came to her face and she was sure that he was going to kiss her - she would have let him too. He brushed away a tear that had leaked out.

"I'm so proud of you right now, I could kiss you…" It wasn't her lack of sea legs that made her knees weak, but the way Christian was looking at her with such raw passion.

She looked down, suddenly overcome with shyness as she realised they had an audience. As much as she kept telling herself they were just friends, it was fast becoming a reality that she really wasn't going to be able to keep up the pretence. The spark between them was live and ravenous.

Her hands were flat against his chest, but he didn't remove them. Instead, his eyes were full of heat. The understanding bloomed within her that the very moment she tried to overcome her fear, he had too. She'd forgotten as she clung to him, how much his fear of touch must be overwhelming, yet he'd not said a word - _for her_.

Their moment was broken by the whoops and hollers from above as Kate and Elliott egged them on.

"Later." She said. Only realising how much of a tease that sounded. She bit her lip at the thought.

Christian sucked in a breath. "I'll hold you to that..." He gave her a cheeky wink that reminded her so much of Elliott, she couldn't help but smile.

"Are you up for a tour?" He asked her gently, releasing their embrace to take her hand.

She looked around, down at her feet and up at the sky like she was taking inventory. Here in the marina, she actually felt O.K - like step one was over and accomplished. It really wasn't so bad.

The boat was massive and felt solid beneath her. It looked so luxurious and her curious nature longed to see more of it. She could manage a tour, then when step two came and they started to move, she'd buckle in with life vest on safe in the knowledge there were three people who could swim and a plethora of emergency equipment.

"O.K." She gripped his hand for dear life. _Don't let go of me...please _she silently beseeched.

He beamed that smile that made him look so young and so breathtakingly handsome, she felt herself relax a tiny bit. They walked slowly around the vessel; he showed her a large lounging area fitted with the same cornflower blue furnishings and pale wood, four luxurious bedrooms, a kitchen - a _galley_ he called it and finally up some steps to the upper deck where Kate and Elliott were sprawled over enormous cushions.

"Hi Ana, isn't this fantastic?" Kate asked her, the unspoken question in her eyes asking if she was doing O.K.

"It's amazing." She smiled at her friend, trying to convey the genuine appreciation of her surroundings. Kate's eyes glanced downwards and Ana followed the direction of her gaze.

She and Christian were still holding hands and she smiled shyly back at Kate as she realised what it must look like. There was no judgement from her friend though, Kate returned her smile that spoke a thousand words.

Her body trembled slightly, the residual adrenaline that fuelled her desire to run to solid ground was waning.

"Are you cold?" Christian's soft voice asked her, mistaking her trembling for a chill. She shook her head and looked into his eyes. His concern for her touched her deeply.

_God, why did he make her feel so topsy-turvy?_

"Good, I need you to help me take her out." He announced cheerfully, taking both of her hands gently and leading her over to a bank of controls.

Christian proceeded to put her at the wheel, his front to her back where she felt safely encapsulated as he told her what the various controls were in the 'cockpit'. Being at the helm made her feel a tiny bit more relaxed. The proximity of Christian's body to hers felt natural and it was hard to not just burrow back into him.

His mouth was inches away from her ear and occasionally she felt his warm breath on the back of her neck. His voice was smooth as honey, his tone commanding but soothing and the press of his body that she felt every now and again as he reached to switch or turn something was driving her crazy.

Her mind had moved to fixate on their closeness, so she'd barely noticed that they were out of the marina and onto open water until one of her _shipmates _called out. Ana could feel herself start to smile as the realisation that she hadn't freaked out completely.

"Good going brother, Ana. You need a hand skipper?" Elliott called out.

Christian called back to him to say that he would need help shortly when they deployed the spinnaker sail.

"Yay Ana! See - I knew you could do it honey." She heard Kate call out to her. Ana looked back and around Christian, smiling shyly at her friend who was giving her the thumbs up before Elliott started kissing her jaw, drawing her attention away.

Ana turned back, her hands still firmly place on the bar at the bottom of the bank of controls. She looked out at the expanse of water around her and took a deep breath of the fresh salty air. They cruised along the coastline where she saw the urban sprawl give way to rugged coastline and lush forest. She had no idea where they were heading but was content to let it go for once and just let the experience wash over her.

The gentle rumble of the engine lulled her as she forgot her fears and relaxed her head back on Christian's chest. He tensed and she looked up as he turned his head to her, their faces close enough to touch.

If ever there was a moment to kiss him it would be then. Several times now they'd been close and she'd held herself back even though she could see the passion burning in his eyes. She was finding it hard to resist him more and more.

Christian's lips opened and she couldn't help but mimic him when his tongue darted out to whet his lip. Reaching on her tip-toes, she pressed a tender kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you Christian..._for this_." She said softly.

She was aware that he had moved his body closer, their bodies now touching from her head on his chest, to his groin pressed to the top of her ass. The heat from their touch was doing wonders for her libido which had gone into hibernation ever since the mention of salt-water. She didn't even care that they had an audience - Kate and Elliott could make out in the middle of a riot seemingly unaffected.

"You're welcome Ana…" Those slate grey eyes shone brighter than they ever had and she felt herself slip.

"How am I supposed to resist you?" She breathed, her flimsy will blown away on the ocean breeze.

He looked pleased for a second before he huskily replied, "you don't…" Soft lips caressed hers and she felt her knees go weak as that frisson of pure attraction coursed all over her body.

It was a tender, innocent kiss. No tongues or fisting of hair, just featherlike pecks that she felt so much more deeply inside than the passion they'd shared before. They broke apart as they heard a throat clearing behind them.

"Unless you're planning to run aground, we'd better get shipshape little brother." The voice of reason in the form of Elliott stood behind them, a cheeky grin splitting his face. Hypocritically he looked like he was enjoying the spectacle and frankly she was surprised he'd willingly come up for air at all. He and Kate had been inseparable, quite literally, since they met that Ana had wouldn't be surprised if she was minus a flatmate in the near future.

Christian ignored Elliott, choosing to rise above the teasing of his brother's tone. She imagined there were plenty of times that the two brothers would wind each other up, more so from Elliott than Christian. She felt a semblance of pity for their mother as she pictured what a handful they would've been growing up.

"No rest for the wicked!" He piped up merrily. Huh - a merry Christian, what was the world coming to?

In another out of character move, Christian put his fingers in his mouth and sounded out a loud whistle. All three of his guests turned to gape at the usually taciturn billionaire as two men appeared from below at his unconventional summons. Where had they been hiding when she'd had the tour before? Had she really been that out of sorts that she didn't see the two uniformed staff lurking somewhere?

"Mr Grey." They announced as they stood awaiting instruction.

"David, I need you to take the wheel whilst I let this baby loose." He requested to the tall, dark guy about Ray's age. He had the same salt 'n' pepper hair and was dressed in Bermuda shorts and a polo shirt bearing the Grace's name.

"Aye Sir." He replied to Christian in a crisp English accent. Christian pulled me back gently away from the controls as David moved to take over.

"Stefan, we'll be ready to eat in about forty minutes." She wondered if he had staff aboard every time he came out on the Grace. He was undoubtedly used to be waited upon, but it would take her a little more time before she was comfortable with such a luxury.

"Molto buono Sir." Came Stefan's accented reply - Italian she thought as he bowed briefly and turned back in the direction he'd come from.

She'd found herself completely relaxed until Christian reminded her that he'd got to go with Elliot and do something she couldn't remember the name of - some technical sailing language. She stiffened, not wanting to leave his arms - _he promised he wouldn't leave her!_

"Hey, I'm not leaving you - you're helping too, unless you'd like to join Kate in a glass of champagne?" He offered in a conciliatory tone.

She was thirsty and her mouth watered at the thought of a glass of champagne. She'd bet her car that it was delicious albeit outrageously expensive.

He was being so gentle with her, so considerate that the little wall she'd built around her heart was coming down brick by brick. The Christian she imagined in his dungeon was a torn and faded memory that was slowly being replaced by the kind of romantic hero she'd read or dreamed about.

The change in him was astounding. Where was the snappy, cool dominant that had she'd come to know _and love? _Her wiseass subconscious added.

Love! The concept was ridiculous...wasn't it? She couldn't be in love with him, not already - could she? There was so much doubt about what they each wanted out of a relationship, but dammit if Christian wasn't sweeping her off her feet. She had to admit, that he was behaving more and more like her literary heroes every day.

If she could wipe out the unfortunate night she'd lost her virginity, every other encounter with him had made her feel lit up inside. _Hey! We thought that night was fuckhot!_ Both her inner goddess and her subconscious were fanning themselves dreamily. Unbidden, a red hot image of Christian naked and horny sprang to the forefront of her mind and she had to agree, even that night he'd lit her up more than once. A chill ran down her spine at the reminder.

She realised she'd been distracted by her two imaginary moral chaperones who seemed to be on the same immoral page in that moment. Keeping Christian at a distance was proving futile when he was being so sweet.

"Actually, I'd love a glass of champagne." She decided as she glanced at Kate lounged on the plush banquette behind them. Kate and a little bit of alcohol would keep her from freaking out but she hoped he wouldn't be too long.

"As my lady wishes." Like a true gentleman he took her over to the seating area where there was a chilled bottle of champagne resting in a silver ice bucket. A small selection of antipasto was artfully arranged around it on silver platter.

Kate took her free hand and squeezed gently as Christian held the other. "Glad you're with us Ana, we've got you honey."

Ana pursed her lips hard to stop the spill of tears she felt building as the emotion of the moment got to her. Such good friends were hard to find and ones that didn't ridicule or make light of her plight were even harder to keep. In all her years, her own mother had not taken the trouble to help her overcome this fear. Ray had tried, but not that hard - he had a hard time coping with emotional women. Now though, her best friend and a man she'd known for weeks had turned that around.

She squeezed Kate's hand back. "Me too…and thank you. It really is stunning out here." Looking from Kate and at her surroundings, her gaze landed back on Christian.

"It certainly is." He spoke softly and Ana blushed deeply as she realised he meant her, not the view.

Christian let go of her hand to pour her a glass of champagne, it was pink and she noted there was a fresh raspberry in the bottom of the glass that lazily made its way to the surface. Handing it to her, he then stood and promised her he'd be back very soon. She had to hand it to him; he'd handled her well and made her feel like this was no effort at all. Kate started chattering away about her upcoming vacation as they nibbled on crostino, prosciutto and the most delicious olives she'd ever tasted.

She chipped in every now again as Kate talked about Barbados and how much she wanted Ana to go too. But it was perfectly clear from the longing glances she kept throwing at Elliott, who _was _going to accompany her, that I was second choice. She didn't mind one bit, even though she'd miss her friend, she imagined there was one person who wouldn't let her be lonely if he had any hand in the matter.

The beautiful landscape and the glittering ocean were mesmerising, but she allowed herself a few moments to close her eyes as she let the sun warm her skin. Once again, visions of Christian danced over her eyelids and she smiled at the handsome face that had started to consume her thoughts.

The boys came back after a few minutes and explained what they'd been doing and talked about where they were headed. There was even talk of whale spotting on the way back which excited her no end. Stefan announced their lunch was ready and so they made their way down to the rear of the main deck. Palmer had taken charge of the sailing part and they stopped a short way out of the bay, with the island barely a stone's throw away.

On a fixed dining table big enough to seat a dozen people were a selection of Italian dishes which they could help themselves to. She sat and once again Christian offered to serve her, which she couldn't help but giggle at. Kate and Elliott were once again wrapped up in each other, their heads close enough that it was clear they weren't listening to anything but each other. It was just as well.

"I know exactly what's going through your mind Miss Steele." Christian leaned down and whispered lowly in her ear.

With a rare forwardness she didn't know she possessed, she turned her face and breathed her reply into his ear, her lips a fraction away from his skin.

"You may be rich and powerful Mr Grey, but I highly doubt there's any way you could possibly know what's going through my mind right now."

Christian's sharp intake of breath was a clear indicator he had indeed understood her intention to flirt with him and if the resulting smirk was anything to go by, he was thoroughly enjoying it.

He tried to feign nonchalance as he filled a plate for her but it was plain to see, even with his retro Ray-Bans on, that he was dying to know. It seemed like a day for changes and facing demons straight on, so she decided to toy with him a little.

"I have ways of making people talk you know…" He dipped his gaze to look her in the eye over his sunglasses, those soft greys full of promise. She wasn't perturbed, not one bit.

He handed her a plate that was filled with far more than she could possibly eat, but then noticed he hadn't one of his own as he started to fill a fork with yummy looking lasagne. With a linen napkin in one hand he turned his body to face her and offered up the fork in front of her mouth.

"Open wide Miss Steele." He smirked at her raised brow. He really was going all out to take care of her and she couldn't find it in herself to chastise him for his bossiness.

She'd never been one to flirt. Never having felt all that comfortable in her own skin, she chose to take a step back from all of the hormone induced forwardness that was rife at high school and then college. It seemed to come naturally to Christian, but if she was to believe what he said about never having a conventional relationship, his brand of flirting was on a whole other level.

Even with her limited experience, she knew his level of sexpertise was off the charts. He was charismatic and confident. Mix that all together and the man must have a degree in dirty talk. He didn't need to flirt with his submissive's she was certain of it - they were a sure thing, but from what she'd gathered from her covert internet research, verbal stimulation was as much of a turn on as the physical. Talk the talk and all that jazz - teasing was just part of delayed gratification.

Answering his previous statement she replied. "Really? I doubt there's much tolerance for bondage and whips in the board room..._Sir_."

She took the bite of lasagne in her mouth and chewed it slowly as she watched his reaction. As per expectations, his face gave away nothing but the all too revealing hard-on he was sporting was a dead giveaway that he loved being called 'Sir'. Maybe it was just her saying the words 'bondage' and 'whips'? She'd have to test that theory one day.

She wasn't naive enough to hope that he'd given up the whole BDSM thing. A leopard can't change it spots - so talk of what he enjoyed was obviously going to stoke a reaction in him. Briefly, she wondered if they'd be comfortable around each other enough that she could ask him about his lifestyle. He'd wanted to explain to her a while back, but she'd been too shocked and hurt to want to listen. Now that she'd had time to digest it and poke her curious little nose into various BDSM websites, she was downright itching to know more.

With this on her mind, she couldn't help herself as she licked her lips, thoroughly enjoying both the delicious food and his reaction to her behaviour. He removed his sunglasses, tucking them into the neck of his shirt. Leaning forward he forked some mixed salad leaves and shaved parmesan before turning back to her and feeding her once again. _Wasn't he going to eat?_

With barely six inches between them he watched enraptured as her tongue and lips found the leaves and took them into her mouth. "I've been known to give a good tongue lashing when it's called for _Miss Steele_."

Ana nearly choked on her mouthful as she visualised that very dirty mouth doing just that. She felt that telltale blush on her cheeks, regardless of her newfound confidence.

"Does the _recipient _of said tongue lashing then perform to your satisfaction?"

His eyes went noticeably darker and his tongue darted out to lick his lips. "Oh yes, they sing like the proverbial canary."

"_I just bet they do_." She whispered huskily.

Just then she had a vision of her spread out on desk, skirt pulled up around her waist and her feet on the arms of his chair. His head is buried between her legs giving her a literal tongue lashing from the seat of his executive chair as she screams in ecstasy. She had to shake away the fantasy before she moaned in time with her fantasy self. Her nipples were hard and her core was throbbing at the thought.

Christian leant over and helped himself to more lasagne and salad as he let his reply hanging, but when he looked back he glanced down at her chest. He groaned audibly as he chewed but she knew it wasn't in appreciation of the food. His hand was clenched close to his crotch and if he hadn't have had company, was sure he would have stroked the obvious erection he was now sporting. It was a good job that she and the table obscured the others' view of Christian's plight, not that it mattered, as usual they were oblivious.

She felt a little pride in knowing that her first attempt at flirting was producing such results. She also felt a little bit of shame, knowing that toying with Christian wasn't fair if she wasn't going to carry it through. She _wanted _to carry it through, but was scared to take the leap. Would a non-BDSM relationship like he's suggested, really be enough for him? Could she take a chance and experiment a little with what he liked - would he want that?

Christian set his fork down and took a large swallow from a glass of sparkling water. He picked up her hand and wove his fingers between hers.

"What's going on here Ana?" He asked, as if reading her mind. The rare sight of a nervous Christian replacing his confident facade.

She took her own glass and washed away the taste of parmesan and lasagne as she contemplated her answer.

"I don't know Christian. I..." She sucked in a breath, biting her lip as she let the oxygen attempt to clear her brain.

He reached for her, tugging her lip from the grasp her teeth had on it and smoothed his thumb over the swollen flesh. His eyes burned with anticipation and she could tell he was holding himself back from demanding an answer - it was his way. But this time, he was being patient - _just for her_.

"I'm scared. You're being so wonderful and so caring and I'm scared to make that leap into the unknown. I know you're willing to do things differently and I really appreciate that but I have to admit that I'm curious…" She stared into his eyes, willing him to understand what she meant without having to ask him outright.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliott and Kate slip away from the table. She could imagine where they were going - when they were in the apartment they were at it like rabbits. She was glad she and Christian were now alone, now that the direction of conversation was one she didn't want overheard.

They'd both turned their bodies towards one another, each having a knee resting on the cushioned surface. Christian looked even more handsome with his hair all tousled from the breeze and the sun lighting up his face. He even had a little sexy stubble which she was itching to touch.

"I've told you Ana...you don't need to be scared with me - I won't ever hurt you." He fiddled with a lock of her hair before tucking it behind her ear before continuing.

"What exactly are you curious about?"

She dreaded him asking this as she really didn't know how to voice her curiosity. The harder aspects of his lifestyle terrified her; that was the main reason she ran before. She was also terrified that he'd want more in time and want to do that with her - the thought made her shudder.

Too embarrassed to elaborate, she wrangled her fingers as she cringed at her inability to voice her true feelings. They'd gone from BDSM innuendo to the plain hard truth and she couldn't put a voice to it. Christian seemed to realise this and spoke for her.

"You have questions about what I like to do...in my playroom?" He asked tentatively.

She nodded, still not looking up fully. "I know that I said...that I didn't want anything to do with it, but I...will you tell me about it. Not here and now, but another day?"

"Of course...anything you want to know, I'll tell you. But tell me Ana, _please _because it's killing me to know...are you giving me a chance?"

Looking so earnest and so very young at the same time - his boyish vulnerability was the panacea to her fears. She was all too aware that this was moving very quickly, that she'd wanted them to build a foundation before she contemplated building a relationship with him. It seemed like fate or the universe or whatever 'the Grey effect' was having on her, she didn't want to wait. Christian, it seemed, was powerful enough to have the world revolve around him.

"Yes...yes I am." She'd barely got the words out and she found herself pushed back onto the covered bench, a strong hand at the back of her head and his strong body pressed up against her.

"Oh Ana...I'm going to give you everything you ever dreamed of." He declared, the emotion evident in his glassy eyes.

He crushed his mouth to hers and this time, their kiss was passionate and deep. It went on and on as their tongues laved each other's and lips caressed franticly. Ana couldn't help but push her body up to meet Christian as he loomed over her, just like in her dream with the exception of clothes.

She wanted to run her hands all over his chest and his back, grip his shoulders and slide down to grip his biceps appreciating his powerful body, but she knew she couldn't. He wasn't ready for that yet, no matter what he said or did today or that day at the patisserie. So she settled for stroking his neck and his hair, his jaw and his forearms. She ground her pelvis against him, making him growl in response and rubbed her hard nipples against his chest hoping for some kind of friction.

They broke away from each other, panting and out of breath but still he held her close. _Boy could he kiss!_ Her heart swelled and her skin flushed at the rush of endorphins. They only fuelled the temptress that was he'd unleashed.

"It looks like you'll be giving me that tongue lashing then Mr Grey...if you want to know what I dream about." She ran her fingernail through his stubble from ear to chin, tickling the stiff hairs.

His eyes went wide at her suggestive tone, but turned dark and narrowed. She could almost hear the cogs turning in his mind.

"Why Miss Steele, do you have something to confess to me...about your dreams?" He asked seductively. His teasing tone laced with the promise of absolution.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, _Sir_." She whispered huskily.

"Fuck! Ana...when you look at me like that and call me 'Sir', I just want to…" He grabbed both her hands above her head and ground his erection into her. She whimpered as the hardness pushed against her nub, sending a jolt of pleasure through her.

"Want to what?" She breathlessly urged him to continue. It appeared she had no shame as they dry-humped like teenagers in broad daylight.

She threw her head back as he kissed and nipped her earlobe, down her neck to her shoulder where he bit gently before whispering in her ear.

"That's for me to know and you to find out, _Miss."_ Before she had a chance to protest, they heard footsteps approaching from inside.

Ana moved to get up and Christian moved away from her to sit back in their respective places, quickly smoothing themselves down as Elliott and Kate came back from their little tryst.

"Hey you two!" Kate's chirpy voice interrupted.

Kate plonked herself down where they'd been sat before, but Elliott pulled her up again and sat down in her place, pulling Kate down on his lap before landing a sloppy kiss on her lips. They were so adorable. Ana wondered briefly whether she and Christian would ever be like that. It was a possibility, wasn't it? They did just make out like a couple of horny teenagers.

"I'm famished, feed me woman!" Elliott banged his fist on the table all the while grinning at Kate who was mirroring him like a loon. To Ana's surprise, Kate giggled, which was quite out of character for her. It seemed that the 'Grey' men had the same effect on 'their women'.

"Sorry guys, gotta feed my man. Hey - you two have hardly touched the food! What have you been up to?" Kate waggled her brows at Ana as she loaded a plate up for Elliott who looked completely smitten with the woman on his lap.

Christian also resumed piling their plate up and handed her a fork so they could share the plate.

"Nothing much...just feeding my girl." She didn't need to look to confirm that the others had heard. The sound of palms slapping as they hi-fived was evidence enough that Kate and Elliott were pleased with the outcome of today. They weren't the only ones.

This time it was Christian that was lit up inside - she hadn't seen him look so happy before and it seemed it was contagious as a grin split her face too.

It seemed the Grace was in need of renaming - The Love Boat might be more appropriate.

* * *

* The Story of O - An erotic novel published in 1954 by French author Anne Desclos under the pen name Pauline Réage. It was and still is viewed by some as the ultimate objectification of women. A shocking piece of literature for its time; the subject of male dominance, female submission, sexual slavery and sexual objectification. (Summary from Wikipedia).


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